tired fighter - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

seekingpeace · 03-20-2006, 08:05 PM

hello everyone! i am new at this and not very good with computers so i hope this comes out ok. i am recovering herion user who will b sober for 1 yr next month. i have not been to a meeting in like 9 months. i go to an after care program once a week but it is run very poorly and is mostly just frustrating. i really need the support of my sister addicts. i try to be grateful for the things i have because i am not using but life does continue on and i am really getting tired of picking myself up and dusting myself off after every curve ball life throws. the last straw has been finding out i am pos. for hep c (still waiting on results of other tests) this is very scary for me as cure sounds almost worse then disease. i wonder how i will hold down a job and take care of my child while battling this and everything else that comes with being an addict. if anyone out there has tales of strength/hope to help me through this i appreciate you thank you for listening

2stop · 03-20-2006, 08:15 PM

Welcome to SR! I am sooo glad you are here. I hope you will stay and get to know us better. There is lots of hope and strength and good friendship here. I too was a 'tired fighter' when stumbling upon this site...I was an opiate addict for about 20 yrs. Been clean about 2 years now...almost. Never ever thought I could make it. I am so sorry to hear you have tested pos for hep c. You will definitely be in my prayers. You and your child.
Hang in there, k? Maybe try and make it to a meeting? Might help. Others will be along shortly to offer ES&H.
(((((((((((Warm, comforting hugs))))))))))))))))

seekingpeace · 03-20-2006, 08:49 PM

thanks tammie

i'm treading water here and know i need a meeting know in my heart Steps are the way to move forward and always(on purpose?) something comes up. i guess i just need to kick myself in the rear end and go. sending warm wishes your way and good thoughts to help strenghen your recovery

2stop · 03-20-2006, 08:55 PM

I know it is hard....
I don't work a 12 step program myself....have received good advice that I use from 12 step folks, though.....I use a lil bit of everything! LOL........it has worked well so far for me..........I say find what works and work it like your life depends on it!

Hope you have a good night. I need to get to bed....have a doctors appoinment tomorrow...finding out about some blood tests.......dreading it. I know how it sucks to be sick and in recovery. Really tough some days. Thoughts and prayers will be with you.

(((((((((((((Angels on Your Pillow)))))))))

seekingpeace · 03-20-2006, 08:59 PM

well sweet dreams i will pray for your health and sanity (waiting is an art i have yet to learn) i need to go to sleep as well. hope to hear from you again.(((((hugs back)))))

**51anna** · 03-20-2006, 09:51 PM

Hi Seekingpeace,

Welcome and I'm so glad you found us. I have found a lot of strength and knowledge from the women on this forum and I know you will too.

I know how scary it must be for you to face the challenge of dealing with hep c.

"This if from Naomi Judd's site where she has some great info on hep c:

Stay calm and be positive. Realize you're embarking on a journey. Remember, you are not alone. One in every 50 Americans are also infected and over 170 million worldwide. Thousands of Americans still are walking around undiagnosed.

Besides taking the drug combination Interferon and Ribavarin (and possibly an anti-depressant), you should reevaluate your diet, start sleeping until your body wakes up on its own, and figure out how to simplify and slow down your lifestyle. I know full well the minute you get diagnosed that not only are you physically ill, but your mind is overwhelmed too. Because of how the disease process affects your thinking, new fear and uncertainty, plus side effects of medication, most patients get depressed. I took an anti-depressant and urge you to ask for help too. You need to get your emotions under control so you can deal with this new challenge."

Keep posting.

