I knew better - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

darlaw · 08-09-2005, 08:24 PM

than to answer that phone. Hell I pay for caller ID for a reason right..But no, I had to do it. Thought I'd be able to handle him after 1 1/2 days...who was I kidding...Not his fault. I'm the one who fell for all his BS.. Hell he's not even a user of any kind. I'm the one ........but he uses my emotions, my body, & I continue to allow that to happen. Now when I was sober I kept my distance....That should speak volumes to me huh?

Dang Daisy, I'm sorry,,,I'll keep trying.....

daisy12326 · 08-09-2005, 08:32 PM

Darlaw..dont be sorry..and please dont feel that you are letting anyone down. I know that is what got me feeling the worst last time. Just learn from it, everything happens for a reason and if you learn from it all the better. I dont really know what you are going through, but I do know that whenever I would drink I would get in fights with my ex. He too knew exactly how to push my buttons and hurt me emotionally (part of the reason I left him). But I know that it really hard when someone does that to you. Just try and be strong and dont let anyone make you feel bad. You are worth more than that!! Tomorrow is a new day!! Just keep trying!! I am here for you and so are many others!!!

darlaw · 08-09-2005, 08:45 PM

Thanks. I'll try harder....well I'll just really try to keep being me. But damn it to hell..How often do I have to think that abuse comes in many different forms. You'd think I'd learn...But that has nothing to do with ME & MY RECOVERY???/ OR DOES IT?

Thanks!

daisy12326 · 08-09-2005, 08:59 PM

Well I am not sure, but I do know from personal experience that added stress can make it extra hard to concentrate on doing things for yourself (such as stopping drinking, etc). I have found that when I have extra stress on top of the normal stuff that I am much weaker and usually will justify it by saying "oh one drink would help to calm my nerves"...well I know that 1 is never just 1 for me...anyways relationship stuff seems to be a big one for me too...anyways, please dont give up...you can do this!!!

***Anna*** · 08-10-2005, 05:57 AM

The journey we are on is never a straight line, but if you can stay on course you're doing just fine. And, yeah, sobriety sure does make things clearer for us.

Love, Anna

Fire_Wind_Rain · 08-10-2005, 10:10 PM

Not sure what your situation is hon, but I do know this.

Quote:

Thought I'd be able to handle him after 1 1/2 days...who was I kidding...Not his fault. I'm the one who fell for all his BS..

I am a firm believer in the saying, "you screw me once, shame on you...you screw me twice, shame on me." I think sometimes we need a "doh" moment so we remind ourselves, "yeah, I told myself I wasn't going to do that for a reason." Or in your case, "dang, I know I have caller id for a reason." It's a learning experience. Hang in there.

MNGirlyGirl · 08-11-2005, 08:45 AM

Now that you know better, you will do better!

Vela D. · 08-16-2005, 10:23 AM

Easier said than done.
Sometimes we feel like there is a void and often look outside ourselves to fill it.
So many times in sobriety I've fallen short, but I don't pick up.
I work really hard to find out what I like or what I can do besides men,alcohol or drugs that would make me happy or satisfied. I've been sober for 9yrs. and I have found that I do well until a crisis comes. I don't want to feel any pain or discomfort so I have to work harder not to medicate myself mostly with men. I know it is not good, but just like alcohol and the phonomenon of craving. If I start a relationship while I'm in crisis or just feeling lonely some where in the middle I realize it is not good, attempt to stop only to realize I can't.Just like drinking. So I set up my support system, usually close friends. Spend some alone time with God every day. At least 30min.to start. Attempt to start a journal. Go to meetings more. find some outside activitie to participate in. Pray and by all means have as less contact as possible with the current male medication. It is always hard. It is easier to be dilutional than to deal with reality, But dilutional situations will only make reality worse. So I play the whole tape so I can remember why I have to disconnect from unhealth relationships. I deserve a Happy and health relationship and I will never get it if I settle for less or treat myself like I am less.I'm going to keep working on getting it right too.
Anyway thanks for having the courage to post.
Vela

