Fighting a negative attitude - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

beezylou · 01-14-2005, 11:26 PM

Good evening and my week has been so crappy.
I cannot seem to find a common ground with my husband....he is making me so upset. It has been 3 weeks since is used prescription drugs and I am wanting to take some pills and am struggling a little.

I will not do it though. as hard as it is....I am stronger than that and I have got to remember that.
I feel like I am invisible in this house. It isnt like I want a marching band and a spotlight to follow me around I just would like to feel needed for more...
I am just a little confused today. I feel like my marraige is teetering on the edge of the abyss. I dont know if I would be that upset if it fell off.

Is this normal to find yourself falling out of love as your mind clears ??
I am not one to focus on the negative..I am not a nag....Why cant he grab my hand when I reach out to him. He is always gone and I cant get him to open up? I have been honest about so many things, things that I thought I could never tell anyone....yet he has to lie about the smallest things/?? I am so bummed about this. hope i didnt get anyone bummed. I feel better already...as always thanks for listening.

beezylou

Roxann · 01-14-2005, 11:34 PM

Wow, I wish I could give you some marital advice but instead I'll offer you prayers and many many ((HUGS)) We are here to grab your hand when you need to reach out.

***Anna*** · 01-15-2005, 06:37 AM

Hi Beezy,

I think it is totally normal to feel all kinds of things as your mind clears. I think my life had become like yours - I felt so taken for granted by teenage kids and husband and did nothing for myself. When I stopped drinking there were so many emotions that I had to deal with. I had to accept my role in getting myself into the spot I was in, which was allowing myself to be a martyr. I took on the role. Also I was so dependent on my husband for validation of whatever I did. Thankfully I have been able to become much more autonomous. I also had to look at my families part in the situation too and there was a lot of resentment on my part for awhile. Why didn't they...?

The thing is when you first become sober you are going to experience a lot of change in your feelings. What you feel now about your relationship may very well change as time goes by and you get more perspective.

Love, Anna

In memory of miracle · 01-15-2005, 06:44 AM

Beezylou-hang in there,it is a wild ride in the begining.Congradulations on your 3 weeks that is great!Soon you will see the beauty in a drug free world.Bless,Trish

01-14-2005, 11:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
beezylou Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield,Mo Posts: 19	Fighting a negative attitude Good evening and my week has been so crappy. I cannot seem to find a common ground with my husband....he is making me so upset. It has been 3 weeks since is used prescription drugs and I am wanting to take some pills and am struggling a little. I will not do it though. as hard as it is....I am stronger than that and I have got to remember that. I feel like I am invisible in this house. It isnt like I want a marching band and a spotlight to follow me around I just would like to feel needed for more... I am just a little confused today. I feel like my marraige is teetering on the edge of the abyss. I dont know if I would be that upset if it fell off. Is this normal to find yourself falling out of love as your mind clears ?? I am not one to focus on the negative..I am not a nag....Why cant he grab my hand when I reach out to him. He is always gone and I cant get him to open up? I have been honest about so many things, things that I thought I could never tell anyone....yet he has to lie about the smallest things/?? I am so bummed about this. hope i didnt get anyone bummed. I feel better already...as always thanks for listening. beezylou

01-14-2005, 11:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
Roxann Learning to love me. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: on my way Posts: 621	Wow, I wish I could give you some marital advice but instead I'll offer you prayers and many many ((HUGS)) We are here to grab your hand when you need to reach out. __________________ Roxann I'm struggling!!!

01-15-2005, 06:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 22,832	Hi Beezy, I think it is totally normal to feel all kinds of things as your mind clears. I think my life had become like yours - I felt so taken for granted by teenage kids and husband and did nothing for myself. When I stopped drinking there were so many emotions that I had to deal with. I had to accept my role in getting myself into the spot I was in, which was allowing myself to be a martyr. I took on the role. Also I was so dependent on my husband for validation of whatever I did. Thankfully I have been able to become much more autonomous. I also had to look at my families part in the situation too and there was a lot of resentment on my part for awhile. Why didn't they...? The thing is when you first become sober you are going to experience a lot of change in your feelings. What you feel now about your relationship may very well change as time goes by and you get more perspective. Love, Anna __________________ And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

01-15-2005, 06:44 AM	#4 (permalink)
In memory of miracle In Memory Of Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Connecticut. Posts: 3,738	Beezylou-hang in there,it is a wild ride in the begining.Congradulations on your 3 weeks that is great!Soon you will see the beauty in a drug free world.Bless,Trish __________________ In Memory Of Teach only love...

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