Options for my son

[zoomer]

GG, my son called (the 15 year old). I guess his school is going to put a PINS on him. He wanted to come live with me. Now I'm in mind to let his father deal with all this because the bas-trd created this whole mess. Iv tried until I was blue in the face to raise my boy when I had him not to do drugs,but I can't fight an enviroment in which he was forced to be raise. Every effort I have tried has been sabatased by someone because they all tought I was crazy after I told them what my ex was like and the envorment that my boys were being raised in. Ya,I will say it could have been dam it! It is the most horrible thing in the world when you know what is true and noone will believe you! Anyway, I told my boy that I love him very much and exsplained his behavior when he is here. I told him I'm not willing to have a perso who isdoing drugs around the little ones and us as a family as a whole. I told him if he came here it would be counsling, school, curfues and acting like a family or he could stay up there and deal with the PINS. Ialso talked to his dad and told him strait up that the courts will involve him and find out about his drugs. Hum,I wonder what road his dad will take. I should not even offerd counsling because I'm sick of all this. My exs addiction has truly had an impact on my family here. My 12 year old is on the schools black list becuse of her brother's rep and other stuff. I'm angry and yes I will pass the blame to where it belongs. I can't help my son. I want to real bad,I love him so very much,but the cost of my trying to help all these years has taken a toll and yes I did everything everyone suggested. See as soon as I let go of my dreams of having help with my boys, now he wants to live with me! Too much!!!!

[liveweyerd]

Zoomer,

What is a PINS?

????
live

[zoomer]

Persons in need of supervision. The juvinile court or family court it depends on the state, orders the underage brat to live up to the stipulations the court puts forth. If the brat does not comply it could mean foster home or boys home. I'm truly upset! I just want to yell F--- heads to all the a-s-s holys that did not listion in the first place! Iv spent $1000s upon $1000s and even hired a PI when my boy almost died,and now with a flick of a wrist they can do something because he displays abnormal behavior! I guess almost dying was not good enough for that stupid school (they were covering their own ass because the principal was skimming money I think),so they would not help me! Also SS thought I was nuts,but I guess a 10 year old boy throwing up blood,losing 20 pounds and hanging on for dear life was not good enough to take him out of the home! Even after his dad gave him exlax eventhough the boy had the runs and a year later to the day he did the same thing to the other boy (gave him exlax and then h rushed him to the hospital! Now who is the one who is pysco! Dam right I'm pissed,I want my money back!
Zoomer

[Paulie]

Hey Zoomer -

You have a right to be mad...that is okay.

What is the latest? How is your son?

[zoomer]

Hey Pauly, I did get up enough umph to call his school. I kept all um resentments at bay and chirped like a bird. I guess they have real people working at the school and they actually listioned. I told them I'll support them 100% and that I do have joint legal custudy and send the paperwork my way. I said though that because my ex created this disaster, I feel he should deal with the courts and maybe then he might stop doing drugs. I wash my hands of the guilt that is not mine or was forsed upon me. I did and have go way beond what any human should go trough because of that man. I'm no saint and have my faults,but time to get on with my own life. Thanks for asking
Zoomer

[zoomer]

I do not know what will happen to my boys,but Ihave a feeling of a little peace now. Can any imagion spending umpteen years knowing something is very wrong and trying your hardest to make things right,only to have people look at you like your crazy! The whole situation made me crazy! After talking to the lady at my boys school and knowing they are trying to help took a tremdouse load off my mind! I have no idea of the outcome,but at least the ball is in the court in which it belongs. It's so hard when your heart is in several places at once and your body can only be in one place. Ugh, I'v been there for my boys when no on would,if only in my heart and ofcourse phone calls, letters and e-mails. Same with my mother. It's enough to break the strongest soul. Eventough my boys are practicaly grown,I still think of my little men who only knew me and my love for them until we seperated. I can say it was from my own choice,but I don't think so. Did Sophie have a choice?(Sophie's Choice is a book and a movie about a polish woman who was put in a cocentraion camp and when she whet in she did not want to be seperated from her children. One was a boy and one was a girl. The consentration camp officer made her choose between the children or they would shoot them all right there. She chose her son an her little girl was taken away to the gas chamber. Her son too was taken to a camp for children to be raised to be the perfect arian race. Sophie servived the camp,but unfortunetly her son was killed too. She went off to America and met up with a man that was nuts,but wealthy,and he got her healthy again. Another man who is the narater in the book was also in love with Sophie,but Sophie again made a choice that was her distruction in the end. Poor Sophie never got over her childrens deaths and the choice she was forced to make haunted her for the rest of her life. If only poor Sophie would have realized that evil never gives you a choice,it will distroy a person for any choice they might make.) I pesonally believe in God and he is with me no matter what choices I might make and give me streghth when the wronge ones are made from other people that effect my life. I know I mae wrong choices now and agian,probily by other people's standards many! That's always the way! Others can live your life perfectly,but they better pay attention to thier own! I Just had to write to get things out!

