another drop off

[myles1]

Hi Group,
I came home from my noon meeting today and A had dropped off some more innocuous stuff that he could just as easily pitch into the garbage.

It's just to aggravate me and get me to break down and call him.

Ngaire

[zoomer]

Hey N at least you know what he is trying to do! ug my ex gave us some deer meat that he killed to sort of appoligise because I told him how I felt not too long ago. I threw the stuff out! One I don't trust him and two I could not eat bambi meat if I tried. I did once and felt so guilty! **** I swear here I am writing about bambi and I have deers on my TV! Spooky! I'm watchin Home funniest vidios. swear that happends a lot! maybe it's that I hear it and then it reminds me of stuff Ha, i'm in a strange mood bcause I actually could cry tonight! If it's trash, throw it out! And it' OK to be sad too about your guy.
Zoomer

[myles1]

Thanks Zoomer because that's what I've been this week about it.......sad.

Ngaire

[zoomer]

Hey N, I feel up and down at the moment,but I actually cried lastnight! Felt real good too! I guess when I stoped being angry or finding things to be angry about,I could actually feel sad and sorry about the situation. To be honest, I can look back and see all the good stuff about my past relationships. I can still say "I would not trust my ex (s) as far as I could throw them", but there must have been some good there for me to get involved with them. The way how I feel today about my abusive ex is what a waist and so much hurt on both parts,but if he pulled some stuff again, I'd remember all the bad stuff all at once to protect myself from hurt.
Zoomer

[myles1]

Hi Zoomer,

When I get to sentimental that's what I
ve been doing, remembering wierd, abusive stuff, like the time he got mad at me because I didn't butter his roll when I was serving supper to HIS parents and then refused to eat his pie because he had to come to the counter to get it, I didn't take it to him.

I had just spent the day making a turkey with stuffing, a scratch lemon meringue oie and home made bread along with the trimmings and did the cleaning to have his parents over. You'd think instead of focussing on himself like that he may have said "Do you need a hand with anything"?

But no of course not.

Myles is nine and he knows enough to butter his own bread, get his pie if he has to and he'll even clear the table without me asking.

Just a vent.

Ngaire

[zoomer]

Hey it's OK to vent! I do it all the time I'm lik sort of on the "black list", so you may not want to um assoiate with me,but I'm glad to talk I guess I'm at the point tonight anyway where I'm not angry at what the ex(s) have done. Ha, my ex tought I should serve big meals every night, so I said to him "if ya wanted a gormay meal every night,then you should have married Betty Crocker"! Well, everything I ever said and did or did't do got put in the divore papers. He made me look so bad and such a horrible mother that I was shocked and the worst part was I was too poor and too afraid to fight back. AND Ihad too many points against me anyway. My son broke a glass on the floor and I swept i up,but I guess I missed a small peice because his foot found it. My friend and I rushed my son to her brothers house had his wife who was a nurse look at it,she then put a butterfly bandaid on it because she felt it was not deep enough for stiches. In the divorse papers he wrote that I never cleaned the house and He had to rush my son to the doctors! Ha, I had to have the house spotless or he would yell,plus we were renting at the time, and they had people coming by to look at it because they were trying to sell it! I'm not angry, just remembering and it's OK. Now Icould see little bits and peices of his nice self, but the bad out weighed the good and that'swhat I have to remember.
Zoomer

[myles1]

Yesterday morning on his way to work he drove by my house and blew his horn and then last night when I was at my friends house he drove by. All that does is confuse the hell out of me. I spent all night having dreams about him.

Ngaire

[zoomer]

Hey N in your dreams,did ya do everything you wanted to that you could not in real life? It's normal to dream because he triggered your emotions by driving by.
Zoomer

[Peacefulpie]

My friend,

This is not meant to scare you...
but please be careful.
Sometimes when a controling person can't let go they turn into a stalker, harmless at first but as time goes by and they become upset because you have yet gave them power they turn into something ugly. so please just stay alert.

[zoomer]

Pie is right! Ugh I had this one friend and she was a stalker. It was like watching a movie with her doingwhat she did. I was afraid to upset her because she could be dangerous to those who crossed her. I'm glad she moved! If we had things to do and my daughter could not play with hers,she would drive by to see if were home. I always felt guilty and it was getting to the point that I felt trapped in that friendship. Ugh her ex committed suiside and she actually asked for the gun he shot himself with so she could (well,hell i don't know what was on her mind),but I begged her not to let her little girl see the gun. She also brought in the bed he died on and stored it in her dining room. When I walked in,her daughter was actually using it as a play slide. Um I had fits! She was not a well woman,so Pie is right becarful.
Zoomer