Thank God (or Goddess) for empowered women

[kali ma]

Last night I finally met with an ex's mom. I love this woman. She has been sober for a year-and-a-half, and she is incredibly empowered and empowering. I have been benefiting greatly from the posts on SR, but it is completely different to meet with someone face to face who is going through the same thing. The first post on this board was regarding feminists. She is a regular at AA meetings, and she had the same issues with the "spirituality" aspect of it all before she joined. She told me that whenever she sees "God" she replaces it with "mother nature, spirit, or goddess," which really hit home for me. She also recommended some good books, which I am looking forward to reading. I don't know if anyone read my other post "Iced Tea???," but I have had an insatiable craving for iced tea since I quit drinking the vodka. As soon I walked in the door, "Would you like some iced tea?" Weird.She eased my fears about AA, which I am so incredibly grateful for. Her son (my ex, who I am still friends with) told me a few weeks ago that she had been going to AA, and I was incredibly taken back. I told her last night that she is literally the LAST PERSON ON EARTH I would imagine who would be an alcoholic. It goes to show that the disease really does cross all socio-economic lines, and no one is untouchable from it. She has been my savior through this, and I honestly think that she is one of the biggest reasons I stopped drinking. So thanks to her and all of you, I have the support that I need to succeed this time. Every other attempt was quickly defeated because I assumed I would not have the support network that I needed. So to all of you women out there who have been posting, THANK YOU

[Lollipop]

Katie,
I dunno how I missed this post, thats why it has taken me until now to respond.
Thank the Goddess indeed!!! Congrats to you, your doing great. I like the way your mother in law handles the God thing in AA, I have not been to a meeting yet mainly do to the religion aspect that seems to be such a big part of AA. I have however, been really thinking hard about trying one because at 17 days sober, I am starting to feel that I need more help then what I have at this point. I think I am going to try it, I mean I dont have to go back if it isnt for me right? If nothing else, maybe I can gain some knowledge. Wish me luck and again, Congrats, your doing great. I am going to pm you here shortly!!
Love Liss

[wishful]

Wow! I'd love to meet this lady, too! You're right, you don't meet many women of power. What a great gift you've been given in your time of need - you are blessed!

[GettingFree]

Hi kali ma,

I missed this thread too -- and I'm sure the fact that this woman is there for you has so much to do with who you are as a person too!

I thought I'd post here an alternative to the traditional 12 steps that were developed by Charlotte Kasl, a psychologist, addiction specialist and reiki healer.

She developed this because she saw that the 12 steps were based on assumptions about addiction made over 50 years ago by white, primarily upper middle class, professional men who were alcoholic. As such, she saw that the steps did not address 'cultural diversity and internalized oppression stemming from sexism, racism, classism, and homophobia.'

What she saw sorely missing was a foundation of empowerment that, understandably, white, upper middle-class, men, in positions of power, would not identify with.

The 16-Steps

1) We affirm we have the power to take charge of our lives and stop being dependent on substances or other people for our self-esteem and security.

Alternative: We admit/acknowledge we are out of control with/powerless over ________ yet have the power to take charge of our lives and stop being dependent on substances or other people for our self-esteem and security.

2) We come to believe that God/Goddess/Universe/Great Spirit/Higher Power awakens the healing wisdom within us when we open ourselves to the power.

3) We make a decision to become our authentic selves and trust in the healing power of the truth.

4) We examine our beliefs, addictions and dependent behavior in the context of living in a hierarchical, patriarchal culture.

5) We share with another person and the Universe all those things inside of us for which we feel shame and guilt.

6) We affirm and enjoy our intelligence, strengths and creativity, remembering not to hide these qualities from ourselves and others.

7) We become willing to let go of shame, guilt, and any behavior that keeps us from loving ourselves and others.

8) We make a list of people we have harmed and people who have harmed us, and take steps to clear out negative energy by making amends and sharing our grievances in a respectful way.

9) We express love and gratitude to others and increasingly appreciate the wonder of life and the blessings we do have.

10) We learn to trust our reality and daily affirm that we see what we see, we know what we know and we feel what we feel.

11) We promptly admit to mistakes and make amends when appropriate, but we do not say we are sorry for things we have not done and we do not cover up, analyze, or take responsibility for the shortcomings of others.

12) We seek out situations, jobs, and people who affirm our intelligence, perceptions and self-worth and avoid situations or people who are hurtful, harmful, or demeaning to us.

13) We take steps to heal our physical bodies, organize our lives, reduce stress, and have fun.

14) We seek to find our inward calling, and develop the will and wisdom to follow it.

15) We accept the ups and downs of life as natural events that can be used as lessons for our growth.

16) We grow in awareness that we are sacred beings, interrelated with all livings things, and we contribute to restoring peace and balance on the planet.