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Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
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04-04-2006, 09:32 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Lucky Cracka  | Letting down these walls
Hello ladies, I've become a 'lurker' in months past, and have let fear take over again. I'm at a crossroads in my recovery, and preparing to do a fourth step with my sponsor. I am facing many changes (boyfriend and I bought a house), and a lot of it is uncomfortable. I'm not exactly sure why I am posting, just that I know it scares me and makes me feel exposed, so I am trying to challenge myself, and to trust in God. I can't tell you how much I love this site and have come to depend on it. As I read your posts, I don't feel so alone. All I am is on a name on a screen and still I fear being vulnerable! Silly! My sponsor has promised me that I will get well, if I live the steps and do as I am taught. I met this lady 4 1/2 years ago when I first came into the rooms and I didn't like her. I was jealous of her, and that was that. A few relapses later, and we found ourselves at the same retreat in October. No matter how much I try to shut down, this lady uses compassion and love to draw me out, and she's never let me fall. I guess that's why I'm here - I need to work at all aspects of my recovery, and SR, for a time, was a very big part of it. I just needed to share that. I believe because she believes. And that's good enough for today. Thanks for listening 
__________________ Christmas is cancelled. |
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04-04-2006, 12:12 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~  Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,666
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(((((((rowan))))))))) you are not alone.hope to se ya 'round.
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~  |
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04-04-2006, 01:50 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 11,160
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Rowan, I'm glad you're back and I don't think you'll find a more compassionate group of women than in the Women in Recovery forum!
__________________ Anna  "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou |
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04-06-2006, 01:33 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,596
|  Good to see you back and posting, Rowan. You are among friends.
__________________ “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~Marianne Williamson  |
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04-06-2006, 02:15 AM
| #7 (permalink) | |
| Member  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: California
Posts: 40
| Letting down these walls Quote:
"I met this lady 4 1/2 years ago when I first came into the rooms and I didn't like her. I was jealous of her, and that was that". Oh, all us women hate each other when we first come in. The we develop such a love that is borne out of kindred spirit. How fortunate you are to have someone like that. I can sense you are on the edge of a great and exciting growth from this. | |
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04-06-2006, 03:04 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,146
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Good to see you Rowan, keep going to the rainbow's end ..... everything sent for a reason. much love indie
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namast  |
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04-06-2006, 03:17 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| the girl can't help it  |
(((Rowan)))) There once was a woman that I decided I just could not stand...everytime I saw her my blood would boil. I could not understand it I had never ever felt like before towards anyone in my whole life. She was very evasive and would always look away there was a transparent wall. Then one of my friends pointed out that I was looking in the mirror. Imagine my shock at not being able to reckonize my own self...
__________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss |
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04-06-2006, 08:26 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Lucky Cracka |
Hi Splendra, what exactly does it mean when we see ourselves in others? When your friend pointed out that the woman you did not like was much like yourself. Does that mean that you didn't like her because she reminded you (subconsciously) of yourself and the qualities in yourself that you did not like? Because I've heard this before, sort of like 'you spot it, you got it' and when I think of my own particular example, I don't really think there was anything about this lady that was like looking in a mirror. I was just jealous of her and wanted what she had. If you can help me understand this? Oh and in another post on another board (relationships and parenting I think) you mentioned a mineral bath product and I wanted to say I was going to try that for myself. So I just wanted to say thanks! And to the other ladies here who have extended so warm a welcome, (((thank you))) so much. Love Rowan
__________________ Christmas is cancelled. |
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04-06-2006, 08:35 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,666
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(((((((((((Rowan)))))))))))
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~ |
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