Higher Power.

[bikerprincess]

Well an update, and a chance to share an incredible awakening I had tonite. I have known for a long time I was not so much co-dependent because I don't want to control someone elses life, but I DO fight however with ANYONE who wants to control my life. I was raised in a very controlling household and well into my adulthood, my parents controlled me with money because as a single mom of two I have always struggled. Not because I didn't have enough because we always did, but because enough was never enough for me. Kind of a keeping up with the Jones attitude. My parents always had abundance and I could literally SPIT on them for dangling it over our heads that if we live this way...we could have. WELL guess who the rebellious child of the family is.....tough one huh? I had to do it my way. Now let me tell you that it wasn't "of my best interest" to follow my parents advice. They are sucessful but very sick in there thinking and they really enjoyed me being the failure, because then I "needed" them. Well this sick game ended last year, when I walked away from my family, and pretty much said goodbye to my inheritance that my grandaddy gave me when he died. (guess who has CONTROL of it??) Okay so...all this "stuff" made me drink and drink and drink until it became uncontrollable, and now 8 days sober, I went to my second meeting. I looked forward to it all day as all of my buddies are drinkers and I am super social, so I feel like I am a little isolated (Thank God for SR) Anyway tonite started otu just like last night. I went to a meeting place and no one was there. I called my ex "A" and screamed at the top of my lungs, that I know where my drunks are and if I don't find this 8PM meeting...I am going drinking. Even called a friend and asked where they were and told them to have one waiting if I couldn't find the meeting......I found the meeting. I went in and listened. It was a discussion and one gal probably late 40s (I am freshly 40) spoke and "God" said that is your sponsor. It was kind of funny to me because I am not looking yet for a sponsor. I am not willing to allow someone to tell me how to do it. Anyway, I apologized to me ex and I am home now. Who says...wanna make GOD laugh...tell him your plans?

Anne
8 days sober
2 meetings

[Peacefulpie]

Vinnie tells us that....

I am struck by your tempting fate...

Anyway tonite started otu just like last night. I went to a meeting place and no one was there. I called my ex "A" and screamed at the top of my lungs, that I know where my drunks are and if I don't find this 8PM meeting...I am going drinking. Even called a friend and asked where they were and told them to have one waiting if I couldn't find the meeting......I found the meeting.

This time was a freebie.... you were lucky! there are MANY other tools we have when a meeting is not availiable... That is why it is imparitive to get a phone list and call those numbers.. it is imparitive that we meditate.. For the alcoholic has no mental effective defense against the first drink.. I do want to give you BIG snaps on finding a sponsor.... and I do want to tell you I am very proud of your sobriety. and I sure love having you a part of my recovery!

[Paulie]

BP -

Awsome share, thanks. That is how it works...we have to work it.

God spoke and you listened .

I am proud of you...thank you for sharing with us and being a part of our recovery also.