***indigo*** · 03-21-2006, 02:49 AM

Welcome you're in the right place lots of ESH, friendship, love and support and nobody will judge you, keep on posting.

tool · 03-21-2006, 12:29 PM

hi seekingpeace,

I can't pretend to understand what it's must be like for you? I have a recent ex-boyfriend of six yrs. who was a herion addict, and has recently found out he has hep.C, I know he's having a hard time coming to terms with it, and I worry about him all the time. I hope you find coming to S.R. helpful, and I will keep you in my prayers! hang in there!

degnabbit · 03-26-2006, 01:28 PM

Hi Welcome To Sr.
Just Some Advise....get A Sponsor, Work The Steps, And Help Those Who Are Still Suffering.
Although This Is A Great Place For Support I Have Found That Without Doing The Advise Of The Program, My Life Wouldn't Have As Much Serenity In It As It Does Now.
The Book Tells Us:
Rarely Have We Seen A Person Fail Who Has Thoroughly Followed Our Path.
I Have Been Following The Path Of The People Before Me And As Long As I Stick With The Winners, Trust In God And Clean House, I Think I Will Be Sober One More Day. Because This Is How We Do This Program, One Day At A Time. I Was Told To Do It Or Die. I Had The Willingness To Change My Life And Live It On Lifes Terms. I No Longer Blame Everyone For The Things I Have Created In My Life. Today, I Must Take Action And Have The Willingness To Do So, Because Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes. And If You Don't Understand Any Of This....well You Will....if You Get A Sponsor, Work The Steps, And Helps Those Who Are Still Suffering.
Take Care And May God Bless You.....

aasharon90 · 03-26-2006, 02:04 PM

Welcome seekingpeace. You are in my thoughts and prayers as u continue on ur journey. My name is Sharon and I'm an Alcoholic here in Houston. I got sober back in Baton Rouge some 15 yrs. ago after spending 28 days in Rehab. While drinking I did alot of things I was ashamed of and things that hurt others. After I got sober I too went to get a blood test to determine if I picked up any diseases outside my marriage. Sure i was soooo scared then, because I thought I was being very careful to take care of myself. While I was drinking I didn't think about those I would and could have hurt. The lives or relationships i could have destoyed. Today I am still learning to forgive myself for the past and to not keep beating myself up over this disease. With the help of our wonderful program, the people in these rooms and the fellowship in those face to face meetings, you can always know that you don't ever have to face anything alone again. There's lots of good sobriety here to take what u want and leave the rest to guide u. Don't hesitate to ask for what u want or need here.

Thanks for letting me share. Love and care.

seekingpeace · 03-26-2006, 06:40 PM

hey everyone! just wanted to let everyone know i'm still clean and plugging along. i don't get too many chances to be online. i'm so tired lately...probably depression ect. i start a new after care program on wed. so hopefully things will be better. i was planning on going to a meeting on monday but my sitter backed out tryin' to figure something else out. the sponser i had when i started all this happened to come through my work and told me to call her. i feel bad about it though cause i just dropped off the face of the earth and kind of abandoned her while she was struggling ( i think). i go and get my biopsy (don't know if i spelled that right) on wed. and then i guess we'll see if i can go on that interferon. thank you for all the support! i really appreciate it. and the advice...my ears are open i am listening. tha!nk you

degnabbit · 03-27-2006, 09:12 AM

Good Job Seekingpeace....
Please keep us all informed on how things are going.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Kahlia · 03-27-2006, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seekingpeace

hey everyone! just wanted to let everyone know i'm still clean and plugging along. i don't get too many chances to be online. i'm so tired lately...probably depression ect. i start a new after care program on wed. so hopefully things will be better. i was planning on going to a meeting on monday but my sitter backed out tryin' to figure something else out. the sponser i had when i started all this happened to come through my work and told me to call her. i feel bad about it though cause i just dropped off the face of the earth and kind of abandoned her while she was struggling ( i think). i go and get my biopsy (don't know if i spelled that right) on wed. and then i guess we'll see if i can go on that interferon. thank you for all the support! i really appreciate it. and the advice...my ears are open i am listening. tha!nk you

