 |
|---|
 |
 |
 |
| | |
|
| |||||||
| Notices |
 |
| | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
10-16-2005, 04:57 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 11,030
|
Rowan, are you ok?? I'm happy to talk menopause if you'd like. You can PM me if you prefer.
__________________ Anna  "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou |
|      |
|
10-16-2005, 05:32 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| To Life!  Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again
Posts: 8,006
|
There are many emotional swings that occure due to the hormonal changes of menopause. If you are experiencing these types of swings, highs or lows, please see your doctor. There is nothing the doctor doesn't know concerning this phase of life. And it IS just another phase of life. It will pass. Let us know how you're doing, ok? We care.... and some of us, like me, have been there!  Shalom!
__________________  |
|
| |
|
10-16-2005, 06:24 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land
Posts: 2,711
|
Hang in there Rowan. It is only temporary. Like we've heard many times in recovery, this too shall pass. (I usually want to punch someone when they say that to me) So, I'll duck just in case. We love you.
__________________  I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. --Anonymous |
|
| |
|
10-16-2005, 06:35 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Social Network Moderator  Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,915
|
Thank you. It's so painful. My doctor wouldn't listen when I told her my symptoms. I'm only 37 which she said is 'too young' but I know my body and this isn't normal I can't die I can't but I want the pain to stop I know that you understand this. I feel such shame that this is happening to me. My boyfriend is coming over but it's pathetic -- he is only coming over because I promised that I wouldn't bug him and would let him sleep. He's usually great and I love him and I guess this has all worn him down. I know he needs to take care of himself too, but I told him I didn't feel safe being alone - I told him last night but he was too tired - so I took many pills. So stupid This HURTS |
|
| |
|
10-16-2005, 06:41 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| On a tear  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,164
|
Rowan - Check out HOTLINE in the white pages of your phone book. They generally have folks on 24/7 to help talk through the worst part. He or she may not have specific background in every physical condition - but pain is something they know. And they don't mind being "woken up". Please keep posting... every bad day eventually ends. This will not last forever and you are not alone.
__________________ No matter how spoiled the past may be, our future is spotless.... BigSis |
|
| |
|
10-16-2005, 06:45 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 11,030
|
Rowan, Darn, I hate it when drs don't listen. I was in complete menopause by age 42 and 37 is not too young to be in premenopause. Really, if your dr won't listen and help, go elsewhere and find one who will. Try talking to a gynecologist. Please do not feel ashamed. This is a normal part of life and if you're having trouble coping right now, there is help. I'm glad your bf is coming over and that you won't be along. Rowan get rid of the pills. You may be tempted to take them again - flush them, ok? Hang in there. You can get through this.
__________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou |
|
| |
|
10-16-2005, 06:59 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,915
|
I finally talked to my sponsor I couldn't reach her - I should have called her much sooner. Yes I will get rid of the pills. Yes I will keep a telephone # handy for suicide prevention etc and yes this too shall pass, I know, but when I'm stuck this dark place I don't know where to go or what to do. The best I can do is to reach out, I guess. I haven't been this bad in some months - I'm scared. I feel so small. Thank you everyone for your kindess it helped. |
|
| |
|
10-16-2005, 07:19 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: centered again
Posts: 8,006
|
Anna is right, Rowan. If the doctor doesn't listen to you, fire her! You deserve to be treated with knowledge, understanding, and compassion. That clearly isn't happening. I began perimenopause by 44. That's considered early too. But, it is what it is. Is this doctor an ob/gyn? If not, get to one. They have the expertise. My regular doc has been handeling my gyn stuff until I had a problem. Then, he handed me over to an ob/gyn. Go with the experts when dealing with anything out of the ordinary. Also, have your regular doctor run some tests to be sure that there is noting else contributing to your emotional pain. For example, a full battery of thyriod tests - NOT the quick one. Thyroid conditions often cause emotional problems. And they are quick and easy to diagnose and treat. So, please do so, asap. Finally, if it's that bad, please consider an anti-depressant. Menopause and the subsequent hormonal changes bring about these things, and anti-depressants are a common form of treatment. If it works, use it. One thing more. My doctor once said to me, "Debbie, you know your body better than I do. I'll listen to you." Please do find a doctor that will listen to you. You DO know your body. Don't let an outsider tell you otherwise. Shalom, my friend...
