need some help - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ndgrace · 04-15-2006, 12:53 PM

I am starting over again today, and am in need of serious sponsorship. I need a temporary sponsor, female and preferably christian. My husband does not want me to go to meetings, and I want to get well. I had 2 years sober, then 1 1/2 relapse, made it to step 5 the first time and obviously did not do enough! My husband does not have a drinking problem, and still has his stuff in the house. He also does not think I am an alcoholic, which I am! I drank again yesterday, a day off not expected, and am back to day 1.
Thanks for listening

**51anna** · 04-15-2006, 01:02 PM

Hi ndgrace,

Welcome!

I'm not an AA person myself, so I can't help you with that. But, it seems to me like your husband may not have your best interests in mind. The thing is, getting sober, is really, really hard and if you want to be able to go to meetings, then you should go. As far as having alcohol in the house, it would be nice if he didn't, but hopefully that won't bother you too much. And, it doesn't matter whether or not your husband thinks you're an alcoholic. If you believe you are and you want help, then you should go for it.

We're here to offer you lots of support and encouragement.

Justme57 · 04-15-2006, 03:29 PM

Hi ndgrace

I supoose i can understand that your husband does NOT understand you thinking you are an alkie, but then those without a probem never do, it seems. i am with Anna on this, if YOU think you are, YOU have to do whats best for you .

I wonder if , deep down, your husband feels threatened by your potential sobriety? You are likely to become a much stronger person when you are sober.

How well I know that " freedom to drink" feeling of the unexpected day off! I used to rush for the booze, and feel that it was a bonus ! What was that about ? LOL

Hang in there , one day at a time

HUGX
Lee

**Rowan** · 04-15-2006, 06:43 PM

Hi ndgrace,

I just wanted to welcome you here. I'm glad you're looking around for a sponsor, and that you want to get sober again. Why doesn't your husband want you to go to meetings? I had many people tell me that I wasn't an alcoholic when I first got sober (and some family members still feel that way), but that's just their opinion. I've learned that I am, and they'll just have to live with it until they walk a mile in my shoes.
This site is a good place to start, and I hope that you continue to post here. If you can't go to meetings, but you can go online, well then go for it.
Hang in there my friend.
Rowan

ndgrace · 04-17-2006, 09:25 AM

Thanks so much for the support. I am going to a meeting tonight, my husband does not understand, but said ok. I am sober for today, and am greatful for that. I know in the past i would get the craving, and end up buying some alcohol, and back down the tube. Until now I have not made it more the a couple days. Posting here is helping, hopefully I will find a temporary sponsor today, and will keep posting here. I need all the help I can get, especially in the beginning! It is such a fustration to be so weak, but I know God can use that weakness and make it strength.

GettingFree · 04-17-2006, 11:16 AM

Hi ndgrace,

You're doing great. You're made it through the weekend and are taking good care of yourself by pursuing the course of action you know is necessary, despite what others think. In my books, that's anything but weakness. That's strength and courage. And in time, I'm hoping your husband will become more understanding about meetings and more as you blossom and thrive in your recovery.

best
gf

Justme57 · 04-17-2006, 03:34 PM

Hi ndgrace , just dropped by to say hello

So glad you are getting to a meeting, action is very important in growing and moving forward.

I hope you enjoy your meeting, keep posting

HUGX
Lee

ndgrace · 04-17-2006, 07:21 PM

The meeting was awesome, people that understand the insanity all in the same room! I did get a temporary real person sponsor, and feel this relapse has taught me a lot about myself. One person at the meeting pointed out how good God is to allow me to live and make it back to AA, many don't! I have lots to be greatful for.

aasharon90 · 04-17-2006, 07:41 PM

Hi Karen. I am so glad u made it to ur meeting today and that u got the understanding from others in recovery and a temporary sponsor to guide u. You do have a lot to be grateful for. And most of all that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FROM GOD. I am so proud of u for taking that step. You are soooo LOVED. Feel free to message me anytime u need wish. Im here for you. AA friend in service.

