Whoops! I did it again

[Rowan]

*Sigh*

Tonight I was supposed to go to a Gratitude dinner with my bf but I decided to stay home instead (PMS, sore back, feeling phobic) and have spent most of the day crying instead. My bf and I had words because he thought I was behaving irrationally (crying jag, anyone?) and that I should be able to control it. I'm TIRED of turning off my feelings. So he's gone and I'm here and he'll hold this over my head for screwing up again and blaming it on my dumb hormones. I guess I feel really let down because I've been taking good care of myself i.e. diet and supplements, rest, exercise etc but BAM I got hit with the crazy monster syndrome instead. I feel like I ruin all of our evenings. I'm feeling sorry for myself (can you tell?) but I wanted to share this anyway. I keep telling myself, 'no more hiding, Lynn!'
Yuck I hate feeling like this; like a great big idiot!!

[KelKel]

I had a pretty rough time with the PMS crap this month.

[indigo]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad, stillhormones will be hormones and you are taking care of yourself as you said. Don't feel bad just think of bf when he's feeling sorry for himself (usually for something trivial) and stand your ground.......does he really want you to go out feeling the way you do? a lot of guys would answer "yes" but then gripe all night when you get home because "you didn't even try".....Take care of you because you are the only you, you have. Hell that was a lot of you's. Hope you soon feel on form again.

hugs indie

[51anna]

Hi Rowan,

Hormones are tough to deal with and sometimes it feels like they take a big bite out of your life. But, you are doing everything you can to look after yourself and that's all you can do. I spent many years turning off my feelings because they weren't feelings that my husband wanted to deal with. It led to resentment and resentment is poison.

Can you and your bf have a talk where you explain that you do your best with PMS and could he try to be more patient? Let him know you need his understanding.

[indigo]

I think that some women pander too much to men's.......needs, demands......it is surely possible for women to have ad expect, respect consideration at these times and not permit men to deminish them.

hugs indigo

[Rowan]

I can only speak for myself, but yes I think you're right, Indigo. I'm the one feeling 'out of my mind crazy' and he's the one who flips out, and suddenly the focus is off me and I have to placate him, and apologize for crying and being irrational. I really dislike the patronizing attitude many men (and some women) have towards women, PMS, hormones, and all that. I've talked to my bf many times in an attempt to educate him; it also frustrates me because he sees how hard I am working. But in the end, who am I doing it for? Food for thought; PMS is always worse when I am in a relationship. When I'm alone, my cycles come and go virtually unnoticed, sometimes.
Anna, you're right. Resentment is poison. I'm just going to have to learn to take good care of myself when this happens, even if it means sending him away for a few days. Ideally, that's not the way I want to live my life, or deal with it, but for now, if he can't be supportive, I don't want his lazy butt around here, you know?
Whoa .. I think I touched a nerve .. I'm angry!