broken heart - time to let go?

[hopealwayz]

I talked to a friend of mine yesterday and was deeply hurt and I am questioning whether I should end this friendship or not. He said some very hurtful things. He told me that he felt like I was entrapping him into hanging out with me. I asked him what he meant. He said that he didn't know why it took me 15-20 minutes to tell him what is going on in my life. Sometimes, it just takes me a little longer to find the right words to talk to him about things that are going on.... and he feels like it is just a way of getting him to spend more time with me.

I have never tried to do that to him. He also said a few other hurtful things to me.

He is pushing all of the blame to me. I have always been there for him and I have tried to be patient with him through his fits of anger and mood swings but I don't want to get hurt anymore.

I think that it may be best if I move on now instead of being a doormat for his inner rage.

My heart aches now.

[Soul Catcher]

Oh my.....if I had a nickel for every friend I had to say "see ya" too. It's life. Sometimes people are just not compatible, no biggie. Move on and find friends that are. Friends should not make you feel quilty for anything. Good luck. Your better then that.

[Rowan]

Hi Hope
I can understand why you're taking this so hard. As women, we tend to put a lot of ourselves into our relationships with others. I don't know how long you have known your friend, and if this is a recent turn of events, but maybe just take some time to think and pray on it and wait for the answer. Maybe you don't need to 'end' the relationship, maybe you just need to share differently with him. It sounds like he is not a very good listener. Maybe he just doesn't know how deeply he hurt you. Some people just don't realize the power of words.
Take good care of you.
Rowan xo

[hopealwayz]

We went out and saw a movie and then had lunch.
He apologized for saying hurtful things.
We had a long talk. I do care about him.

[Rowan]

Glad you're getting along and he apologized ((HUGS))

[Sheryl85]

When I read what you had written I just felt compelled to write.

I sometimes have to stop and remember that things develop and affect other people as much as they do me. I know I can’t always expect the other people in my life not to have problems, irritations, or just plain sucky days where they take it out on me or others, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Also, maybe they aren’t in recovery and are one of those regular “earth” people that are just winging it. (I feel so lucky to be in recovery and have something I can look to toward to give me guidance.)

Let me ask you something, what is it that you are expecting from a friendship? Is it to be an equal arrangement? Mine never are. If I truly do care for that person, I have to remember to practice that which I would want for myself… unconditional love. You did the right thing by talking to him and letting him know you were hurt. Having a dialog with a friend is indispensable to a “healthy” relationship.

Think long and hard before ending any friendship. I had to terminate one that had been in effect for over 30 years because it had become unhealthy for the both of us. Jealousy, suspicion, unrealistic expectations, and problems with lopsided input/effort had made it necessary for me to reevaluate the relationship and decide (with prayer and counseling) that it was time to move on. To remove myself totally from the picture was one of the most painful experiences of my life. (I think it hurt more than a divorce.) I’m better today, but I will always have a missing piece of my heart that that person occupied.

Like I said, I’m glad things worked out for you. Just keep on working on your part of the relationship. Make sure that you did not have a part in the negative situations and if you did play some role, spot, admit, and correct it.

Good luck in the future and have a great day!