i am new

[dailyreprieve]

Hi,

I just found this site and look forward to getting to know you all

Welcome dailyreprieve

I'm so glad you found us. We look forward to getting to know you too. Feel free to tell us a little about yourself.

Hugs,
MG

[dailyreprieve]

oh boy, lets see.....
A little about myself. It's so much easier knowing about all of you lol...not so easy talking about myself.

I am a retread---after 8 years of sobriety, I relapsed on pain pills ( doctor perscribed ) and was out there for a long time....My drug of choice is alcohol....but I consider myself a duel addicted person, YOU name it I am addicted to it....I hit my bottom on April 30th 1997, where I went into inpatient treatment... went to oupatient afterwards and was in counseling also....

I am active in AA. and I have a wonderful sponsor, and a real good support system of other members...., and I meet with her about once a week....
I lost both my mom and dad last year 9 months apart ( biggest support system, ) so it's been a relatively hard year....I have an 8 year old daughter, joint custody, and I just broke up with SO, who found it necessary to go back to using.....I am 3.5 months pregnant with my second child....UGGG>..I am 37 years old. I live in California ( myself and daughter ) and lets see any questions?? LOL. I just recently looked back into counseling because there are some issues I need to work on ( constantly ) ......I stay busy....I work with others, and I go on average....to 4 meetings a week. right now because of situations, I am attending much more meetings and working harder on myself....and in the process of going back through the steps...My sobriety is VERY important to me and it's given me a life....and I understand how very 1 day at a time it can be...sometimes seconds at a time...driniking will make nothing better, it will only make it worse...and I try and commit to walking through fear...and I have developed a relationship with a HP...who is the one who keeps me sane....

Tell me about yourself ok?|

[dailyreprieve]

NOT April 30, it was March 30th 1997....Easter fell a little early that year....March. uugggggggggg

I am sorry that you lost both your parents so close together. That must really be difficult. So just know you have a family here.

I am here because my son is an addict/alcoholic and I really have a difficult time handling it. My life became unmanageable and I found this site. It has really changed my life.

I've also suffered from PTSD which is pretty much under control now. It flares up now and then.

I must say I've been depressed for years too, but I'm so used to it that it doesn't really bother me anymore.

I have 2 grown children who have 3 children between them. I also have a step daughter with 3 children. So I'm called MoMo, Nanny and Grandma. One of them calls me grandma MoMo. So I just answer to anything.

I'm also in California and I'm really enjoying this weather right now.

Hugs,
MG

[HollyR]

Welcome back to recovery!
And, news flash for you... If you're making changes in your recovery program you're not a 'retread'. Man! I also have survived relapses and I SOOO hate that term now. Anyhow, quick about who I am. I'm a mom of 2 girls, 7 and 10, I've been married to their dad for over 4 years, been with him over 13. I found AA in January 2001. I have never left the program or fellowship (THANK GOD!) but did have a week long relapse in April of this year, and a one day relapse/suicide attempt June 7th of this year. By the grace of God and AA I'm still here, alive and sober, and more at peace than I've been my entire life. As my new sponsor tells me, "I'm doing things different now, have made sobriety my number one priority, so thus, I am NOT a retread! Just learning, growing, making mistakes, and progressing... One day at a time" I love AA and am so glad that you made it back in one piece. Blessings to you, and know no matter what you go through (and it sounds like you have a full plate) you are NEVER alone :-)
Keep coming back,
Holly

[dailyreprieve]

