Boy....this is really friggin tough

[myah]

I am always amazed when I meet someone
that has managed to put a crack pipe down....any advice?

[Peacefulpie]

Good Morning Myah and Welcome to the forums!

Hi my name is Den and I am a alkie./addict

for me I had to be first willing to admit and accept that I had a fatal disease. Then I had to be willing to believe that there was hope that there was a power out there that could restore me. Then I had to be willing to put this into action.

My suggestion to you is find your local N.A attend meetings begin with 30 in 30. And inbetween each meeting no matter what even if your ass falls off just don't pick up and use or drink.

[Paulie]

Hey Myah -

I have met MANY people of the past few years who have put the pipe down and who have found a new way of life.

I brought the thread I told you about to the top of the NA board for you to read, take a look when you have time.

Stick around, it gets better - I promise!!!!

[3rd step 4 life]

I have never posted before so here goes.
Myah, it can be done it's not easy but it can be done. Out of my 36 yrs I spent 25 of them drinking and hard core druging. Crack was my last great fall. I never tried to quit anything till I tried crack cause nothing else would work anymore. Crack brought me to my knees, and I'm gratefull, crazy as it seems but I found the bottom, the pit had engulfed my life. I wasn't even drinking cause everything went into the pipe. I finally surrendered to the FACT that I would die if I did it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am an alcoholic/addict who has been sober and clean for 17 months now and there are days when all I can think of is getting some releif and untill now I only knew one way to get it and that way will kill me. But for me there is power in my higher power. The steps have brought me releif, a sponser has helped me find the next right thing, and that is no to pick up. When my cravings get me by the ass, I pray no matter what else is going on I pray, it may only stop it for a minute if it dosen't I pray some more. An easy thing for me is the serenity prayer, sometimes I may say it 600 times, It works for me. Also talking to another who understands and helps me remember that 3rd step helps me cope with the obsession that calls me right out of the blue sometimes. Remember "your mind is a bad neighborhood don't go there alone". If it get's so bad that your ass falls off put it in a bag and take it to a meeting, my sponser tells me that all the time, sounds funny but it's for real. There are others who understand and can help, hang in there one minute at a time

[myah]

wow you know I gotta tell ya 3rd...if you have never posted before I'm hoping you do from now on....thank you thank you thank you
17 months...wow. It really does change everything...crack has jarred me for life...I know I'll never be the same again....I know it sounds silly but...it took the innocence out of my addiction....does that make sense?

[3rd step 4 life]

Well yes. I did alot of things I said I would never do. Boy did that smart! I personally don't think I was ever innocent, deep down I knew what I wanted ( to not live in my head) all my addictions helped me do that. And for me everything and everybody I surrounded myself with helped me do that to. I couldn't date a man if he didn't get high some how, just wasn't possible, couldn't go anywhere if drinking or drugs weren't involved. I had to change all those thing's especially the people. I have no mental defense and now I know it. For me dating had to go for a while at least. I even had to let my child go for a period of 7mos, while I went to the VA for treatment and a transitional program. The selfish part of the program is (for me) nothing can detor me from my soberity, nothing, for without it all that stufwould be lost anyway.
But as we know Crack has strange and unusual ways of calling us, lots of funny triggers, man!!!! But I suggest getting some meetings maybe lots get to people who are living in the solution, that has had a tremendous affect for me, and just as important is getting a sponser that you can trust, who listens, and some friends in the program. When you are ready God will send a teacher he did for me and lots of others I know. Putting that pipe out of your mind can be done. Lots of prayer may be required, I have to ask at least twice a day to remove the obsession to drink and smoke crack( as well as other things). It's working for me! One minute at a time!
It sometimes gets worse before it gets better but it definately gets better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


:okay:
It works if you work it.

[myah]

Your really great 3rd...I can't tell you the relief I felt reading your sentence "crack has a strange way of calling us" I needed to hear that...Iv'e said it myself many times...but never have I heard someone else say it. It DOES call
it inhabits my dreams. Once I figure a way to use...ie; how to get there ...how to get $$ .... it seems theres no turning back...I just GO. 3 or 4 days later I'm sick , dirty, miserable, scared.... you know the drill. All those exclamation points....your telling me I can be ok......damn your strong.

myah* **

[3rd step 4 life]

I'm not any stronger than you are. There are tools that you can use (meetings, steps, sponser, friends, reading) same as me.

My sopnser reminds me of all the effort I put into the drinking and druging I have done in my life. And then she asks me what would it be like if I put just 1/2 that effort into my recovery. Well...flip me off the back of the pickup......this ride is bumpy!!!!! That told me that there should'nt be anything I would not do to get sober, cause I worked hard and long to sustain my lifestyle then, and it is going to take just as much work to get sober and clean.

That first step is the only one (I have been told) that you can work 100%. "to fully concede to our innermost selves" that we are what we are. The rest of the steps are "progress not perfection" and they will help. Have you found a sponser(?), you might want to look into it.

Stay strong and work it!