Hav ing a dreadful time

[myles1]

Hi Group,

Nice to be back.

I'm havcing a dreadful time these last couple of days, very down about everything with my ex. I'm feeling like I want to talk to him but know if I do that I'll totally disempower myself again and set myself up for more abuse. When he comes around like he did last Thursday and Friday it throws me right off balance and stirs up all kinds of emotions.

It's not for me to call him, recovery has to come from inside of us and we are ultimately are the ones to choose if we want to get well or not. I did the best that I could do at the time for myself and Myles and if he can't pull himself together to get himself straightened out then it's not my problem.

Ngaire

[myles1]

Hi Group,

I went to my therapist today and cried all the way through the session. Just having a difficult time accepting everything I guess and beating myself up about it.

Ngaire

[Paulie]

Hey Ngaire -

crying is good!!! you have to get all those emotions out! in my opinion, what you are feeling is normal. but you are right it has to come from inside a person.

keep taking it one day at a time. you are doing just fine.

[zoomer]

Hey N, gee wiz! You need to get him out of your system! Um maybe try having him back with all you know, then you will know once and for all weather it was ment to be or not. I think it's better to drop, then to be dropped,but if there is one little chance of real love, then and only then it will work out. Hey you never know! It took one of my ex(s) getting married for me to get over him real fast, I had no choice,but at least I know Idid try my best.
Zoomer

[myles1]

Thanks Pauline, thanks Zoomer,

I guess it is normal right now. I cried myself to sleep last night. I still love him but as far as making contact with him I'm not going to. Nothing will have changed, it would be more up to him to contact me with some changes.

I feel better this morning, more clear headed and rational about it.

jUst because you breakup with someone doesn't necessarily mean you aren't still in love with them. I still love him but I love myself and Myles more and don't want us to be hurt anymore.

Ngaire

[zoomer]

Hey N, see your smart and did't even know it! Just remember "what ever works for you"!
Zoomer

[myles1]

Anyway basically it's come down to a question of personal responsibility and we are dealing with an individual who is immature emotionally and as a result can't deal with any sort of responsibilty. That was one of the reasons he acted so stupidly before we broke up, the more he could keep me at a distance meant for him not having to be accountable for anything.

Ngaire