My name is Kate.

[HippieDisco]

I made a phone call to an old friend at a little after three this morning. He was drunk, I was stoned, and we started arguing. He said things to me that I've needed to hear for a long time now. I've been scared lately.
My drug of choice has been pot for almost a year now. But lately I've been doing coke, drinking obscene amounts of alcohol, and getting wasted on a daily basis. I've done things that I swore I would never do. I've stolen money from my mother. My father. My friends. I lie, I steal. I try to cover up my mistakes and I fail miserably. I spend all of my money and all of my time on my habit. I've blown two semesters of my college education on this. I've spent thousands of dollars in the last year on frying my brain cells and passing out.
I've woken up in front lawns, in bathrooms. Couches of people's apartments I didn't know. Almost wrecked my car a half-dozen times. I've been pulled over stoned three times, and by the grace of God I didn't get caught. I go to work high. I go to school high. It's the first thing I do in the morning, the last thing I do at night. I think about it every waking moment. I crave it. Need it.
Hate it.
I'm angry. I'm sad and sick and I don't want to lose my best friend. He is the reason I look forward to tomorrow. And I know that he's telling the truth when he says that he's disappointed in me. I believe him when he says "Kate, if I catch you, if I hear about you, if I find out you're using, it's over. I will refuse to admit that I know you or ever met you."
So today is Day 1.
I have to take my life back. It'll be hard, and long, and scary. But I'm awake now. And I think I'm ready to recover.

[indigo]

Welcome to WIR you've found a great site site, keep posting and hope Day 1 is a good one.
indigo

[CarolD]

Hello Kate... Welcome!

It's always wise to see a doctor before you quit.

How are you doing? Hugs

[Done-With-It]

Hey you!

Congrat's on DAY ONE!!!!

It's not easy to recovery but it is so worth it. You are very smart in getting out of this NOW. Coke will bring you down so far. My doc was meth, both are bad. I don't mean drinking isn't, I just know for me that nothing got ahold of me like the amphetimanes did. Get out now! Don't let it take you down any farther!!

Glad you are here!

[namommy]

Welcome to SR and to WIR. This is a great place for love and support. Post here when you struggle and when you succeed the support will help you along.

[Justme57]

(((((((( Kate)))))))

How well I remember the absolute HARD WORK it was to be an active Alcoholic!

The lieing, the hiding , or trying to, the worry about wether to drink, or when t drink, would it be different THIS time ( NO)! And OMG! the shame! and the guilt! The "not remembering" and the flashbacks!

For me, it ended when I rang AA, and comitted to attending meetings, and working to recover.

I put up with the insanity for 37 years, and now have 2 1/2 years sober, and peace and happiness at last
You can do it too, whichever avenue you choose, I wish you well, in your journey of recovery

HUGX
Lee

[51anna]

Hi Kate,

Welcome!

I, too am so glad to be free from all the 'stuff' that goes along with drinking.

I'm glad you found us.

[Hope]

(((Kate)))

Welcome~

I can relate to everything that you just said in your post. It really hits home with me because that sounded like my story word for word.

I'm glad that you are seeking a new and better life! You deserve plenty of happiness!