__________________ |
|
| |
|
10-16-2005, 08:06 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada
Posts: 1,440
|
Rowan... this isn't a quick fix... but... there are natural things a person can take to smooth out the hormones quite a bit... and I mean to the "calm" level... if taken faithfully... just google "natural remedies menopause" and you'll get lots of info to start with... and it helped me with the physical pain around it as well... exercise also helped keep my hormones more level... and let me ride off my aggressions... and the fresh air... does wonders .. ;o) sometimes it's just little things that can make it so much better for ourselves... don't lose hope Rowan... your not doing this alone.. and I'm sorry that it's come to you so young... this looks like an awesome site.. might help you get a handle on what your going through... and they have a forum as well ... so... http://www.earlymenopause.com/ I hope things change for you. |
|
| |
|
10-17-2005, 02:35 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Beyond the Ninth Wave  Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 107
|
Spontaneous, healthy menopause began at 35, completed at 37. Used natural remedies for excessive hot flashes, allowed the milder ones & other symptoms to have their way with me. I figured it was HP's way of telling me the world needs more powerful, older women. But I didn't have the suicidal impulses you seem to be suffering, Rowan. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe, get yourself heard & come through this time more power-full.
__________________ Contemplate yourself as surrounded by the conditions you wish to produce. Wayne Dyer "What fresh hell is this?" Dorothy Parker  |
|
| |
|
10-17-2005, 06:47 AM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,915
|
I'm so glad that I reached out. Thank you for your replies; I will try that website you suggested, bikewench. I do take natural remedies, and have since I first started getting the night sweats; I take black cohosh, dong quai, ginseng, vitamin e, omega 3-6-9, and i use a natural progesterone cream as needed. Combined with exercise and a healthy diet, I'm usually relatively balanced. But with this sudden menopause, I was not taking my herbs for a few days because my period had come and gone (and a much shorter/lighter one too). Anyway, I'm no stranger to suicidal ideation, but this has really frightened me. I am going to make some calls today, and yes, history teach, one is to my doc. I will get that referral to an ob/gyn and if nothing helps there, then on to a reproductive endocrinologist. I feel better today in that the impulses are less strong, but I feel such a deep sense of shame. I've exposed myself. I called my sister last night sobbing, and also my exhusband's wife, to ask her to please keep my daughter for an extra night. I was sobbing then too. I am supposed to be strong! I take care of other people! I don't want her to know that I am weak; what if she thinks I am crazy, incompetent?? I want to go somewhere in the world where they have encountered disasters; like Pakistan. I want to go there and help, to soothe and to comfort; maybe I would come away with a sense of gratitude for what I have in my life. Shame, that's what I feel. How dare I be so weak when others have it so bad?
|
|
| |
|
10-17-2005, 07:04 AM
| #15 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada
Posts: 1,440
|
Rowan... the only enemy we have is in our own heads... we let destructive thoughts roam free... thinking they are real...and full of power... and that they have the power to destroy us... and they do.. cause we give them that power... but.. those thougths were planted there by our pasts... and people in our pasts... and negative coping... and life circumstances that were handled badly... and on and on... this is what we must challenge.... each and every thought that tells us we're crap... that we dont' belong on this earth... that we're a mistake... that we have to sacrife ourselves in order to justify us drawing our next breath... crap crap crap.... it sounds like your doing all you can to help your body stabilize Rowan... but now... gotta start challenging those thoughts... Quote:
but.. you've simply stated that your human.. and that you can't do it all... so.. stow that shame eh.. ;o) stay close... keep telling us what's on your mind.. it'll get better. | |
|
| |
|
10-17-2005, 10:17 AM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 181
|
Hi Rowan, I was just reading your post and felt the need to reply. I started menopause at 36; but, like you, my doctor didn't believe it even after I told him my mother start at age 38 and her sister at age 37. I know I was right because four years later I was through with it. Please find a good doctor. You don't have to suffer like you are. I am now 55 years old, but when I was 36-37, I started using because I felt so horribly physically and emotionally. I wonder if things may have been different if I had a doctor who had listened. Probably not, but maybe I wouldn't have become so addicted to narcotics and other things. Even at my age, I still have hormonal problems which require medication, along with antidepressants. I take Prempro which is supposed to be very bad for you. I guess it can cause tumors, heart disease, and dementia (not worried about that one since I already have it). My doctor weaned me off it last summer, and I ended up in the fetal position. My shrink told me that antidepressants do not work as effectively if your hormones are not balanced. So I opted for quality of life, and my doc is letting me stay on the med. Wow, I just really got carried away with talking about myself. Sorry. My point is that you may need some kind of hormone replacement therapy while you're going through this. The only thing that gave me a little relief was soy. I took the capsules daily. I don't know why women have all this stuff. But be persistent, and if you have to, get a new doctor. Your suffering should be able to be relieved to a bearable degree. One short story: When I was going through this, I was at the health food store buying my soy. All of a sudden, I had the worst hot flash.Thank goodness the manager knew me and was very patient. I couldn't find my money, I dropped my pocketbook, I had sweat dripping off my upper lip, when............. I was tapped on the shoulder by a girl about my daughter's age now (24). She said not to worry, and that I should think the way her mother did when she had a hot flash. Her mother would smile and say, "How lucky I am. I'm having my own little private summer." Needless to say, the manager choked when he saw my face. To this day, I do believe he saved that poor girl from having a broken nose. Get some help and take care of yourself. Carol |
