Lesson in letting go

[tigergirl]

I am going to go through a major lesson in letting go.

A man I love but haven't had a relationship with other than very close friendship( a few missed occasions) is going to move to another continent,I'm dying inside but am being very brave about it- so I think;however, I'm isolating which is not good.

I am using all the tools I can and am trying so hard to let go and encourage him to fly-he's an artist. There's nothing for him here-I have tried to talk to him about it but he seems to be avoiding it. I don't want to be clingy and dependant.

It's so hard when you love someone-it sems to be everytime I fall in love the person leaves.

I just needed to share this and am looking very hard not to relapse.

Tiger

[Peacefulpie]

(((((((Tiger)))))))))


Allow your self to go through the process of grief... Cry... write... Share.... Give yourself a time limit... Like say ok I will grieve his absence for 7 days... feel the feelings then after the aloted time get back to living. I have found that works for me and allows the process of letting go not so traumatic.

[myles1]

Tiger,

No relationship is worth a relapse. Hang in.

Ngaire

[Lauren1961]

Tiger,
Wow, I really understand about the relationship thing. A man I was with for 17 yrs ended it, he was a good friend and a great help in my sobrity. ANd let me tell you "Letting Go" can be hard it's a process and sometimes a long one. Someone suggested journaling, cry,talk, cuddle you teddy bear (mine is a old stuffed dog ) . People don't always know what to say, but at least some know how to listen. Don't let relapsing be an option, nothing is worth that, especially not a man or anything. Belive me I have to tell myself that daily (and I've been sober awhile) Take care of you and talk here. ANd thank you for helping me today.

LAUREN :shades:

[DolphinBlue]

Hi Tiger,

I can kind of relate. I was involved with someone I had to let go of and although it wasn't for very long, it was very intense and we got to know eachother quite well.

Anyway, this is going to sound crazy, but I washed him right outa my hair. Yep, it worked. I just gathered all of those obsessive thoughts (great when shampooing, but I just did it with water sometimes) and let the water wash them away and watched it go down the drain. It didn't work for a while, but I persisted and one day, a couple of weeks later, I realised I couldn't stand his annoying habits anymore. Actually I think this guy is quite special and I don't want to be annoyed by him, but the obsession is gone. I think this is letting go. This was a breakthrough, it used to take me years to get over someone.

Please don't relapse over this.

DolphinBlue

[tigergirl]

that part of loving someone is to be able to see them as a seperate person and to see that there soul must grow. That if you really love someone, let them go , bla-bla;what was that song by Sting?Okay, but another continent? I have to see why I pick these guys who always leave-I'm problay frightened of being absorbed by another person myself. Boundary problems.

Thanks for all you replies and I'm reading them trying to find my way outta this.

Dolphin-I went a step further.I cut all my hair off-how's that for drama?



Anyway, I have to go to more meetings-stay healthy-not cry-not obsess.Let go,let go,letgo.That this is a part of the grand design.....

Blessings to all

Tiger