Need some suggestion - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

skissors6 · 06-10-2005, 06:14 PM

I had a talk with my sponsor last night, as some of you know, and she told me that the next step she wants me to take is to share about my self-harm at a meeting.

here's my issue:
I feel that if i just come out and say, "I have a problelm with cutting" people are going to think, "why is she all of a sudden bringing this up? she's just looking for attention."
i hate that! i feel i can't just talk about my feelings just as a factual statement of what is! I feel that whatever I say, people are thinking i have a motive or an expectation. But i don't! i would like to go to a meeting and be able to share about it, and not have anyone say anything, and just treat me how they always do.
I guess my question is, "how do i say it when i say it?"

any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
thanks

-Skiss

jcw1964 · 06-10-2005, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skissors6

I had a talk with my sponsor last night, as some of you know, and she told me that the next step she wants me to take is to share about my self-harm at a meeting.

here's my issue:
I feel that if i just come out and say, "I have a problelm with cutting" people are going to think, "why is she all of a sudden bringing this up? she's just looking for attention."
i hate that! i feel i can't just talk about my feelings just as a factual statement of what is! I feel that whatever I say, people are thinking i have a motive or an expectation. But i don't! i would like to go to a meeting and be able to share about it, and not have anyone say anything, and just treat me how they always do.
I guess my question is, "how do i say it when i say it?"

any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
thanks

-Skiss

Not much for suggestions other than "do what YOU need to do for YOU". If sharing is what you need to do to recover, then share and let the chips fall where they may. If they react poorly, and I dont think they will, they have probably heard worse, but it would be their problem. You are doing what you need to do for your own recovery.
Hope it helps
Thanks
JCW

namommy · 06-10-2005, 06:52 PM

One thing I tell my sponsees when I want them to share about something that they don't really want to.

"I have an issue that I have been dealing with through sponsorship and my sponsor feels I should share it at a meeting...." From there just say what you need to say.

I know this may sound mean, but when my sponsees are going through their "Everyone will think ...about me" stages. I tell them to stop being so self-centered you are not that important that everyone spends all their time thinking about you. And it's true.

eddie z. · 06-10-2005, 09:58 PM

Hey, Skiss! I would do it at a women's meeting if possible, like you do here. Do you have any available to you? I think alot of female addicts have this problem, too, so they should be very understanding.

Love and hugs,
Eddie

skissors6 · 06-11-2005, 10:33 AM

thanks for the suggestions.

namommy- i like your idea. "blame it on the sponsor" in a way. lol

and you are right about not being that important. ive heard that before and you are so right, and i just need to be reminded about that. thank you.

eddie- thank you for the idea to do it at a women's meeting. I have yet to venture to one, but yes, i do have some in my area. that meeting i was trying to get to last saturday when i found the dog, was a women's meeting. i will get there some day.

you guys all gave me a little encouragement. thank you.
i almost shared about it on thursday at my home group, but my sponsor wasn't there that night and i guess id feel a little safer if she was there.
is that stupid?
oh well, ttfn!

-Skiss

eddie z. · 06-11-2005, 12:07 PM

OK, so I'm ignorant. ttfn?

Love and hugs,
Eddie

skissors6 · 06-11-2005, 12:55 PM

oh eddie, you make me laugh! lol

ttfn means "Ta Ta For Now"

hee hee.
thanks for making me smile!

-Skiss

namommy · 06-11-2005, 01:48 PM

Eddie,
Haven't you ever watched 'winnie the pooh'. Tigger always exits with a ttfn. Geez! lol

eddie z. · 06-11-2005, 04:45 PM

Laurie & Skiss,
Hey, I said I was ignorant! I thought it was a typo for tafn, that's all for now.
Well, ttfn!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

skissors6 · 06-11-2005, 05:02 PM

it's ok. we still love you!

-skiss

Evanna · 06-11-2005, 05:51 PM

Hey Skiss,
I think it is possible you will get a lot of identification on that one anyway....most esp., amongst other women. I cut for years on and off. Men tend to be able to relate in their own ways too i found.

