Just this addicts opinion....

[Paulie]

For me the going to meetings, working the steps, working with my sponsor, working with sponsees, all those things are part of the program. They do not MAKE me a good honest person. What makes me that today is ME. It is what I put into all those things, and for me most importantly is my relationship with my HP who I call God. I am not a religious person, but I am a spiritual person. I believe in a God, a power greater than myself that loves me and supports me in all good that I do. That loves me unconditional as I should love myself.

There seems to be this idea that going to meeting and even working the steps makes you a good person. I know people in the program that have been there for years, worked the steps several times and still are not people that I want to be close friends with. Just cause I sit in a meeting or even answer step questions doesn't make me an unselfish, wonderful person. It is what I put into it, what I open my heart and my spirit to receiving. What I take and learn from others.

I don't care if someone goes to meetings for 20 years, if they are lieing to their spouse, cheating on them, that has nothing to do with the meetings that is how the person chooses to live.

Me telling a lie today is a choice it has nothing to do with if I went to a meeting last night or not. I have the program inside me, I have tools, somedays I use them and some days I don't, it is that simple for me.

So if anyone thinks that either themselves or their spouses are supposed to be this wonderful people just cause they go to meetings or even work the steps, think again. Like anything else, you get out of something what you put into it.

If someone is putting their program before their family and saying that is what the program says to do, that is what a selfish program means, I disagree. What my program teaches me is to work on balance. Yes my program comes first, meaning my relationship with my HP comes first. Yes meeetings are important and sometimes and addict is at meetings instead of being home with their family, but again, that is where learning balance comes in.

I will say again and this is just my opinion, but if someone is lieing to their spouse or parent or whatever and in recovery, that is not reflection on the program, that is a reflection on the person.

For me I need to daily take a look at myself and what I am giving to others and even more important what I am taking from others.

I just felt like sharing my opinion, thanks for listening.

[51anna]

Paulie, you are absolutely right. There are 'good' people and 'bad' people in every aspect of our daily lives. It's all about being true to yourself and the connection between yourself and your HP.

My husband and my son (his clone) are two people who know inherently what is right and what is wrong. It's a quiet knowledge that makes it easy for them to make the right choice in any situation - no waffling, no agony, just do the right thing. And, it makes no difference if anyone is aware of their decision or not, none whatsoever. My son is the kind of person who will patiently unmix the recycle stuff if I accidently put paper in with plastic because it is the right thing to do. For me, who learned to lie as soon as I could talk (to save myself) it's been a battle to tell the truth and an area where I've only done well since I stopped drinking. I think being truthful every day is the road to serenity.

Love, Anna

[Chy]

Wow, thanks for sharing Paulie! Can't agree more! *hugs*

[namommy]

Paulie,

I am in spirit, standing on the roof tops, cheering and giving you a standing ovation.

You said it all. All that I have thought, felt and said to myself and to others over the years. You make me proud to be a women in recovery and to know another women like you.

:Terrific :bravo

[Phinneas]

Amen.



phinny

[cj.]

Thank You Paulie

Well said!

Peace
cj