REJECTION - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

02-18-2002, 03:20 AM

This is such a sensitive subject for me, but one I feel I must talk about. I've never told anyone how rejected I feel many times. Sometimes when I call someone and they don't answer i immediately think they checked their caller ID and just didn't want to speak with me. But then I take everything to the tenth degree, so it's nothing new. The hardest part about this for me is that I let my feelings run away with me and I build up this big hurt in my mind. After a period of time, I start to realize how crazy this thinking is, but, the next time I do it, it starts all over again. That is just one example of how rejection affects me. It really falls into all areas of my life. It's my insecurities manifesting themselves but it I seem to be unable to realize that at the moment. I'm wondering if there are others who have ever felt or do feel that way and if so, what did you do to overcome it? Thanks Scarlett

SAngelfive · 02-18-2002, 07:24 AM

Hi Scarlelt

I know what you mean and feel when some reject you. I know for me because I have be rejected when I was a little girl I carry that feel around with me for all long. So If someone rejects when I got older it would feel like a rejection big time and I never speak to that person again. For a while I would not get close to any one in then that why I wouldn't get hurt. Now I have to look at it and see where they are coming from so I don't get that rejection from them. Right now I just don't even what to play games with people either. So I hope this helps you and pray on it and LET GO LET GOD.....

SAngelfive

Sick In The City · 02-18-2002, 01:39 PM

I understand completely, Scarlett. This is a character defect, inadequacy, that I have to do alot of work on myself.
May I make a suggestion? The next time something like this happens, try writing about it. For some reason, writing seems to take the power out of the feelings we usually bottle and allows us to back off for long enough to get a fresh perspective on the situation. For me, it provides a relief for my pent up emotions and an opportunity to surrender to them for a moment.
If I let myself fully experience what is present in me, then I can be done with it and move on. When I stuff it, it stays with me forever.
I applaud you for your honesty and your courage in bringing this very personal issue to the board. Keep us informed on how things are going okay?
P.S. Are you going to meetings yet?

------------------
The lie is dead...We do recover!

Gettin' Better!

Ogly · 02-18-2002, 03:35 PM

oh that would be me, that would be me - see me jumping up and down!!!

Scarlett - it has taken me 36 years and a few shrinks to figure this one out so i don't think on a dialy baiss that i am not worthwile for anyone to talk to.... it isvwery much an insecurity thing and it is ultimately you telling yourself - that you don't think you are worthy and instead of dealing with you head on - it manifests itself in rejection from others... does that make sense?

what i did to help myself... i a) realized i am a wonderful person worthy of love and respect.... that is the most important thing you have to have is your own love and b) if someone does not realize what a great person i am - screw them and i say NEXT.... and go looking someone who does value me... life is too short and there are too many people in this world to meet who might and usually are better than the person imet before... you draw to you the people you subconsciously think you deserve... so if you think you are scum... you are going to draw scum into your lifethat treat you like crap.... if you think you are wonderful - youwill bring loving and caring people into your life... it works... i finally feel good about myslef 90% of the time and you should see the people in my life and people are telling me all the time how fun it is to be around me... it was ultimately a change in attitude for me....and little help from my friends to reinforce that new attitude

Hope that helps...

Sick In The City · 02-18-2002, 08:12 PM

Well said, Ogly, our outer world reflects our inner world. It is truly a miracle to watch how the outer world transforms when we begin to sort through, honor and heal the world within.
I have noticed that when things seem chaotic, it is because on some inner level, I am trying to control everything. That's when I have to back off and say I am powerless and hand it over to my Higher Power. I try to see the lesson in everything and to understand what inner work needs to be done in order for my enjoyment of life to change. (God that used to be an alien concept...the "enjoyment of life" thing).
And then there are times when I have to say, "Sick, you think too much. Just be!" And that is pretty powerful all by itself.

------------------
The lie is dead...We do recover!

Gettin' Better!

beginning2c · 03-11-2002, 05:04 PM

"you draw to you the people you subconsciously think you deserve... "

WOW what a powerful statement. It just changed my thinking. Thank you so much.