08-09-2005, 08:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
darlaw A Brand New Day Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: ATL Posts: 14	I knew better than to answer that phone. Hell I pay for caller ID for a reason right..But no, I had to do it. Thought I'd be able to handle him after 1 1/2 days...who was I kidding...Not his fault. I'm the one who fell for all his BS.. Hell he's not even a user of any kind. I'm the one ........but he uses my emotions, my body, & I continue to allow that to happen. Now when I was sober I kept my distance....That should speak volumes to me huh? Dang Daisy, I'm sorry,,,I'll keep trying.....

08-09-2005, 08:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
daisy12326 Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Loving being sober Posts: 58	Darlaw..dont be sorry..and please dont feel that you are letting anyone down. I know that is what got me feeling the worst last time. Just learn from it, everything happens for a reason and if you learn from it all the better. I dont really know what you are going through, but I do know that whenever I would drink I would get in fights with my ex. He too knew exactly how to push my buttons and hurt me emotionally (part of the reason I left him). But I know that it really hard when someone does that to you. Just try and be strong and dont let anyone make you feel bad. You are worth more than that!! Tomorrow is a new day!! Just keep trying!! I am here for you and so are many others!!! __________________ The poor long for riches, the rich long for heaven, but the wise long for a state of tranquility. - Swami Rama

08-09-2005, 08:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
daisy12326 Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Loving being sober Posts: 58	Well I am not sure, but I do know from personal experience that added stress can make it extra hard to concentrate on doing things for yourself (such as stopping drinking, etc). I have found that when I have extra stress on top of the normal stuff that I am much weaker and usually will justify it by saying "oh one drink would help to calm my nerves"...well I know that 1 is never just 1 for me...anyways relationship stuff seems to be a big one for me too...anyways, please dont give up...you can do this!!! __________________ The poor long for riches, the rich long for heaven, but the wise long for a state of tranquility. - Swami Rama

08-10-2005, 05:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 22,832	The journey we are on is never a straight line, but if you can stay on course you're doing just fine. And, yeah, sobriety sure does make things clearer for us. Love, Anna __________________ And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

08-11-2005, 08:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
MNGirlyGirl Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Plymouth, MN Posts: 970	Now that you know better, you will do better! __________________ -- The good news is that your feelings come back...The bad news is that your feelings come back.

08-09-2005, 08:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
darlaw A Brand New Day Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: ATL Posts: 14	Thanks. I'll try harder....well I'll just really try to keep being me. But damn it to hell..How often do I have to think that abuse comes in many different forms. You'd think I'd learn...But that has nothing to do with ME & MY RECOVERY???/ OR DOES IT? Thanks!

08-16-2005, 10:23 AM	#8 (permalink)
Vela D. One day at a time ! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 29	Easier said than done. Sometimes we feel like there is a void and often look outside ourselves to fill it. So many times in sobriety I've fallen short, but I don't pick up. I work really hard to find out what I like or what I can do besides men,alcohol or drugs that would make me happy or satisfied. I've been sober for 9yrs. and I have found that I do well until a crisis comes. I don't want to feel any pain or discomfort so I have to work harder not to medicate myself mostly with men. I know it is not good, but just like alcohol and the phonomenon of craving. If I start a relationship while I'm in crisis or just feeling lonely some where in the middle I realize it is not good, attempt to stop only to realize I can't.Just like drinking. So I set up my support system, usually close friends. Spend some alone time with God every day. At least 30min.to start. Attempt to start a journal. Go to meetings more. find some outside activitie to participate in. Pray and by all means have as less contact as possible with the current male medication. It is always hard. It is easier to be dilutional than to deal with reality, But dilutional situations will only make reality worse. So I play the whole tape so I can remember why I have to disconnect from unhealth relationships. I deserve a Happy and health relationship and I will never get it if I settle for less or treat myself like I am less.I'm going to keep working on getting it right too. Anyway thanks for having the courage to post. Vela __________________ Easy does it !

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