MG,

I can see how joining this message board has changed your life, I just bounced onto this and already I feel a kinship to people here...and already I feel welcome and apart of. Yes, losing my mom and dad was and is the hardest thing I have ever had to face...death is so final, but it's only because of the faith I have, that I have managed to get through it...AA did not help me through the grief...I did not find a whole lot of support, and I found another place to deal with that...It is indescribable, and for months it crippled me...I thought for sure, not alcoholism, but grief was going to be the end of me....PTSD..is unexpected or unnatural events...death is a given, people live and die...but I can relate to the depression...anxiety and powerlessness I felt...and there was NOTHING i could do to escape it, and more than once I thought, I don't want to live .....and would beg God to take me with them...It was so hard, and you talk about feeling alone...It took me almost 7 months to even talk about my dads death, and then 2 months later my mom died in her sleep, so one more time...having no reprieve, it hit like gang busters and I was PISSED....Rage is more like it....and I felt like such a weak person...not handling it like I should...I should be strong...well, by not being strong, made me stronger in the end, if that makes sense...and there is just no way around the process of grief...there is no skipping corners...it just hits, like a tornado does, and in it's wake leave distruction and broken dreams, hearts all around...it's the only way to discribe how hard it was...People tell me, boy you are so strong....OH come on, you have NO idea...the trantrums I threw, and tears, .....truamatic things happen to every one....and mine is no more than yours..or anybodies...but unexpected natural event...ie 9/11, where there is no justice or explaination...or a person loses everything they own, in war...is sexually abused, that is worse...I admire your strength, and ability to seek help in not being able to handle your sons addiction, without judgement for the other addict/alcoholics out there,practicing or not, is truely amazing...YOu lived what I put my parents through, and the biggest gift I was able to give them was the gift of my sobriety...and I am sorry for that , but I was also given the opportunity to clean that wreckage up, with both my parents...don't give up on your son, let him go, but don't give up, you never know what will happen, and there are sure as heck a whole lot of prayers that get answered, but not in our time....

oh yes, nothing like california weather....I love this time of year.

Holly and dailyreprieve,

I'm glad you are both here. Thanks for sharing a part of your life here. We are all here to support each other. You are both doing well and I'm doing pretty good myself today.

There is a lot of experience, strength and hope on these boards. We laugh together and cry together and take turns holding each other up.

Welcome to the family.

Hugs,
MG

P.S. I've thrown many tantrums in my time too.

[JT]

Just wanted to say hi and welcome!

This is a good place to be. I too had a death this spring of someone close to me. I have a good program (Alanon) going but when something like that happens out of the blue it knocks the stuffing out of you. I felt depression for the first time in years and there is no avoiding it. No letting go...no detaching from it. You have to deal.

I think there are so many issues with all of us no matter what room we end up in. Addiction and codependency, relationships, anger, friends, family, guilt, regret and most of all unmanagablity.

Life can and will be good if you want it badly enough. Keep coming back.

JT

[Paulie]

I just want to pop in and welcome you also.

My name is Pauline and I have been blessed to have a couple few years of sobriety - one day at a time.

I am sorry for the loss of your parents.

sounds like you are making all the right moves, don't beat yourself up for a relapse, what is important is you found your way back.

I also live here in CA (and yes a great weather week MG).

this place is great for fellowship and support, a little different than a meeting, because we do share our opinions a little more, kinda of like cross talk which is not allowed at the meetings I attend. So it is helping my recovery in a little different way, and I love it!!

Again, welcome.

[Alison]

Please let me add my Hello and Welcome, too! I also live in California and love the warm weather we're having. I joined AA over 25 years ago and Alanon 23-1/2 years ago, so I consider myself a Double Winner (and I guess I'm an old-timer, too). Both programs have saved my life and my sanity. I want to offer you encouragement and support and my prayers as you progress in your sobriety. Remember, we strive for progress and not perfection!

I love all the simple little sayings because I started out with a very cob-webbed simple mind many moons ago and that's all I could absorb... simple things. But if you can keep on going to lots of meetings, get a sponsor, read all you can, keep coming back and share... you will come to know and experience the Promises.

I'm glad you're back. You're in the right place. When life has hit with all its forces sometimes, I've gotten thru it by being simple and repititious in asking God to provide me with all the strength and courage needed. He's pretty obliging.

I wish you everything good... all of you. Thanks for being here for me, too.

[Ann]

I also want to welcome you to the family. My son is an addict and I have been a worst-case codependent most of my life, until I found 12-step and this forum. They both saved my life.

We all may have taken different roads to get here, but in the end our recovery is the road we share and I am happy to share the journey with all the wonderful people here.

It is that time of year, also, where I do tend to be a little envious of the members from California . Toronto is setting into autumn and we all know what comes next....Brrrrrrrhhhh.