[zoomer]

GG,now I'm upset again! I'm replaying the conversation in my head with the lady at the school. She said something about my son running with an anti-semetic group! I sort of had a clue,but did not really know,but I told her I knew. I'm now wondering if the anti-semetic group is at the adult level too! I tried calling the school back,but noone was there,so now I'm stuck with the question running in my head. GG,now what! I'm not good at waiting! Well, I guess I am,it's been a long many years,but now I'm all worried! I mean Hello,if my boys are taken from the home after what I said,I don't want them in a foster home. They have a home here! Ugh,now I'm all upset until I know whats going on!
Zoomer

[Gypsygirlmom]

{{{Zoomer}}}

Relax Girl!

I don't know the whole story, but your getting yourself all worked up about something that you don't have the facts for yet! And I don't think they're going to put them in a foster home without having all the facts. And like you said, if that is the case, then you have a home for them there. And I think you said you had joint custody, right? I'm not sure what an anti-sematic group is? Probably not something good, so it would be better they were away from it? Try and not obsess over your conversation, I know how that is, I do the replay thing until I get so worked up I can't function! AAggg! So, first thing in the morning you can call & see what the scoop is, then you can deal with it.

I'm glad I never read or saw Sophies Choice. It sounds so sad, I would have just bawled thru the whole thing.

Hang in there Zoomer, it'll all work out!

Hugs,

[zoomer]

Hey Thanks for your suport. I get old tapes playing in my head and go crazy! I don't know if this is feelings of now or my past,it all gets mixed up! Anti-sematic groups are people who think whites are the supreem race and hate anyone who is not white. The KKK is anti-sematic. Of course Iv spelled it all wronge,but anti means not and sematic means simpithetic,so they are not simithetic to any race but white. I did talk to my son and I was right,he was just trying to find a group to fit in,he does not hate anyone! Good boy! Well,thanks for replying! It's good to talk things out.

[Paulie]

Keep letting it out zoomer!!!

God will take care of your boys...you have to believe that! They are in my prayers!

[zoomer]

Hey Pauly, thanks! I belive however God lets me know when things are just not right. I though have to learn to to get all worked up like I am now! Ha,Iv been how should I say tryinghard the past week to get things more managible. I have to slow down some. Well, On the other hand I have to hussle my butt to pick up my daughter at school. Thanks for your support!

[Paulie]

I agree with you zoom. God gives me a very distinct feeling when things are not right. But...I don't always listen to it, I am working on that every day. And I understand slowing down, my head gets going to fast sometimes you think I should fall down from being so dizzy.

I heard along time ago in a meeting that as addicts...our heads are neighborhoods that we should never go into alone. And that is so true for me.

Follow your heart...it will lead you in the right direction for your boys.

[zoomer]

Hey Pauly, ha, ha too funny about the mind and the neighborhood! I don't think anyone would want to be in my mind at all! It's rather um crazy in there at the moment I spook myself sometimes! LOL!!! Ofcourse now that Iv contacted the school, I want things to go very fast and I want to know what ever is going on every single second! Now 'm thinking too, that maybe my boys father and all "them" up there are white surprimest and no one told me. Too strange! My old boss (he is the lawyor that is blind) told me they have true "bad" accults up there where my son's live. I freaked (this was a few years ago) thinking maybe my ex was ito all that. I have no idea any more, but nothing would suprize me now. It would fit though with everyhing he did and said while Iwas married to him. Then again he might be a lone loony. Well, got to get the girls off to school. Thanks again for your support!