Marriage is for BABIES

[MamaGoose]

IMHO
Marriage is for those of childbearing years who wish to have children.
After that I can't see it. I think eveyone should just live in their own little houses and have dates when they want to but then go back to their own homes.

Look at the divorce rate. And there are so many unhappily married people who won't divorce. How many married couples are truly happy? How many people are hurting the ones they profess to love? Is it possible to be truly happy as a couple? How many people are married to their soulmates?

I'm at the point where I don't want to share the remote and I like myself for company.

Opinions?

[pmaslan]

I am starting to feel that way myself.....just couldn't bring myself to admit it
until now.....

[BigSis]

I think that creating a safe atmosphere to raise children IS the primary motivation behind marriage, but...

I see, in successful marriages, a growth and a CHANGE in the relationship that brings about a richer, deeper love than can be attained by dating and running home everytime we have conflicts. Being forced to live with the person we sometimes hate changes US and it changes THEM.

If we both don't change and grow - in generally the same direction - then I agree that divorce might be a better solution.

But to replace the liftetime commitment with occassional overnights does not seem like a fair trade. If I do that, I think I will miss out on something more wonderful.

[51anna]

I agree with BigSis.

I do enjoy being alone now that the children have grown and left. But, I think the purpose of marriage is not just to raise children. It is to learn and to grow and to follow our soul's path. It takes the deepest of relationships to be able to accomplish this. And, I still have a lot to learn!

[BlueMoon]

Is it possible to be truly happy as a couple?
Yes! My AH and I were very happy for 12 yrs.

How many people are married to their soulmates?
I was. The relationship IS over now, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.


Blessings,
Blue

[ODAT]

My mother is 67 years of age and is marrying her best friend and soul mate sometime this summer.

I am very happy for her.

After putting up with my Dad for 35 years and then being on her own for 10 to 15 years I think she has earned the right to a posative relationship experience. And for her that means marriage.

Certainly, I'm sure there will be times when she can't stand him. But, then, the program teaches us to look in the mirror when there is something about someone else that is bothering us. Certainly she is over the child-bearing years. But, she is still young enough to enjoy life and to make the choice to enjoy that life on her own or with another.

From where I sit, there are many more benefits to being married than simply that of raising children together. Certainly a decent amount of time by oneself is also a good thing--helps one to realize that marriage is an option--but only an option and not a necessity.

I support her choice and wish her and her fiance all the happiness in the world. If anyone deserves it, it is she.

[best]

I just turned 50 last week. My wife will turn....Ok won't tell her age...but we will be the same in 2 days *LOL*
I have been married 30 years. Four children, the youngest is now 23.

The past 5 years have been the best 5 years of all 30 years I have been married.

[best]

Originally Posted by BigSis

But to replace the liftetime commitment with occassional overnights does not seem like a fair trade.

and with STDs it sure wouldn't make for a safe trade either.

[exzim]

After being married for 17 years and now single for 10 years, my preference would be to have a commited relationship. But we live in different houses - perhaps next door or down the street from each other. I need my space - but I do miss a significant other in my life. I also really like to be able to have purple sheets if I want - and not to have to wrestle the remote from my partner!

As for the issue of STD's - plenty of married people cheat and the threat of STD's does not disappear when people are married. Perhaps the issue here is how commited two people are to each other in their relationship whether they are married or not.

Maggie

[dollydo]

I have been married three times, two for over 18 years...one died, I divorced 2...

If I had to do it over, I would have never married. I never wanted children, I never had children...I was a career woman...there was no point to me being married.. Both long term marriages were to boozers, a nightmare...

I don't hate men, I just don't like how they operate, too self centered for me.

Dolly

[CarolD]

I have loved and been loved and in love and out of love all my life.

And...
I had 7 'soul mates' along my way.

As I matured and changed...so did my choices in men.

I absolutely can say that I found marriage b-o-r-i-n-g.
I have been happily divorced 40 years.

IMO...marriage was begun to protect the property and assets of a group/clan/ tribe.
It also gave women the security needed as they had no way to earn. It has been sucessful.
The concept of love in a marriage is Western and only anout 100 years old.

[Paulie]

Pssst Best....you are in WIR, I will let it slide this time

Hmm this is interesting. I got married when I was 18 for about 30 seconds. Seriously.

Then I just got married again in 2004 at 40 years old, no kids of my own, 2 step kids that live with their mother. We go married because today we live a sober clean life and we believe that sharing that life in the eyes of God meant marriage for us. We had lived together like 9 years or something when he asked me to marry him. We already had the house, heck I even got he ring in 1998. But since getting married our relationship has grown even stronger and closer, for us it took our level of committment even deeper. that does not mean I dont believe in living together, I believe that is very important first.

To answer your question, I know ALOT of happily married people. And I know alot of divorced people and alot of unhappily married people. I think today people say I love you and rush off to get married before getting to know the person.

We all have the right to our own opinion, I truly believe that. And if you don't want to share the remote that is just fine that is your choice. Just maybe look at why you don't want to share it.

Soul mate, hmmm that has always confused me. Like someone said, I had a few soul mates over the years . My H is the man I wake up with and share everyday with. And that is good enough for me.