Death In A Members Family

[blackpearl]

Hello everyone..

After fighting with myself about attending a NA meeting today I did and I am grateful for it.. I found out that a member in the rooms has lost her 22 y/o daughter this weekend. I don't know this lady but I can feel the pain. I am grateful she was able to make a meeting to share her story. It made me think of all the times I took having my kids for granted, losing my brother, and other things... Please say a prayer for ummm, I will call her "Erin" but God knows who this lady is.. They don't know why she passed... blood test so far don't show anything.

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR BEING SOBER.... JUST FOR TODAY!

[jmcuster2002]

Today has been one of the hardest days of my life and my life in recovery. My mother is currently in the hospital dying from lung cancer and has worsened over the last two days.

I have much anxiety over pain from my past relationship with my mother the real dysfunctional relationship that we have had and the way she enabled me to continually play the victim.

I am really trying to rid myself of resentments but find my anger increasing, moment by moment.

I have written her a letter that I will bury with her, and I want it to end with her. I am fearful that it won't help me to gain closure, so ultimately I can gain serenity. HELP

Clean & Confused in Portland,

Jennifer C.

[Live]

HUGS!!!!

[Paulie]

Blackpearl -

I will pray for your friend. I also have someone, a friend here in my fellowship that recently lost her sister to a drug overdose. She shares about it alot in meetings and that is awesome, but she is struggling with stayign clean through the grief. God Bless you for being in that meeting to and being a part of her recovery, we all need each other.

Jennifer - I am sorry that you are going through this. Writing a letter is a really good thing. Just take it slow, one day at a time. Don't think that you will never get over the resentments that you feel, you really don't know that. Just think about today and try and let it go for just today. For me anyway, I can't think long term like that, I get all knotted up inside and think never never will I be able to let this go. My sponsor tells me, just one day at a time. For just today, the next hour when the resentment pops into your head or a bad thought or feeling, say a prayer to let it go. Do that everytime, and it will get easier I promise.

You are in my prayers. And keep posting here about your feelings, that is a really good thing. Remember you are clean and that is a GREAT thing!!!!!!!!!!