02-18-2002, 03:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
Scarlett Guest Posts: n/a	REJECTION This is such a sensitive subject for me, but one I feel I must talk about. I've never told anyone how rejected I feel many times. Sometimes when I call someone and they don't answer i immediately think they checked their caller ID and just didn't want to speak with me. But then I take everything to the tenth degree, so it's nothing new. The hardest part about this for me is that I let my feelings run away with me and I build up this big hurt in my mind. After a period of time, I start to realize how crazy this thinking is, but, the next time I do it, it starts all over again. That is just one example of how rejection affects me. It really falls into all areas of my life. It's my insecurities manifesting themselves but it I seem to be unable to realize that at the moment. I'm wondering if there are others who have ever felt or do feel that way and if so, what did you do to overcome it? Thanks Scarlett

02-18-2002, 07:24 AM	#2 (permalink)
SAngelfive Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Victoria,B.C.Canada Posts: 46	Hi Scarlelt I know what you mean and feel when some reject you. I know for me because I have be rejected when I was a little girl I carry that feel around with me for all long. So If someone rejects when I got older it would feel like a rejection big time and I never speak to that person again. For a while I would not get close to any one in then that why I wouldn't get hurt. Now I have to look at it and see where they are coming from so I don't get that rejection from them. Right now I just don't even what to play games with people either. So I hope this helps you and pray on it and LET GO LET GOD..... SAngelfive __________________ <a href="http://soberrecovery.com">Directory of Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Information<br> </a> <a href="http://www.thetreatmentdirectory.com">Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Resources</a>

02-18-2002, 03:35 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ogly Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Colorado Posts: 162	oh that would be me, that would be me - see me jumping up and down!!! Scarlett - it has taken me 36 years and a few shrinks to figure this one out so i don't think on a dialy baiss that i am not worthwile for anyone to talk to.... it isvwery much an insecurity thing and it is ultimately you telling yourself - that you don't think you are worthy and instead of dealing with you head on - it manifests itself in rejection from others... does that make sense? what i did to help myself... i a) realized i am a wonderful person worthy of love and respect.... that is the most important thing you have to have is your own love and b) if someone does not realize what a great person i am - screw them and i say NEXT.... and go looking someone who does value me... life is too short and there are too many people in this world to meet who might and usually are better than the person imet before... you draw to you the people you subconsciously think you deserve... so if you think you are scum... you are going to draw scum into your lifethat treat you like crap.... if you think you are wonderful - youwill bring loving and caring people into your life... it works... i finally feel good about myslef 90% of the time and you should see the people in my life and people are telling me all the time how fun it is to be around me... it was ultimately a change in attitude for me....and little help from my friends to reinforce that new attitude Hope that helps... __________________ The chulpa bunny rides again!!! Where's my fur? Who stole my frying pan?

03-11-2002, 05:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
beginning2c He who laughs, lasts. Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: south carolina Posts: 67	"you draw to you the people you subconsciously think you deserve... " WOW what a powerful statement. It just changed my thinking. Thank you so much. __________________ The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. Ben Stein

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02-18-2002, 01:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
Sick In The City Forum Leader Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Vacaville Posts: 94	I understand completely, Scarlett. This is a character defect, inadequacy, that I have to do alot of work on myself. May I make a suggestion? The next time something like this happens, try writing about it. For some reason, writing seems to take the power out of the feelings we usually bottle and allows us to back off for long enough to get a fresh perspective on the situation. For me, it provides a relief for my pent up emotions and an opportunity to surrender to them for a moment. If I let myself fully experience what is present in me, then I can be done with it and move on. When I stuff it, it stays with me forever. I applaud you for your honesty and your courage in bringing this very personal issue to the board. Keep us informed on how things are going okay? P.S. Are you going to meetings yet? ------------------ The lie is dead...We do recover! Gettin' Better!

02-18-2002, 08:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sick In The City Forum Leader Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Vacaville Posts: 94	Well said, Ogly, our outer world reflects our inner world. It is truly a miracle to watch how the outer world transforms when we begin to sort through, honor and heal the world within. I have noticed that when things seem chaotic, it is because on some inner level, I am trying to control everything. That's when I have to back off and say I am powerless and hand it over to my Higher Power. I try to see the lesson in everything and to understand what inner work needs to be done in order for my enjoyment of life to change. (God that used to be an alien concept...the "enjoyment of life" thing). And then there are times when I have to say, "Sick, you think too much. Just be!" And that is pretty powerful all by itself. ------------------ The lie is dead...We do recover! Gettin' Better!

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