Warmest wishes
Evanna.

eddie z. · 06-11-2005, 07:25 PM

too, Skiss!! Now, clean out your PM box, OK?

Love and hugs,
Eddie

namommy · 06-11-2005, 08:12 PM

I still love you eddie.

eddie z. · 06-11-2005, 09:19 PM

-ez

06-10-2005, 06:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
skissors6 No Expectations! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Right where I'm supposed to be! Posts: 112	Need some suggestion I had a talk with my sponsor last night, as some of you know, and she told me that the next step she wants me to take is to share about my self-harm at a meeting. here's my issue: I feel that if i just come out and say, "I have a problelm with cutting" people are going to think, "why is she all of a sudden bringing this up? she's just looking for attention." i hate that! i feel i can't just talk about my feelings just as a factual statement of what is! I feel that whatever I say, people are thinking i have a motive or an expectation. But i don't! i would like to go to a meeting and be able to share about it, and not have anyone say anything, and just treat me how they always do. I guess my question is, "how do i say it when i say it?" any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks -Skiss

06-10-2005, 06:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,851 Blog Entries: 1	One thing I tell my sponsees when I want them to share about something that they don't really want to. "I have an issue that I have been dealing with through sponsorship and my sponsor feels I should share it at a meeting...." From there just say what you need to say. I know this may sound mean, but when my sponsees are going through their "Everyone will think ...about me" stages. I tell them to stop being so self-centered you are not that important that everyone spends all their time thinking about you. And it's true. __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. -- Anonymous

06-10-2005, 09:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
eddie z. No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 7,916	Hey, Skiss! I would do it at a women's meeting if possible, like you do here. Do you have any available to you? I think alot of female addicts have this problem, too, so they should be very understanding. Love and hugs, Eddie __________________

06-11-2005, 01:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,851 Blog Entries: 1	Eddie, Haven't you ever watched 'winnie the pooh'. Tigger always exits with a ttfn. Geez! lol __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. -- Anonymous

06-11-2005, 08:12 PM	#13 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,851 Blog Entries: 1	I still love you eddie. __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. -- Anonymous

06-11-2005, 10:33 AM	#5 (permalink)
skissors6 No Expectations! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Right where I'm supposed to be! Posts: 112	thanks for the suggestions. namommy- i like your idea. "blame it on the sponsor" in a way. lol and you are right about not being that important. ive heard that before and you are so right, and i just need to be reminded about that. thank you. eddie- thank you for the idea to do it at a women's meeting. I have yet to venture to one, but yes, i do have some in my area. that meeting i was trying to get to last saturday when i found the dog, was a women's meeting. i will get there some day. you guys all gave me a little encouragement. thank you. i almost shared about it on thursday at my home group, but my sponsor wasn't there that night and i guess id feel a little safer if she was there. is that stupid? oh well, ttfn! -Skiss

06-11-2005, 12:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
eddie z. No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 7,916	OK, so I'm ignorant. ttfn? Love and hugs, Eddie

06-11-2005, 12:55 PM	#7 (permalink)
skissors6 No Expectations! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Right where I'm supposed to be! Posts: 112	oh eddie, you make me laugh! lol ttfn means "Ta Ta For Now" hee hee. thanks for making me smile! -Skiss

06-11-2005, 04:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
eddie z. No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 7,916	Laurie & Skiss, Hey, I said I was ignorant! I thought it was a typo for tafn, that's all for now. Well, ttfn! Love and hugs, Eddie

06-11-2005, 05:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
skissors6 No Expectations! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Right where I'm supposed to be! Posts: 112	it's ok. we still love you! -skiss

06-11-2005, 05:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
Evanna Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Our house. Posts: 816	Hey Skiss, I think it is possible you will get a lot of identification on that one anyway....most esp., amongst other women. I cut for years on and off. Men tend to be able to relate in their own ways too i found. Warmest wishes Evanna.

06-11-2005, 07:25 PM	#12 (permalink)
eddie z. No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 7,916	too, Skiss!! Now, clean out your PM box, OK? Love and hugs, Eddie

06-11-2005, 09:19 PM	#14 (permalink)
eddie z. No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 7,916	-ez

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode