JessicaA.

[Seethelight]

That was my old screen name here. They wouldn't let me use my old one when I signed back up. I remember a lot of people here and also remember how much help it all was.

Unfortunately I did end up relapsing shortly after signing up for these boards, but after a 28 day stay in recovery, things have been working out so well. At first, I thought that I could continue being friends with the people I used with, but after I was released from the hospital again I decided to sever all ties and I'm glad I did. My boyfriend at the time was put in jail for distribution and many of my old friends are in serious trouble but seem to not want to quit at all.

After being clean for this long, I truly see the damage I did to my children. My oldest daughter has had a real hard time giving me back the responsibility of mom. She played the mommy role for so long with her siblings that we are constantly struggling over who is the boss.

I quit talking to my best friend while I was using because she was one of the main people that could see right through my lies and deception. We are friends again now and it's such a wonderful feeling. I remember praying to God to help me and if I could only get through the withdrawals without using again and see a glimpse of what it was like before I started using I would do everything I could for my sobriety and family. Well, He held His part of the bargain and even with my new charge against me, I'm handling things so much better than I even did before drug use. I honestly believe I have grown so much because of my past.

I'm not shaky at all anymore. I don't cry at the drop of a hat and I'm in control of my temper. It feels so good.

One problem I do have though is my sister. She has been back on Meth for sometime now and has even had all of her kids taken away again. In fact, she loses complete parental control on the 28th of this month. She says that she doesn't need to seek help because she knows all about it and it's not a matter of needing to quit, because she says she wants to be a drug addict. Active that is. She's brought a lot of danger down on the rest of the family. She brought some pretty shady people to my house and the weekend afterward my house was broken into and all my jewelry was stolen. She's also facing mandatory prison for over 100 distribution charges. She just doesn't see that she is headed for pure disaster and she should know this because she's been here before.

If anyone has any advice on what me or my family can do for her, I'd really appreciate it. Even after being clean for so long, I just don't have the answers and I don't want to lose my sister or my nephews.

Thanks again for listening and I hope everyone has a great sober day!!!

[Paulie]

Hi and welcome back.

As you well know there is nothing we can do for someone that does not want to stop using. Was there anything that your family could say to you? there sure wasn't for me. I remember saying the exact same thing your sister said 'I want to be an addict" well I dont' think I used the word addict, I said "I want to use, I wil use forever'. Well by the grace of God I haven't used in a couple few years.

Pray for your sister. I have a sister out there too, her kids are all grown, but still the effects of her using weighs on our family.

I will pray for both our sisters tonight.

[Seethelight]

Your so right Paulie. I'm just so saddened, but it's true, nobody could change me until I was ready to change myself. Thank you for your prayers and I will pray for out sisters also. My mom's prayers helped for me, so they will hopefully help for our family and friends who are still struggling.

Thank you and take care.