Make it stop..

[KcCrystal]

I've started a really bad habbit. And it's sends me into such a spiral of hate & depression. I get stressed or angry, and I'll make a small scratch on my arm.. I've never done this till recently.. All these new emotions, and stressers are getting to me.. I had to call my Therapist yesterday and talk to her about this habbit.. I'm dealing with a dog with possiable hip displysa. A ferret with terminal cancer.. A family who really doesn't understand my feelings towards my pets.. They'd rather me put them down, then spend extra money on them.. But they're my life. I feel so helpless seeing them in pain/sick.. I just want to make it all better. Yesterday I screamed at my grandma for telling me I was overweight. I know I'm overweight, stop harping on it.. So I scratched my arm.. I don't know. I'm really stressed out..

Make the bleeding stop
Make the pain go away
Force me to face
My inner demons
Make me change
My Life

[Paulie]

Crystal -

I used to do that when I was younger. I would scrach my arm right below my elbow until I made it bleed, that was in high school and right after high school, when I started using more and more I stopped, refocused my energy causing pain to myself with drugs instead I guess.

It is good that you are talking about and that you are talking to your therapist, keep talking, keeping it inside kills our spirit.

I know it is rough living with a family that you feel is unsupportive, but that means that you have to reach out for support in other ways, like you do here.

Your animals mean alot to you, I am an animal lover to who spends to much money keeping my cat on blood pressure medicine, trust me I understand.

Just keep doing the next right thing, wake up everyday and make a decision to do the next right thing, to work a plan to change the situation that you are in.
As long as we are doing the footwork, it wil happen.

[51anna]

Crystal, you're going to be ok. I wonder if you have a plan in mind to be able to get a place of your own. I think it might make you feel better if you knew you would be able to be on your own in the not too distant future.

I'm also going through a really difficult time with a pet right now and have great sympathy and understanding for you and what you're going through with your pets.

[KcCrystal]

Well I have been working to get out on my own.. But the vet bills have me tied up right now. But I am working a second job.. So maybe I can get more money to save up and finally find an apartment.. And find one that'll take 2 large dogs, 4 ferrets, 2 birds, and a 15yr old rescued cat..

[UrbanFool]

Y'know what? My grandmother told me I was fat once, too. It was pretty horrifying. I realize I gained over a hundred pounds, but everyone else in the world kind of ignored it. Grandmothers don't I guess. I'd ignore that one. I think once you get to a certain age, you don't care if you're really rude. I spent well over $1500 on my diabetic cat before the vet managed to kill her. Last I heard, he was in Arizona working for PetSmart. Good for him. At this moment I can't remember his name, but believe me, I'll tell anyone what it is and tell them to stay far, far away. It was an odd name.

Are you actually scratching or cutting? I can't tell from your post. I know I get hives and rashes when I'm really upset and don't know if that's the same thing that's happening with you. But it's so temporary for me that I can't even fathom mentioning it, so I feel like it's a bigger problem for you.

Good that you're talking to your therapist and frankly, a LOT of people just don't get the pet thing. Mine are my kids. FIDS. Feathered and Furred Kids.

Kelly

[boop64132]

Crystal,
Im so sorry that this is still going on with them.
The whole name calling thing just irritates me to no end!
Hang in there GF and remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you
will reach it!
You know that I love ya and anytime you want to talk...just let me know.

And guess what?? Im moving back to KC very very soon (Tuesday) and maybe we can finally meet!