Juls

[liveweyerd]

Hi! How are you. I have enjoyed and benefitted from you. Hope to get to know you better, learn and share.

In re: to Zoomer's post about running away....I wonder how long you were married, how long you were single? why you chose to re-marry? Synchronizing the clashes of freedom to commit and ...well, etc.

And I saw you had an interest in reading and the arts.

peace,
live

[Juls]

Hi Wyred,

Actually, this is my first time being married. I had my son at 21 as an unwed mother by choice. I had this romantic notion of having and raising a child by myself. The father never even knew. I always thought that I would eventually get married though, but by the time my son was 18 it hadn't happened so I was ready to have my own life. I had this five year plan on where I wanted to go and live. It included Seattle, Alaska, and Arizona.

I owned a home which I partially inherited through my mother's estate, but it wasn't in a very good neighborhood, so I was hell bent on selling and getting out. Alot of bad things had happened to me in this town, but I had stayed to be close to my mom, and then after she died I should have sold and got out, but I didn't. I wanted my son to finish in the high-school that he was in. This town didn't have it's own high-school, so he had to go one town over. Then when I wanted to sell, the neighborhood had gotten so bad nobody wanted to buy the damn house. If somebody hadn't ended up buying that house I would have let the bank foreclose on it.

Well right before I was getting ready to move I met my husband. I was doing one of those singles things. It's a voice mail deal. You call up and listen to someone's spiel, then if you like it you can respond, and eventually meet if you want. Well it really seemed like another way to meet a bunch of losers so I was ready to cancel my membership when my husband left me a message. I really liked his message, but I think what really attracted me to it was his voice which resembled very the much the voice of a very close male friend of mine who had passed away.

We arranged to meet at a coffee house, and I arrive early so I can check him out before he sees me, just in case if he looks like a freak or a weirdo I can leave without meeting him. But I could tell when I saw him that he was a nice guy. Not too bad looking, and not so cute that I'd feel ugly standing next too him.

To make a long story short we started dating, but after a few months I started to see that this guy had issues. I mean he had all the basic values I was looking for - honesty, faithfulness, whatever - but he had an anger and jealously problem. Also he hadn't had much experience in relationships.

Well I had sold my house, was living in what I thought was the town of my dreams, a small resort town here in California, was working at a profession that I had just finished a program for, my son was on his own taking care of himself so this was phase 1 of my five year plan.

And I was ready to dump this guy when I found out I was pregnant. I can't even begin to describe the state of turmoil this threw me into. I didn't know what to do, but I ended up marrying him, thinking I was doing the right thing, that he would change, things would be good, all this idealistic stuff. Well - seven years, and a whole lot of problems, later I'm still here.

I still want to do the right thing, for my daughter, my husband has changed for the better, and from the outside it looks like I have a pretty decent life, and I guess I do. However, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have gotten married, I would have stayed on my own where I was and had my baby, even if I'd had to go on welfare. I don't think I'm the kind of person who thrives on being married.

I've always been interested in reading and the arts. I'm a little bit of an artist, but wish I was better, and I read as much as I can. I'm considering taking on the reading of "Herodotus," the Greek historian, because I'm a little bit of a history buff too. I was raised on classic literature, since my mother and my father both believed that reading was one of the things to really encourage in us.

Well this has turned out to be a pretty long story, so I hope you can read it without getting bored.

I'd like to hear more about you too.

Juls

[liveweyerd]

Juls,
I am positivelu intrigued,

I'm not going to respond much now, but it has nothing to do with you, okay?

I am feeling run down and I am putting myself on bedrest.

Thank you for answering my questions, I want to respond in a manner worthy of your effort and my interest....

have a good evening!
live