fellow sponsee intimidation (continued)

[skissors6]

The monthly meeting at my sponsor's house is tomorrow.

any tips on how i could "fit in" without feeling less than and unimportant?

a little scared. didn't want to go. scheduled myself to work so i had an excuse out of going, but then my program side of my brain told me i should go, so i switched shifts so i could go.

ay yi yi! anyway, any input would be great. and i have to bring a side dish for barbeque. any suggestions?

thanks!

-Skiss

[Paulie]

any tips on how i could "fit in" without feeling less than and unimportant?

You need to remember that you are there for the same reason the others are, you want to stay sober. Sometimes my head tries to tell me that I am not as deserving as others, that is my disease talking. Your disease is telling you that your sponsor likes the others more than you.

I think I told you this before but when I got my current sponsor a year ago she had meetings at her house on Monday nights with all her sponsees, there were 5 of us. Talk about being intimidated. That had been doing this for over a year all together and not to mention they all live in the next county I had never even seen these women at a meeting or anything. I was terrified. But I had to remember why I chose my sponsor to be my sponsor, that is what I wanted....what she has. I chose her so that she would share her recovery with me just as the other women there did also. Then her schedule got to busy and she stopped the Monday meetings, and I actually missed them. I learned alot from those ladies, I have not seen them now in months because of where we live (my sponsors business is in the next county that is how she met them but she lives around the corner from me).

Open yourself up to the possiblity that you could not only learn from them but that you have something to share with them also. And remember you all picked that sponsor for the same reason.

You will be fine .

I have a great cold rice salad receipe that was a huge hit at 2 BBQ's I went to this past summer if you want it let me know and I will post it for you.

[Fire_Wind_Rain]

i have to bring a side dish for barbeque. any suggestions

Deviled eggs. They're always a huge hit, and one of the first things to go when I make them and bring them anywhere! Or, a simple prepackaged bag of Caesar salad in your own dish tossed with the dressing packed with it, along with a box of crunchy croutons thrown in right when you get to the party would work well too. (don't throw croutons in at home, as they will get soggy.)

Suggestions on how to fit in? Be a good listener, make good eye contact no matter how freaked out you feel internally, and ask questions that may be of interest to the person you're speaking to, along with appearing to be interested in what people are saying always works well. People love to talk about themselves, & really appreciate when someone actually listens to them. As a result, they will usually extend the same curtesy back to you, hence you engage in a nice conversation & get to know the other people there.

The worse thing you can do is to not be yourself, or act a way you wouldn't normally act. This sets you up for failure down the road at future meetings, as well as makes you just completely uncomfy in your own skin while you're doing it. Good luck.

[skissors6]

thanks paulie! yah, post that recipe. sounds good
and thanks for your input on the fitting in thing. i do like one of my fellow sponsee sisters. but she is the only one i am kinda friends with. the only one i talk to outside of mtgs and these functions. i guess i could just hang with her and then through that, i could come out of my shell a little and feel like i fit in (through association). yah?

Shannon-thank you for your input. sounds good. i know how to be social and i guess it could be like the whole 'fake it til you make it' thing.
oh and i thought about the deviled egg thing, but too late. doesn't it take a while to hardboil eggs? I guess i could go to the store and just buy some, but homemade deviled eggs (fresh) are always better. maybe costco would have good ones. hmm...

anyway, thanks for the suggestions. i will try them all! im a little nervous, but a little excited too! it could be fun.

-Skiss

[Paulie]

Here it is...now when I found this in a magazine I read it to my H and he said 'oh dont' make that'. Well I made it anyway, he loves it. Like I said I took it to two BBQ's this past summer and had to give out the receipe people loved it so much.

Rice 'n Peach Salad

1 1/2 cups cooked Minute Brown Rice
1 can (11 oz) whole kernael corn drained
1 cup almonds, toasted, chopped ( am lazy I buy the little bags ready to go)
1 cup fresh peas or frozen peas thawed out
1 peach chopped small pieces
1/2 cup Kraft Catalina Dressing
1/4 cup chopped red onion
1/4 cup chopped cilantro or fresh parsley ( I never put this in LOL)

Mix all together in large bowl and refrigerate until ready to serve.
makes 10 1/2 cup servings.

Let me know how it goes.

[skissors6]

thanks paulie!

i will try it! do i have to put the onions in?

-Skiss

[Paulie]

No, I leave out the cilantor/parsley LOL. My H likes the onions so I just chop them big so I can pick them out...YUCK I hate them LOL

[skissors6]

Cool. Thanks

[splendra]

(((skiss)))

I am hoping that you will totally realize that you are as good as anyone else. Others may seem like they have something you don't have and maybe they do but, you also have something that others don't have. You are unique and wonderful just as you are please keep that in mind where ever you go!!!

[skissors6]

thanks splendra! you make me smile!

Last night went all right. and yah, i don't know what's wrong with my self-esteem. Cause there is this one girl who is a sponsee sister of mine and she is young, threfore major intimidation goin on for me, moreso than the adult women there. anyway, i was thinking about what all of you have told me while i was there last night and i was looking at her, and there was really nothing about her that should make her ay better than me. She has an attitude, she is rude and annoying (i know im being judgemental...sorry), but for some reason, i still feel less than, or like other people like her more than me or would rather talk to her. it's probably all within me and nothing to do with her. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

anyway, paulie...thanks for the recipe, it turned out really good and everyone loved it. i had to use pecans instead of almonds cause the store i went to didn't have almonds. what the hell is that? oh well. and i forgot to buy a peach at the store, so i used canned peaches. it came out good though.
thanks again!

So, overall the night went well. Much better than last month. We have all these fires going on over here...again!! (like Oct 2 years ago) So alot of the streets and freeways were closed, so a few people couldn't make it, including my one friend sponsee i have. but i survived anyway! yay for me!

anyway, TTFN!

-Skiss

[Paulie]

yay for you is right. It gets better. And as you get more comfortable in your own skin.....you wil see that.

I am proud of you for going.