Hi Paul. Sorry you're going through a bad time right now.
I'd like to be able to drink beers every now and then too. I just know that I can't. I know I'll end up back to my old ways......it's all downhill from there. When I'm in that situation, like a party or something, I just remind myself I can't drink even if I want to. I remind myself that it's my disease talking.....that voice in the back of your head that says "Oh, you can just have a few tonight......". I tune it out and pat myself on the back for being strong. I know you can do it too.
You just have to find that desire deep down inside of you.
hugs,
doll