|
| |
|
10-17-2005, 01:25 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,915
|
Carol I must thank you for the first smile I have mustered up in days. Thinking of your 'own private summer' and the thunderous look you must have given the girl, surely cheered me. Thank you! I will get a new doc, but first will see about a referral to an ob/gyn. I just came from seeing a naturopath and I have some hope. She agrees that my hormones are responsible for much of my suffering. I have a couple different things to try to help boost my serotonin and dopamine levels naturally, plus a natural progesterone cream. I may eventually have to turn to synthetic HRT but only as a last result because of their contribution to the conditions you outlined. I understand that it was a quality of life decision you had to make; I really 'get that', you know? My outlook is better today, not great but better. I'm glad I went to see this naturopath, and I'm glad I listened to my body. I want to feel better. Thanks again for sharing your experience, strength and hope. Rowan |
|
| |
|
10-17-2005, 02:21 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| fire dancer  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co
Posts: 483
|
(((((((((rowan)))))))) have little to offer other than hugs, prayers, & the fact that i have a friend who has "early" menopause, she's 38 or maybe 39 now & has gone a whole year without a period......so it does happen to some ealier......good luck & there is help, books/websites/herbs/meds/etc....don't give up
__________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives  |
|
| |
|
10-17-2005, 10:10 PM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Honk if you're a codie!  Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: State of Codependency
Posts: 115
|
Hi Rowan, It's amazing to me how powerful hormones can be. When I had my period I always felt a little blue just before I got it and that was the one day of the month I would cry. Then I got an ovarian cyst and they gave me shots of Lupron (usually used for prostate cancer) to shrink the ovary and cyst and I went into menopause at age 42. It worked, the cyst shrunk but then I had to go on hormone replacement therapy for a few years. They have minimal doses nowadays. But I went off it when the scary stuff came out and then I was feeling suicidal that one day a month. I knew it was only my hormones but I was also trying to deal with the mess of my life, married to an addict. I finally found some natural balancing creams that worked great. Please go to a good ob/gyn and get some relief. It will help tremendously. MamaGoose
__________________ MamaGoose  "Our recovery is tough. We don't have to give up a drink or a substance. We have to give up our very nature. We are caregivers. It's what we do." - historyteach - |
|
| |
|
10-18-2005, 10:26 AM
| #20 (permalink) |
| Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,915
|
Thank yous to Wolflet and MamaGoose - I've done all that I can for now. I"ll wait until I can see an ob/gyn and go from there. This whole experience has taught me to listen to my body, not necessarily my quack of a doc! Hormones have always been my nemesis, but I must admit that when I am in the throes of a 'meltdown' I don't know whether it's my depression or the hormones, or both. Being a recovering alcoholic who relapsed in July and who is involved with a not-hugely-supportive recovering alcoholic/addict -- ack -- no wonder this happens. I just want to feel normal. Sigh
|
|
| |
|
10-18-2005, 01:57 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 11,030
|
I find more and more often that I have to be my own advocate in any aspect of health care. Drs are often too busy to pay attention and are often in the mode of talking, but not listening. Therefore, I have found that the ultimate responsibility rests with me. It's up to me to listen and learn whatever I can, but I must make the choices in many instances. It sounds like you're doing ok Rowan.
__________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou |
|
| |
|
10-18-2005, 07:12 PM
| #22 (permalink) |
| Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,915
|
Yes Anna, thank God, the impulse has passed. For today. I agree with you that we need to be our own advocates, to do the research ourselves to make sure we are well informed. This experience with my doctor disillusioned me, and has actually made me think of going to school to become a doctor of Naturopathy. And why not? What's 7 years, after all? Suicidal ideation has been my shadow for many years, but since entering into recovery, the impulses come much less often. That being said, when they do, they are so disheartening, Anna. I feel so ashamed of myself afterwards, even if no one knows what happened. My boyfriend is having a very difficult time accepting my mood swings; I know they can be difficult but much of the time I think I am a terrific partner. He dwells so often on the negative aspects, and blames me so much that again all I feel is shame, and I want to fix everything. He thinks he is supportive, but I don't feel that he is. I am careful to watch that my expectations of him are not too high, but I just know that if the tables were turned I would be there for him. Maybe women are just more empathetic that way, I don't know. My sponsor has helped me to let go of worrying about the relationship, just for today, and that works, thank God. Anyway, going off on a tangent here ... sorry .. thanks again for listening. I have missed coming here so much - typical of my life - I do something for a while, everything gets better, and I disappear .. kaboom .. and I'm back! How about a little balance, God? Love Rowan |
|
| |
|
| Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Linear Mode