ndgrace · 04-18-2006, 06:05 AM

Thanks Sharon, you have been a big help! I did not sleep much last night, but feel great today, no hangover or fuzzy thinking! Looking forward to a time when I can help someone else!

namommy · 04-18-2006, 04:06 PM

Hey ndgrace,
I just wanted to welcome you to SR and to WIR. It's great that you made it to a meeting and found a sponsor. Keep up the good work, and keep posting. Let us get to know you and support you.

ndgrace · 04-18-2006, 07:21 PM

Thanks naommy. I talked to my sponsor this pm, it is so nice to talk to people who think like you do. My husband just ignores the fact that I go out to meetings, and walks out of the room when my sponsor calls. I am not sure what he is afraid of, I hope he will tell me at some point. He did agree to stop buying beer, which could be a trigger for me, so I know he supports me. I am just greatful for another day sober.

Anna, Justme, you are right and I am glad I went to the meeting.

Gettingfree, thanks for the encouraging words

All of you Rock!

aasharon90 · 04-18-2006, 07:40 PM

Shared ESH below. Thanks

aasharon90 · 04-18-2006, 07:42 PM

Hi Karen. Glad to see ur posting. This is exactly how u r helping others. Just by sharing that u talked to ur sponsor and that it seems like u r beginning to "feel a part of" recovery. At least ir sounds like it esp. by ur actions. Don't rush, but take it as it comes. It will seem like u r on a "pink cloud" some days and others a "roller coaster" ride of emotions. They are all natural. Ur Sponsor is that person u can rely on day or night if u ever feel like wanting to pick up a drink. If it is not in ur house then u can't drink it. You can rely now on the tools offered in recovery. I know it will take time for ur spouse to understand you and possibly come to terms that this is who u r and that recovery and sobriety are important u and ur family. My husband is not an alcoholic and is supportive of my recovery, but im sure he feels replaced in many ways. For him there r options available.... for him to either go through the changes with me or stay where he is ..miserable. I cant help him and im gonna continue to grow in this program either with him or without. I think for you Karen ur taking those first steps to learning how to live a happy joyous life without alcohol. If u ever have the urge to pick up, dont. Picking up the tools offered, like calling ur sponsor, go to a meeting, reading recovery material, putting ur faith in ur Higher Power...whatever it takes to not drink. Go to any Lengths to stay sober.

Im proud of u. : )

Love and care always.

ndgrace · 04-19-2006, 04:59 AM

Sharon,
Thanks for the encouragement. My sponsor and I talked last evening. It is amazing how much we have in common. I think that is where newbies need to focus, not on the differences. Her story very common in lots of ways, they all are, to mine. Another morning sober and another meeting tonight. God is good!
Hugs,
Karen

***indigo*** · 04-19-2006, 05:49 AM

Welcome to SR I hope you find what you are looking for.

indigo

ndgrace · 04-23-2006, 10:00 PM

This site has been a miracle to me. I am learning to let God do for me ,what i can not do for myself. I did feel very tired this afternoon. I think day 9, and am wondering if this is normal. I am so relieved to have not experienced worse withdrawal symptoms, by God's grace I think I am through the worse of that. Now on to that living sober stuff! Feeling tired definitely made me feel more vulnerable, glad it was Sunday.

Justme57 · 04-23-2006, 10:20 PM

Hi ndgrace ! WOW! girl , you rock as a friend of mine used to say LOL

Well done ! I am so glad you are getting to meetings and that you have a sponser to help you

Just dont drink TODAY under any circumstances , and you cant go wrong !

