Healing from sexual abuse

[splendra]

I found this article on healing sexaul abuse while surfing the net. I found it to be quite interesting. The site also has some other article that may be of value to some as well just click on the links for the other articles...

http://www.visioform.com/uk/articles-sexuality.htm

[bikewench]

awesome link there Spendra...
thanks so much...

It explained sexual abuse and the ramifications really well... and it said a coupla things that gave me some comfort... and some self forgiveness.


so.. tanks again.. ;o)
I'll be checking it out fully...

[splendra]

just a little bump

[Jennifer_JJ_Jen]

ty for the link, it will help me as many of my friends

[bikewench]

as this is about sex.. and why my life is unmanageable about it... I'm gonna drop this here.. ;o)

had a very bad day today..
I woke up crying... and I've been crying all day...
I am trying to live a normal life through all this... working.. loved ones..
and every second I'm alone... I'm bawling my head off....
got a frickin headache like ya wouldnt' believe...

I really didn't want to .. but I went to an OA meeting tonight..
I have lost all interest in food....
and with my eating disorder... that's a red flag for me...

anyway...
from the moment I walked into the door of that room.. God started working in my life...
there were things said there.. that clearly pointed to the action I needed to follow...

and then.. when I got home... God showed me the reason my life was so messed up in spite of all my efforts to get well..

these links tell it all.. for anyone interested in love and sex addiction...

http://www.cybersexualaddiction.com/lovept1.php

http://www.cybersexualaddiction.com/lovept2.php


that is me...

and even as I type... I can feel myself going back into denial around it...

I am so resistant to giving it up...
yet it causes me so much pain I now see...
sometimes I wonder if I'm not addicted to the pain ..! ? ?
can I be that cracked..??

I am fighting to become willing to give this up... but.. I just like men... and that leads to thoughts of.......

how do you stop liking men..?

can anyone else relate...?

this is the second time I've had the clouds part around this...

I just feel ruptured....

[51anna]

Bikewench,

I'm sorry you're feeling bad but it's good that you are taking care of yourself. I don't relate to a sexual addiction although I believe one addiction is the same as another. Drinking was never about the alcohol. It was about all the pain I was feeling. And, you know what, I think maybe you can be addicted to pain, at least I think I was. Pain is the first emotion I remember as a child and it grew and lived with me throughout my growing up. It felt comfortable. In fact, it was hard to give it up. Even now, it beckons me sometimes.

I don't think you have to stop liking men, I think you have to start liking/loving yourself enough so that you see there can be a life without pain and a life without searching for something you think you are missing.

[splendra]

(((bw)))

I like what anna said.

I wish I could give enough love to you and everyone else for these sexual issues to be healed.

I am so sorry you are crying so much. I have been ther too. I don't think you have to stop liking men. But, you do not have to give yourself away either. In the making love threads I have started I have posted links about the energy of sexuality maybe something there could give you some insight as well. Love ya girl...

[bikewench]

((Anna)) ((Splendra))

your kind loving words mean so much to me...

women have been the enemy in my life for so long...


I will go and read the sexual energy thread Splendra...
funny how things go eh...
you started this thread... and then it just kept sticking itself in my face... ;o)

Thank you both for your imput around liking men...
I think I may have to completely swear off them for a bit... just so that I can help myself identify my behaviors and thought cycles around them...
I have already split the sheets with my guy... although I am still ... ya know..
this two weeks of not sleeping with him has really provoked the issue though...
and then my friend Paul has been MIA.. and I have a whole nuther set of issues with him...
and my daughter...
gawd..
do I share all this with her..??
or do I just let my recovery speak for itself... ?
I have so much shame around this.

funny how things go eh...
Slendra.. the link you provided gave a coupla good whacks to my diseased walls... and I guess it was enough to let some clarity and sanity through...
and even though I am still crying today... I do feel a lessening of the tension in my bod..


I just feel drained though...
And I don't want to deal with this...

.... whaaaaaa....
typical addict...

And God says...
yes...
get back to work..

blessings on you both..

[splendra]

(((BW))))

you gonna be alright darlin'...

[wolflet]

thanks for the link Slendra!

bike wench........ouch, i remember crying all the time (actually i've been pretty teary the last month or so, but not like in the past)
keep crying, it sucks, i know, but it's release is good, what our bodies need to help heal
& yes, pain can be an addiction, or if not an addiction then like was stated before....comfortable/familiar......if we learn it as an early experience as "the norm" we feel kind of ill at ease when it's not there, even tho we don't want to be in pain, it's like something is missing.
good luck grrrrrrrl!