Seeking Peace-I take Beta Seron-A form of Interferon, I have Multiple Sclerosis. Just diagnosed. BE glad you have found out that you have HepC. That you are not out there-sick. I was sick and had no clue as to what was going on and I am a NURSE!!!! We are the worst!!! Do whatever you need to do for YOU and be healthy, take a walk, BUT take some time just for YOU. It will help, it helps you think about what you need to do next, your next move, so to speak. I am wishing you all the good thoughts I can and hoping that you get the interferon, it has side effects such as flu like symptoms...I know, I have them. You take Tylenol before you even take the med...it will help a LOT. It is a small price to pay for YOUR life.....I am praying for you....PEACE......Kahlia

03-20-2006, 08:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
seekingpeace Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England Posts: 8	tired fighter hello everyone! i am new at this and not very good with computers so i hope this comes out ok. i am recovering herion user who will b sober for 1 yr next month. i have not been to a meeting in like 9 months. i go to an after care program once a week but it is run very poorly and is mostly just frustrating. i really need the support of my sister addicts. i try to be grateful for the things i have because i am not using but life does continue on and i am really getting tired of picking myself up and dusting myself off after every curve ball life throws. the last straw has been finding out i am pos. for hep c (still waiting on results of other tests) this is very scary for me as cure sounds almost worse then disease. i wonder how i will hold down a job and take care of my child while battling this and everything else that comes with being an addict. if anyone out there has tales of strength/hope to help me through this i appreciate you thank you for listening

03-20-2006, 08:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	Welcome to SR! I am sooo glad you are here. I hope you will stay and get to know us better. There is lots of hope and strength and good friendship here. I too was a 'tired fighter' when stumbling upon this site...I was an opiate addict for about 20 yrs. Been clean about 2 years now...almost. Never ever thought I could make it. I am so sorry to hear you have tested pos for hep c. You will definitely be in my prayers. You and your child. Hang in there, k? Maybe try and make it to a meeting? Might help. Others will be along shortly to offer ES&H. (((((((((((Warm, comforting hugs)))))))))))))))) __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

03-20-2006, 08:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	I know it is hard.... I don't work a 12 step program myself....have received good advice that I use from 12 step folks, though.....I use a lil bit of everything! LOL........it has worked well so far for me..........I say find what works and work it like your life depends on it! Hope you have a good night. I need to get to bed....have a doctors appoinment tomorrow...finding out about some blood tests.......dreading it. I know how it sucks to be sick and in recovery. Really tough some days. Thoughts and prayers will be with you. (((((((((((((Angels on Your Pillow))))))))) __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

03-20-2006, 09:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	Hi Seekingpeace, Welcome and I'm so glad you found us. I have found a lot of strength and knowledge from the women on this forum and I know you will too. I know how scary it must be for you to face the challenge of dealing with hep c. "This if from Naomi Judd's site where she has some great info on hep c: Stay calm and be positive. Realize you're embarking on a journey. Remember, you are not alone. One in every 50 Americans are also infected and over 170 million worldwide. Thousands of Americans still are walking around undiagnosed. Besides taking the drug combination Interferon and Ribavarin (and possibly an anti-depressant), you should reevaluate your diet, start sleeping until your body wakes up on its own, and figure out how to simplify and slow down your lifestyle. I know full well the minute you get diagnosed that not only are you physically ill, but your mind is overwhelmed too. Because of how the disease process affects your thinking, new fear and uncertainty, plus side effects of medication, most patients get depressed. I took an anti-depressant and urge you to ask for help too. You need to get your emotions under control so you can deal with this new challenge." Keep posting. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

03-21-2006, 02:49 AM	#7 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,146	Welcome you're in the right place lots of ESH, friendship, love and support and nobody will judge you, keep on posting. __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

03-20-2006, 08:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
seekingpeace Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England Posts: 8	thanks tammie i'm treading water here and know i need a meeting know in my heart Steps are the way to move forward and always(on purpose?) something comes up. i guess i just need to kick myself in the rear end and go. sending warm wishes your way and good thoughts to help strenghen your recovery

03-20-2006, 08:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
seekingpeace Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England Posts: 8	well sweet dreams i will pray for your health and sanity (waiting is an art i have yet to learn) i need to go to sleep as well. hope to hear from you again.(((((hugs back)))))

03-21-2006, 12:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
tool crazed & dazed Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: maine Posts: 28	hi seekingpeace, I can't pretend to understand what it's must be like for you? I have a recent ex-boyfriend of six yrs. who was a herion addict, and has recently found out he has hep.C, I know he's having a hard time coming to terms with it, and I worry about him all the time. I hope you find coming to S.R. helpful, and I will keep you in my prayers! hang in there!

