355 Days-and NOW the cravings start?

[Trina]

I'm not even sure they are cravings, or this sneaky, cunning disease making sure I don't get too comfortable in my sobriety. But the last few days, I have been hit hard with those thoughts that come out of left field "I could have a glass of wine. Right here on the sundeck, middle of the afternoon, like everyone else. No problem". My rational mind does take over and snorts "in your dreams. Like you EVER had ONE glass of wine. You know if you take one drink, one single drink, you are going back down that road again..that sick making, twisted, expensive, body bloating road again...really want that?"

Accompanying those thoughts are these wild drinking dreams that I haven't had before. I had drinking dreams in my earlier sobriety, but not at the intensity of these recent ones where I wake up feeling guilty for having drank, and then realizing it was just a dream. A bad one, but just a dream.

My sponsor is out of town and unreachable for a while. The meetings I have gone to have been filled with newcomers and treatment centre guests, so I've been reluctant to say anything (they are big meetings, and you have to fight your way to the podium). I have been reading my Big Book and that brings me some comfort, but I thought I would ask if anyone else had felt these things so close to their one year mark?

[51anna]

Hi Trina,

I do think your mind is playing with you. I've been sober 5 1/2 yrs and every so often, the thought 'oh I could have one glass of wine' goes through my head. It's a crazy notion and I know it. It's never really been a problem though. I do know that I have to work every day to stay comfortable on this journey.

Hang in there.

[Justme57]

Hi there trina

Oh! yes , I so relate to what you are going through. It happened to me , at almost 1 year sober, and like you , i was stunned. The dreams , and not exactly cravings ( haven thad cravings for ages) but a general RID feeling. My Sponser suggested to e that it was triggered by my excitement and anticipation of achieving 1 whole year of sobriety, and for me , it was also the fact that i had an unfullfilled expectation regarding my family, which deep down, I had yet to let go of, so we worked on that as well.

i hate to tell you , but " This too shall pass" LOL

Hang in the trina

HUGX
Lee

[prairierose]

What you're going through sounds alot like pre-anniversary jitters. I get them, to a certain degree, but the first year was by far the most profound, every year. This year I kept having dreams that I had used at some point in the past six years, making me wake up in a panic thinking that I didn't have as much time as I actually do.

It comes from a combination of the alcoholic mind and plain old low self esteem. It's hard to fathom that the milestone is possible, so these factors try to undermine the importance of it or sabotage it before it happens.

Keep touching base with this forum and enjoy your next twenty four.

Virginia

[indigo]

You're going to be ok Trina, don't listen to the addiction speaking we are always here for you.

[sissie]

355 days?? And you are craving? I have used just about everything for 33 years and have 42 days of clean and sober as of today!!! But this day is the day that I just do not understand. My feeling and craving are getting me all at once. I can not think I feel so confused. I have gain so much weight it is unreal. What to do? I have to fight this feeling but it is so hard.I am about to go crazy.