HUGX
lee

04-15-2006, 12:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
ndgrace ndgrace Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: VA Posts: 72	need some help I am starting over again today, and am in need of serious sponsorship. I need a temporary sponsor, female and preferably christian. My husband does not want me to go to meetings, and I want to get well. I had 2 years sober, then 1 1/2 relapse, made it to step 5 the first time and obviously did not do enough! My husband does not have a drinking problem, and still has his stuff in the house. He also does not think I am an alcoholic, which I am! I drank again yesterday, a day off not expected, and am back to day 1. Thanks for listening

04-15-2006, 01:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	Hi ndgrace, Welcome! I'm not an AA person myself, so I can't help you with that. But, it seems to me like your husband may not have your best interests in mind. The thing is, getting sober, is really, really hard and if you want to be able to go to meetings, then you should go. As far as having alcohol in the house, it would be nice if he didn't, but hopefully that won't bother you too much. And, it doesn't matter whether or not your husband thinks you're an alcoholic. If you believe you are and you want help, then you should go for it. We're here to offer you lots of support and encouragement. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

04-15-2006, 03:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	Hi ndgrace I supoose i can understand that your husband does NOT understand you thinking you are an alkie, but then those without a probem never do, it seems. i am with Anna on this, if YOU think you are, YOU have to do whats best for you . I wonder if , deep down, your husband feels threatened by your potential sobriety? You are likely to become a much stronger person when you are sober. How well I know that " freedom to drink" feeling of the unexpected day off! I used to rush for the booze, and feel that it was a bonus ! What was that about ? LOL Hang in there , one day at a time HUGX Lee __________________

04-15-2006, 06:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
Rowan Lucky Cracka Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,021 Blog Entries: 1	Hi ndgrace, I just wanted to welcome you here. I'm glad you're looking around for a sponsor, and that you want to get sober again. Why doesn't your husband want you to go to meetings? I had many people tell me that I wasn't an alcoholic when I first got sober (and some family members still feel that way), but that's just their opinion. I've learned that I am, and they'll just have to live with it until they walk a mile in my shoes. This site is a good place to start, and I hope that you continue to post here. If you can't go to meetings, but you can go online, well then go for it. Hang in there my friend. Rowan __________________ *Christmas is cancelled.*

04-17-2006, 03:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	Hi ndgrace , just dropped by to say hello So glad you are getting to a meeting, action is very important in growing and moving forward. I hope you enjoy your meeting, keep posting HUGX Lee __________________

04-17-2006, 09:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
ndgrace ndgrace Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: VA Posts: 72	Thanks so much for the support. I am going to a meeting tonight, my husband does not understand, but said ok. I am sober for today, and am greatful for that. I know in the past i would get the craving, and end up buying some alcohol, and back down the tube. Until now I have not made it more the a couple days. Posting here is helping, hopefully I will find a temporary sponsor today, and will keep posting here. I need all the help I can get, especially in the beginning! It is such a fustration to be so weak, but I know God can use that weakness and make it strength.

04-17-2006, 11:16 AM	#6 (permalink)
GettingFree Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 690	Hi ndgrace, You're doing great. You're made it through the weekend and are taking good care of yourself by pursuing the course of action you know is necessary, despite what others think. In my books, that's anything but weakness. That's strength and courage. And in time, I'm hoping your husband will become more understanding about meetings and more as you blossom and thrive in your recovery. best gf

04-17-2006, 07:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
ndgrace ndgrace Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: VA Posts: 72	The meeting was awesome, people that understand the insanity all in the same room! I did get a temporary real person sponsor, and feel this relapse has taught me a lot about myself. One person at the meeting pointed out how good God is to allow me to live and make it back to AA, many don't! I have lots to be greatful for.

04-17-2006, 07:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
aasharon90 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Baton Rouge, La. Posts: 2,726	A Message Of Recovery Hi Karen. I am so glad u made it to ur meeting today and that u got the understanding from others in recovery and a temporary sponsor to guide u. You do have a lot to be grateful for. And most of all that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FROM GOD. I am so proud of u for taking that step. You are soooo LOVED. Feel free to message me anytime u need wish. Im here for you. AA friend in service. __________________ "A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED" SHARON M. Baton Rouge, La. 8-11-90 "Made A Decision To Turn My Will And Life Over To The Care Of God As I Understand Him."

04-18-2006, 06:05 AM	#10 (permalink)
ndgrace ndgrace Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: VA Posts: 72	Thanks Sharon, you have been a big help! I did not sleep much last night, but feel great today, no hangover or fuzzy thinking! Looking forward to a time when I can help someone else!

