Balance Parenthood and a new relationship

[amenuez]

Hi ladies. I am feeling down and out today. Need some input from my sisters in recovery. July 20th, I look forward to celebrating 2 years of sobriety, and am so grateful for God's grace. Ok, so now I've started to break the alcohol cycle in my family and life is grand until God answered my prayers and put someone in my life. He certainly has a sense of humor. Here's a little background info before I explain my dilemma. I'm 43, divorced for 3 years after 23 years of marriage. I have three lovely daughters ages: 22, 17 and 10.
About a year ago, God put a special someone in my life. He has an 8 year old daughter. As long as we were just friends my youngest daughter seemed willing to accept him and play with his daughter. My older daughters are happy Mom finally found someone to keep company with when the children visit their father, which their time is spent equally between parents homes. Recently, my "friend" has become much more attentive, ie; calling more, stopping by my office, spending time at my house helping with upkeep stuff and just generally around more. My daughter doesn't want: Me to do fun things with him and his daughter without her. Doesn't want him to come over when it is her time at my house. Doesn't want me to go "out" with him. Treats his daughter terrible. I am the good alcoholic that wants to keep everybody happy and be happy as well, but I am so sad at this moment. I feel for my child as a product of divorce myself. How do I break this cycle? I don't want my children to have unhealthy relationships because of my great mentoring. In all this chaos, I'm afraid I have put all this as my priority issue and have forgotten my program. I have come to you to draw on your ES&H. I keep trying to turn it over, but something always happens that I seem to take it back and have to worry again. HELP!!

Thank you for letting me vent, that felt good.

Love, Andrea

[indigo]

I hope things smooth over for you soon, it took time but my four children accepted and love my partner of 21 years.

Hugs indigo

[laurie6781]

Hi ameneuz and Welcome to SR.

I believe that your 10 year old may be having a harder time of it, with the divorce, mommy now sober, and bang a 'new man' and 'kid' in yours and her life, than your older 2 children.

Might I suggest getting her some counselling with a pediatric counselor that will give her a 'safe' place to vent and work through all her 'different' feelings. I know when my sister got divorced, she put my youngest niece (9 at the time) and my youngest nephew (10 at the time) in therapy and it really did WONDERS for the kids!!!!!!!

Just a thought as the counsellor used to this type of thing will probably also have some 'good' suggestions to help you also.

JMHO

Love and (((((to all))))),