How I stay sober - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

jessica2002 · 08-03-2005, 11:02 AM

Im not good at speaking during meetings. I get nervous and when I look at everyone I forget what I'm going to say. So this forum works for me because noone is staring at me. I celebrated 3 yrs yesterday and I shared in front 40 people and I choked up. I am sober because I put my kids through so much. I had my kids taken from me by the state. My daughter was 18 mths old and I had been in trouble for the second time for Meth. The state didn't think I was going to make it and their plan was adoption for my kids. Iwas in my second 6mth tx center. My worker asked me how I could hurt my kids like that she said my 18mth old daughter was wandering around wondering where her mommy was. I didn't get her back for 1yr. Every night that I went to sleep I thought about her wandering around looking for me. I had a year to think about how bad I hurt them and how much they mean to me. I never want to hurt them like that again. I have my girls back for 2yrs now. So whenever I get a thought about drugs I think about that.

wolflet · 08-06-2005, 09:34 PM

you go!

bananagrrrl · 08-06-2005, 11:20 PM

You have a wonderful recovery story.

Congratulations!

***Anna*** · 08-06-2005, 11:30 PM

Hi Jessica,

I am so glad you are sober now and are able to take good care of your kids. Congratulations on your 3 years of sobriety and I'm sure your kids are glad that you are present for them all the time. Sometimes it's good to remember the pain we caused people - I know that it can help me with motivation - but I hope you can forgive yourself and be kind to you.

Love, Anna

Sazzer · 08-07-2005, 04:31 AM

Congratulations Jessica! I hope you feel so proud of yourself!!!

"Sometimes it's good to remember the pain we caused people - I know that it can help me with motivation - but I hope you can forgive yourself and be kind to you."

Thanks, Anna. That's a great reminder for all. Forgive. Not only does it feel amazing, but that shame and self-blame can be a trigger to use again. Who needs it?

Love to all!
Saz

hawkgazer · 08-11-2005, 07:40 PM

Wow, thanks Jessica! I hope that someday you will feel able to share your story in person in front of a group, too - it is truly a rewarding experience. I know that it really helps me ALOT to hear other's stories, no matter how long or short they are. And if the person speaking is visibly nervous, so what? We have ALL been there. My first time speaking was at 6 months sober, and afterward I felt like throwing up! thank god my sponsor was there to scoop me up and take me out for ice cream! All I wanted to do was cry all night.
Welcome to the boards. This is a great place.
-H

08-03-2005, 11:02 AM	#1 (permalink)
jessica2002 Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Bend, OR Posts: 9	How I stay sober Im not good at speaking during meetings. I get nervous and when I look at everyone I forget what I'm going to say. So this forum works for me because noone is staring at me. I celebrated 3 yrs yesterday and I shared in front 40 people and I choked up. I am sober because I put my kids through so much. I had my kids taken from me by the state. My daughter was 18 mths old and I had been in trouble for the second time for Meth. The state didn't think I was going to make it and their plan was adoption for my kids. Iwas in my second 6mth tx center. My worker asked me how I could hurt my kids like that she said my 18mth old daughter was wandering around wondering where her mommy was. I didn't get her back for 1yr. Every night that I went to sleep I thought about her wandering around looking for me. I had a year to think about how bad I hurt them and how much they mean to me. I never want to hurt them like that again. I have my girls back for 2yrs now. So whenever I get a thought about drugs I think about that.

08-06-2005, 09:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
wolflet fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co Posts: 489	you go! __________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

08-06-2005, 11:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 22,832	Hi Jessica, I am so glad you are sober now and are able to take good care of your kids. Congratulations on your 3 years of sobriety and I'm sure your kids are glad that you are present for them all the time. Sometimes it's good to remember the pain we caused people - I know that it can help me with motivation - but I hope you can forgive yourself and be kind to you. Love, Anna __________________ And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

08-07-2005, 04:31 AM	#5 (permalink)
Sazzer Let Go & Let God Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 87	Love to all Congratulations Jessica! I hope you feel so proud of yourself!!! "Sometimes it's good to remember the pain we caused people - I know that it can help me with motivation - but I hope you can forgive yourself and be kind to you." Thanks, Anna. That's a great reminder for all. Forgive. Not only does it feel amazing, but that shame and self-blame can be a trigger to use again. Who needs it? Love to all! Saz __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin ================== Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. ~ Emily Dickinson

08-11-2005, 07:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
hawkgazer A Drunk taking a day off! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Boston,MA Posts: 30	Wow, thanks Jessica! I hope that someday you will feel able to share your story in person in front of a group, too - it is truly a rewarding experience. I know that it really helps me ALOT to hear other's stories, no matter how long or short they are. And if the person speaking is visibly nervous, so what? We have ALL been there. My first time speaking was at 6 months sober, and afterward I felt like throwing up! thank god my sponsor was there to scoop me up and take me out for ice cream! All I wanted to do was cry all night. Welcome to the boards. This is a great place. -H __________________ "Fall seven times, Stand up eight" ~Japanese Proverb

08-06-2005, 11:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
bananagrrrl Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 699	You have a wonderful recovery story. Congratulations!

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