03-26-2006, 01:28 PM	#9 (permalink)
degnabbit Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: San Jose , CA Posts: 33	Hi Welcome To Sr. Just Some Advise....get A Sponsor, Work The Steps, And Help Those Who Are Still Suffering. Although This Is A Great Place For Support I Have Found That Without Doing The Advise Of The Program, My Life Wouldn't Have As Much Serenity In It As It Does Now. The Book Tells Us: Rarely Have We Seen A Person Fail Who Has Thoroughly Followed Our Path. I Have Been Following The Path Of The People Before Me And As Long As I Stick With The Winners, Trust In God And Clean House, I Think I Will Be Sober One More Day. Because This Is How We Do This Program, One Day At A Time. I Was Told To Do It Or Die. I Had The Willingness To Change My Life And Live It On Lifes Terms. I No Longer Blame Everyone For The Things I Have Created In My Life. Today, I Must Take Action And Have The Willingness To Do So, Because Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes. And If You Don't Understand Any Of This....well You Will....if You Get A Sponsor, Work The Steps, And Helps Those Who Are Still Suffering. Take Care And May God Bless You..... __________________ "My peace I give you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." -John 14:27

03-26-2006, 02:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
aasharon90 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Baton Rouge, La. Posts: 2,726	Welcome seekingpeace. You are in my thoughts and prayers as u continue on ur journey. My name is Sharon and I'm an Alcoholic here in Houston. I got sober back in Baton Rouge some 15 yrs. ago after spending 28 days in Rehab. While drinking I did alot of things I was ashamed of and things that hurt others. After I got sober I too went to get a blood test to determine if I picked up any diseases outside my marriage. Sure i was soooo scared then, because I thought I was being very careful to take care of myself. While I was drinking I didn't think about those I would and could have hurt. The lives or relationships i could have destoyed. Today I am still learning to forgive myself for the past and to not keep beating myself up over this disease. With the help of our wonderful program, the people in these rooms and the fellowship in those face to face meetings, you can always know that you don't ever have to face anything alone again. There's lots of good sobriety here to take what u want and leave the rest to guide u. Don't hesitate to ask for what u want or need here. Thanks for letting me share. Love and care. __________________ "A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED" SHARON M. Baton Rouge, La. 8-11-90 "Made A Decision To Turn My Will And Life Over To The Care Of God As I Understand Him."

03-26-2006, 06:40 PM	#11 (permalink)
seekingpeace Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England Posts: 8	still fighting hey everyone! just wanted to let everyone know i'm still clean and plugging along. i don't get too many chances to be online. i'm so tired lately...probably depression ect. i start a new after care program on wed. so hopefully things will be better. i was planning on going to a meeting on monday but my sitter backed out tryin' to figure something else out. the sponser i had when i started all this happened to come through my work and told me to call her. i feel bad about it though cause i just dropped off the face of the earth and kind of abandoned her while she was struggling ( i think). i go and get my biopsy (don't know if i spelled that right) on wed. and then i guess we'll see if i can go on that interferon. thank you for all the support! i really appreciate it. and the advice...my ears are open i am listening. tha!nk you

03-27-2006, 09:12 AM	#12 (permalink)
degnabbit Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: San Jose , CA Posts: 33	Good Job Seekingpeace.... Please keep us all informed on how things are going. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. __________________ "My peace I give you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." -John 14:27

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