Not sure where to post

[Daylan]

Hi All,
This is my first post on this forum, and I'm not sure where it should be. This seems like a good place to start.
First of all, I am 13 years clean and sober, and up until now my life has been very good. My using days seem like a dream. I am not the person I was back then.
Recently, I found out that my daughter, (she's 22) is living in a flea bag hotel with some guy and is using heavily. (my drug of choice) Since finding this out, my cozy little life has been turned upside down. I'm being flooded by old memories and they're not good. It has brought my past back as if it were yesterday. I feel sick to my stomach, and I feel helpless and hopeless. I'm so scared for her. I know this life and what it does to you. I am one of the very few that broke away and found freedom from drugs. Most are not as lucky as I am.
I don't know what to say......I don't know what to do.........I'm so scared!!
She won't answer my calls, or let me see her as I know she doesn't want me to see her this way. I just want her to know that I love her and I'm there for her.
If anyone has any insight as to how I can help her please let me know!!!

[LettingGo]

Welcome to SR... This is a wonderful place for support and recovery. There are a lot of moms here with addict children who will be along to help you soon. Read the posts on the boards and put anything youre feeling out there. It is so therapudic to write it out as well as get feedback from people who have been there. I have the utmost confidence that you will find the support and answers you are seeking here. Just know that God watches over and loves her while she cannot love herself. Im sorry you are having to go thru this. So glad you found SR (soberrecovery). Looking forward to getting to know you!

[QueenShenique]

The best thing for all concerned is you take care of YOU--get to some meetings both in Na/AA and Nar-Anon, Al-Anon. It's got to be terrifying for you to know what your daughter is going thru--but remember, could anyone stop you? Being clean, serene and stable while keeping the door open IF she chooses to get help. In the meantime--the folks in the other side of the program will be able to give you a lot of support. Keep us posted! Blessings

[Daylan]

What a relief!!! I finally said something and someone listened. Thank you so much!!!
I must admit.....I'm not good at expressing my feelings, but it felt so good to receive your replies.

I think......what scares me the most is .......no one could stop me. She is so young. If she quits now, she stands a chance. If she continues....she may not make it out.

[LettingGo]

Its kind of odd to be an addict THEN learn how to deal with someone who you love so much as an addict. It just makes no sense! But, at least you have the 12 steps to use. You can apply that to her, and the fact that you have no control over her. In Alanon/naranon they use the 12 steps too so this should be a good fit for you :-) I have young children so I have no idea what it feels like to worry about a child and using. I did go thru it with their father though.. and it is awful. I truly feel for you. Post away... anything and everything. There is no judgement here. Sometimes tough love! but no judgement. Just a bunch of people who care about you and your well being!

[QueenShenique]

Oh y'all I had a couple more thoughts to share--first--I've been sober 16 yrs in AA/my sponsor has 17... She has pointed out to me frequently--that once people get into "double digit" sobriety---and relapse--they seem to have a very difficulty getting and staying sober again. I've seen it with my own eyes--and it has been a motivator for me to "stay close" to the program and the Higher Power. And too--the same HP that brought you out of that hell is available to your daughter. Pray if you are comfortable with it--and work with other young ladies seeking recovery. In the reciprocity of life--someone will be there to help your daughter when she is read. I try to encourage young men in my home group--because I hope someday my baby brother will approach the rooms of AA and someone will be there for him.

[namommy]

Daylan,

Welcome to SR. and to WIR. You will find alot of love and support here.

I am a recovering addict named Laurie. I have 8 years, 10 months clean. I have 4 kids. My 2 youngest are boys, and I have not dealt with this YET with them. My 2 girls on the other hand. whoa.

My oldest started experimenting a few years ago, and she got scared. She started to going to meetings with me for a while, and then she just stopped. She's been OK ever since. My 15 year old, got busted with pot in school and we are still dealing with the legal system over this. I was told that we can pray for them, love them, let them know that the program is available to them and that it CAN and WILL work for them the same way it worked for us. I know this is mild compared to the situation you have with your daughter, but it still scares the crap out of me and it's painful.

Check out the Nar-anon forums as well. The people on any of the forums here are wonderful and loving.

Keep us posted.

[historyteach]

Daylan;
Great advice given. Get to meetings for yourself - NA and Naranon. If there are no naranon meetings near you, get to alanon. I had to because of that reason. The Steps are the Steps.
My son has just turned 25 in prison. He started at 14. Alanon has saved my life. SR is a great place for regular support, day and night.
Also, check out the online meetings here too. Go to those forums. Post; vent; and heal. And remember the 3 Cs;
You didn't Cause it;
You can't Control it;
And you can't Cure it.
Oh, and I just learned another C
You CAN COPE with it!!!
Hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery.
Shalom!

[Daylan]

Thanks to everyone who has welcomed me. I just got home and I haven't even gotten my shoes off and I had to come to check in. It is so nice to talk to women in recovery who have such knowledge and insight. I must say.....I feel better already.

When I was in treatment I was told to write everything down......WOW......I have people write back. Modern technology you gotta love it.

I went to town to check out where the nar anon meetings are held and when. There is only one a week and it is tomorrow. I will go, but right now I need support on a daily basis and I'm grateful for this forum.

[QueenShenique]

Don't forget about Al-Anon--to me as a alcoholic/addict who has found the way to stay clean from both in AA, you might find that Al-Anon can offer you much support too. Get all you can! It's free (haha)! Keep us posted--we're rooting for YOU girl!

[namommy]

Go wherever you've got to go to get what you need.

Don't forget to pray.

[bikerprincess]

Daylan,

Welcome.

Great advice here.

Be a good example, get support, and pray.

I know it is scary...I have a teenage son learning his own lessons.

Anne