04-18-2006, 04:06 PM	#11 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,711	Hey ndgrace, I just wanted to welcome you to SR and to WIR. It's great that you made it to a meeting and found a sponsor. Keep up the good work, and keep posting. Let us get to know you and support you. __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. --Anonymous

04-18-2006, 07:21 PM	#12 (permalink)
ndgrace ndgrace Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: VA Posts: 72	Thanks naommy. I talked to my sponsor this pm, it is so nice to talk to people who think like you do. My husband just ignores the fact that I go out to meetings, and walks out of the room when my sponsor calls. I am not sure what he is afraid of, I hope he will tell me at some point. He did agree to stop buying beer, which could be a trigger for me, so I know he supports me. I am just greatful for another day sober. Anna, Justme, you are right and I am glad I went to the meeting. Gettingfree, thanks for the encouraging words All of you Rock!

04-18-2006, 07:40 PM	#13 (permalink)
aasharon90 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Baton Rouge, La. Posts: 2,726	Working Your Program Shared ESH below. Thanks __________________ "A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED" SHARON M. Baton Rouge, La. 8-11-90 "Made A Decision To Turn My Will And Life Over To The Care Of God As I Understand Him."

04-18-2006, 07:42 PM	#14 (permalink)
aasharon90 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Baton Rouge, La. Posts: 2,726	Working Your Program Hi Karen. Glad to see ur posting. This is exactly how u r helping others. Just by sharing that u talked to ur sponsor and that it seems like u r beginning to "feel a part of" recovery. At least ir sounds like it esp. by ur actions. Don't rush, but take it as it comes. It will seem like u r on a "pink cloud" some days and others a "roller coaster" ride of emotions. They are all natural. Ur Sponsor is that person u can rely on day or night if u ever feel like wanting to pick up a drink. If it is not in ur house then u can't drink it. You can rely now on the tools offered in recovery. I know it will take time for ur spouse to understand you and possibly come to terms that this is who u r and that recovery and sobriety are important u and ur family. My husband is not an alcoholic and is supportive of my recovery, but im sure he feels replaced in many ways. For him there r options available.... for him to either go through the changes with me or stay where he is ..miserable. I cant help him and im gonna continue to grow in this program either with him or without. I think for you Karen ur taking those first steps to learning how to live a happy joyous life without alcohol. If u ever have the urge to pick up, dont. Picking up the tools offered, like calling ur sponsor, go to a meeting, reading recovery material, putting ur faith in ur Higher Power...whatever it takes to not drink. Go to any Lengths to stay sober. Im proud of u. : ) Love and care always. __________________ "A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED" SHARON M. Baton Rouge, La. 8-11-90 "Made A Decision To Turn My Will And Life Over To The Care Of God As I Understand Him."

04-19-2006, 04:59 AM	#15 (permalink)
ndgrace ndgrace Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: VA Posts: 72	Sharon, Thanks for the encouragement. My sponsor and I talked last evening. It is amazing how much we have in common. I think that is where newbies need to focus, not on the differences. Her story very common in lots of ways, they all are, to mine. Another morning sober and another meeting tonight. God is good! Hugs, Karen

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04-19-2006, 05:49 AM	#16 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,146	Welcome to SR I hope you find what you are looking for. indigo __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

04-23-2006, 10:00 PM	#17 (permalink)
ndgrace ndgrace Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: VA Posts: 72	feeling great This site has been a miracle to me. I am learning to let God do for me ,what i can not do for myself. I did feel very tired this afternoon. I think day 9, and am wondering if this is normal. I am so relieved to have not experienced worse withdrawal symptoms, by God's grace I think I am through the worse of that. Now on to that living sober stuff! Feeling tired definitely made me feel more vulnerable, glad it was Sunday.

04-23-2006, 10:20 PM	#18 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	Hi ndgrace ! WOW! girl , you rock as a friend of mine used to say LOL Well done ! I am so glad you are getting to meetings and that you have a sponser to help you Just dont drink TODAY under any circumstances , and you cant go wrong ! HUGX lee __________________

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