Eight days

[sieglindek]

Hello, friends.

I had my last drink Sunday the 22nd of December until I graduate (about six months).

I feel like some recovering folks might not be able to relate to what I am doing, setting a time when I can drink again.

I suppose the main reason I am choosing to face my dependence in this way is because for years I have been thinking about giving myself a month to "detox" from alcohol, cigarettes and coffee. Instead, I would find myself ignoring my better judgment about drinking and failing twice in attempts to go a week without drinking. But at this point, I have one semester (the unit of time with the most meaning to me currently) of not smoking cigarettes under my belt and I am feeling new strength and conviction. I also have these numbers of the money I saved and the number of cartons I would have smoked ($250 and 10) and I have taken heart from that. So I guess what I am saying is I am using all of the tools in my toolbox right now to do this confrontation of myself.

My number one goal in doing this is to feel saner. This means, first, not doing what I know I shouldn't , just shrugging off my better judgment. But it also means learning new ways to deal with stress and new ways to reward/relax since that is the primary motivation to have a beer for me usually. This period of abstinence is a way to give myself permission to grow, even if it's awkward and I feel unsure of myself at times. I have been taking a walk every day since Thursday and have to sort out how to give myself permission to do that (time and attention away from other things and people). I have been around drinks all week and have realized that a certain amount of satisfaction comes from the fancy glasses the drinks are in. So I had a Fresca in a champagne glass. I am having problems with overeating even more this week. however, so I can see I am going to have to work something out with myself there. Anyway, that stuff is the growing I am referring to.

I really don't want anyone to feel like I am making light of the choice/requirement to never ever drink again. I do not rule out that possibility myself, I am just not ready to say "I am powerless over alcohol" until I give myself a chance to rule out "bad habits" and "bad attitude" as my problem.

I welcome folks to share similar or different perspectives about quitting alcohol.

[zoomer]

hey, S-tawanda! I feel that nothing a person does to better themselves is a waisted effert! (exsuse the sp)! You go girl! I find that here you can be who you are and what you do to improve your life is what "recovery" is all about no matter how and what you are recovering from!
Zoomer

[Fergie]

No one will judge you, you need to do what works for you. For me I'm not going to think ahead for more then the moment right now, because for me when I start thinking about days, months...forever, I think myself right to my next drink! I can only handle not drinking this minute....that's how small I need to make it right now.

I can relate to alot of what you said.....Overeating, yep, I do that.

Taking walks and living a healthier lifestyle is a great habit. I use the walking also when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Yep, all those cool glasses, I agree, I love em!! Especially, filled with alchohol, I can look so together in front of people. But, to tell the truth I'll take it right out of the bottle, when no one is looking!!! (now that's a pretty site)

I also want to have some sanity in my life today.

Thanks for sharing with me, it helps me to know I'm not alone anymore.