i'm screwed

[candy15]

hi. don't mean to be rude with that thread title, but i do feel screwed. in other words, am high as a kite. am sorry. as sorry as i've been a million times before. what works? what the hell works? i've been humiliated. i've hated myself. i'm what you might call a high functioning alcoholic. that's me. i can function. but the thing that pisses me off is i know it's not true. i'm not really functioning. i'm harboring. oh how i wish there was a safe harbour. i cant' find it. i wonder when. i appreciate all of you who have bared your souls. it's so hard. i can't barely type this. i feel like the biggest loser. yet--and this is the funny thing (maybe it's alcohol?) i feel like i can do anything. i COULD change. I can be the best person. i can. but --- what will make it happen?? thanks, good people. so good to knowi'm not alone.

[Evanna]

Originally Posted by candy15

what works? what the hell works? .

Hi Candy,
AA works honey.

Warmest wishes
Evanna.

[In memory of miracle]

Yup..AA works , it really does .

[51anna]

You can make it happen Candy, only you!

Love, Anna

[splendra]

((((Candy))))

Thanx for sharing! My name is Lisa and I am an alcoholic....I encourage you to go to AA meetings and let people who have been where you are show you the way out.

When we are actively drinking we tend to hold on to the false belief that nobody could understand how we feel. I was a very high functoning drunk and workaholic and perfectionist....I was a perfect drunk!! HA HA

I started paying attention to how my body felt and it did not feel good. I knew that I was going down hill fast and that if I ever wanted to feel good again I had to stop drinking. After I stopped all my aches and pains melted away, my skin cleared up, and I felt and looked 10 years younger. I started having real fun after I gave myself sometime to clean up....

[Paulie]

Surrender, complete surrender. Admitting to myself that I am completely powerless over alcohal and drugs. Admiting that my life is miseral when I use and understanding that I can't do it alone, that I need a power greater than myself, and for me the fellowship of AA and NA. In the fellowship I learn the tools that help me not drink or use.

You can do this, you are not any different than anyone here that is sober, they have just surrendered already.

Dont' stop trying to quit, don't give up on yourself.

[indigo]

Hi there,
First off ou are not a 'loser' you have an addiction join the club LOL. Keep on wanting and trying you'll get it if you want it bad enough. Keep posting.
Hugs indigo

[Rowan]

Hi Candy
Greetings from another Canuck - I'm glad you're here. You've gotten some terrific advice on this thread; I just wanted to echo that AA does indeed work. As much as we are all different and 'unique', our common problem is addiction. Pick yourself up and try, try again. You can do it.
Love Rowan

[Roxann]

Candy....You can do it, turn to your Higher Power, and get to a meeting. ((HUGS)) and prayers.

[erino134]

Candy - 2 weeks ago i didn't buy it. I already do. AA really does work if you want it to. At least it is working so far - and I wasn't expecting that.

[2stop]

Boy do I know what it feels like to be screwed..and I was convinced for 20 years I was screwed..I could not stop drugs and I would rather die doing them than face life without them..the pain, the withdrawal, the fear was too much for me..yet time after time I fell so far down I begged God and everyone around me..what can I do??? What works?? I am almost sober a year now....it sounds very odd still to say that...I never imagined I could handle it. I don't believe there is only one program, or one type of support system to assist us..what I do believe for me was this..I HAD to step into the dark..I had to start floundering around in the unknown and the foreign to me. I had to be uncomfortable..and I fought it like crazy! Addicts don't like uncomfortable. But once I finally hammered it inot my head that I had to feel the pain, I had to walk THROUGH not around my problems..I slowly began toward the light..I didn't see any light of course, all I saw and felt and heard was PAIN.(those people were wrong! they were just 'lucky"! they were brainwashed! they weren't really like me...on a nd on....) I started by listening to people in the 12 steps program and have learned many valuable tools from them, but I also use many other resources....I don't consider myself a 12 stepper or anything else..just a fellow addcit walking a path of recovry using any and every tool I can find..and I have to fake it sometimes..my life isn't perfect, in fact many things right now are just plain bad..from my marriage to my finances to just about everything..BUT..I am sober and i face each challenge instead if hidinf in the chemicals.

NA may very well be for you.....a big reason I didn't use just 12 step programs was severe agoraphobia..I was kinda forced to look alternatively...just don't give up.....you can have peace and freedom too. Prays coming your way........

[wantneeda]

((((Candy))))) I'm originally from Calgary, I miss it soooo much!!!
I remember thinking I could be all I wanted to be and have my cake and eat it too....drinking, drugging and well, screwing myself of every good thing I COULD be or any good thing or person that crossed my path, it took me alot of years and a serious bottom....losing everything but my life to realize I am powerless over alcohol and drugs. Or should I say helpless before the power of them. either way the only thing that has worked for me is admitting and surrendering to.....a much better life without drowning and trying to escape reality not to mention trying to escape my self. Dang, wherever I went there I was!!!! By keeping it simple and not using my life has become better. I still fight with urges but I don't want to die!!! Today I didn't drink or do drugs, that's the only way for me today. Can you give it a try? Honestly you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!!! \\// peace

[Blessed]

Choose a new way of life...Blessings will follow! Willingness to change is the key.

[clancy!]

Hi there,

getting out and finding a group of sober freinds works...NA wasnt for me really,i didnt get on with that way of thinking, but I got into yoga and that really helped.Its great as it isnt just a workout, but a whole new way of thinking,breathing and being.Its wonderful when you start to hange, your body gets strong and streamlined, you learn to breathe properly, to handle desires for drink, its really effektive.also you meet folk with a different set of ideas. Its a great alternative to NA if you dont identify with that way of thinking.
hugs!