Im New here!!

[MsScorpion]

Hi All
Id like to introduce myself, My friends call me Dee and for 2 years now my life has been hell. 2 years ago i had a happy home, a loving husband (so i thought) a great daughter and no addictions what so ever. I used to think "how do people get addicted to things ie alcohol, drugs?"
Then the bombshell came, my husband was married to another woman as well as me and had a whole other life i knew nothing about. I truly though i would die from a broken heart, but then i found alcohol . At first it was just a few glasses of wine a night, to take the edge off the pain, then a bottle. Soon a bottle wasnt enough so id buy 2 just in case. Then 2 wasnt enough because what if i ran out, so along comes the 4 litre cask of wine (much cheapers also).
I though it was ok because i never drank b4 6pm!!
Then i couldnt remember things id done, id wake up at 4am sprawled on the lounge drink spilt all over the floor.
Each morning id wake up and say "not tonight" but found an excuse to drink anyway. I stopped going out with friends, because if i went out i had to drive then i couldnt drink.
a week ago i did something im to ashamed to even say
the next day i rang my local hospital and made an appointment with a Drug and alcohol counsellor. Next week i am booked into a medical de -tox unit for a 14 day stay, then have booked into a womens group once a week.
Im really scared but also releaved to finally be doing something about it. Im nervous as hell about going into de tox and have no idea what to expect. I am hoping now i have foind this site i will have 24hr home support as well. Just reading all of your posts has given me strenght.
Anyway thanks for giving me the opportunity to vent my fears.
Dee :xmasv

[SamanthaK]

back in august i turned 21 and really drank a lot. i've been drinking since i was 12 though, turning 21 gave me an excuse to drink even more. the drinking was only part of my problem, meth was my major problem...2 weeks after my birthday i decided i was either going to kill myself or get help. i called the crisis hotline and was referred to detox. i didn't even realize that detox existed. i had a rough time coming down off the meth and was there 8 days and it was hard. i knew that 8 days wasn't going to fix me so i checked into a 30 inpatient rehab and that really did wonders and planted the seed of recovery in my mind and in my heart. i knew that 38 days of sobriety hadn't made me strong enough to go back out in the streets...so i moved from KCK to colorado into a 6 month program or sober living home. i ended up getting kicked out though for fraternizing (talking to a man also in recovery) but i've been clean and sober almost 4 months and go to 5 AA meetings a week. you know, detox is going to be scary, but it's worth it. it's the beginning of a new life and the miracles have already started to happen in my sobriety. just keep an open mind, trust in a higher power and be strong, if i can do it you can do it. i try not getting overconfident, but i want sobriety so much and i am willing to go to any length to get it. good luck, you can do it

[cattlover]

Hi Dee,

My friends call me Heather. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for doing something about the problem and not living in a bottle. That is no life. I am 42 yrs old and have been clean and sober 17 years. I am Canadian and I live in Shanghai, China. You know how this all came to be? I went to meetings, I shared what was going on and I realized deep down inside that drinking and drugging were not going to fix anything like going through it sober would. Reach out, don't think you can do it by yourself.....this is SOOOOO important. Don't be afraid to ask for help, there is nothing wrong with asking, we want to help. As for your ex-husband...let God take care of him. He messed up royally and what goes around comes around. Remember....one day at a time. Plan for tomorrow but live today.

Heather

[splendra]

((((DEE)))))

Welcome to sober recovery.....that was a really good vent! Keep posting and reaching out and see how fast you get well.

[Phinneas]

((((Dee))))

Welcome. I am so proud of you for taking action to get out of the hole you are in. Isn't it sad that alcohol can so quickly become a bigger problem than the one we were trying to avoid. We've all been in that hole, Dee. There is a way out and you are taking it. Stick around. You'll find lots and lots of support here.

Hang in there. You are on the right track.

jojo

[boop64132]

Welcome to SR Dee!
Most of us have done something while drinking that we are really ashamed of.
The thing is not to beat yourself up over it.Change things!
There is a whole new sober life out there,just waiting on you.

Welcome!

[spirit]

hey dee, welcome, another aussie and another scorpio haha
i am on the west coast, where be you. i know that trick of going from one bottle to two then the box of wine haha, then i found i could drink a 4 litre box in two days so went back to the two bottles a night.

you have found a good place - keep posting

cheers
kath aka spirit

[Evanna]

Hi Dee,
Great to read that you are taking so many positive steps. Big welcome to forum.

[bubblze30]

Welcome to this wonderful site Dee. Glad you found us. I love to meet new people on this site because I know it is growing and it is helping me stay clean so I know it can help you.
I know you are having a tough time right now being you just realized you have a problem and you are taking action. I must applaud you though. When i first thought I had a problem I just used more to try not to deal with it. You are taking action so way to go. The first thing you must do is not get into a relationship lots of times in detoxes you get feelings back they all come to life at once and we usually don't know what to do with all these feelings. So no detox romance!!! Next hang in there you will meat some great people but stick to the ones who are seriouss about getting clean some goto detox just for a spin dry or they are forced and don't really want it. You will understand when you see it. Just hang in there and you will be ok. Make sure you have a plan when you get out of detox like a support group or daily meetings these will help you stay clean. I will be here and so will everyone else when you get back. So please come and let us know how your detox went. You sound like you really want this so hold on tight it's a bumpy ride full of emotions but well worth it. We spend so much time hiding our feeling that when finally sober they all rush out of us very quickly. You will be ok trust that and we will all be here when you get out. Take this time to get to know yourself again to know you are ok and you will make it through this and anything else that may come your way.

[51anna]

Hi Dee,

Welcome! I was surprised too when I realized that I had become an alcoholic! How did that happen?? The good news is that you can regain control of your life. You're taking all the right steps and there's lots of support here.

Love, Anna

[cj.]

Welcome Dee:

It's really great to hear that you are doing something positive to help save your life!!

We are here to support you if you need us, but the work ultimately rests with you. Keep an open mind and an open heart to find the healing that you need.

Take Care and God Bless, as you go into treatment. My thoughts and prayers go with you.

cj

[MsScorpion]

Dear All,
Thankyou all so much for your comforting words. I related to everything you all said. It does creep up on you that you have a problem then you try to deny it, hide from it.
I am a bit frightened about de-tox but i am going in with the thought "i am here for a reason and that is to regain my life" Another thing that worries me is that i started to drink to escape the pain of my husbands other life and child and its been 2 years and i feel like im over him but will all that pain return once im sober "oh well it doesnt matter because i need to fix this so even if the pain returns i guess i will deal with it in a different way this time, counselling!"
Alot of people mention romance in detox I would have though thats the last place youd get with someone but you have mentioned it and so did my counsellar so it must happen!!
Well one husband who had 2 wives is way enough for me I will steer clear of that !!!
Anyway im so glad to have found this site and i appreciate all of you.
Deexx
Bubblez i love the picture, is that your daughter...it reminds me of myself and my lil girl

[namommy]

Dee,

Welcome to SR. there is no reason to be afraid of detox. It is a safe environment for you to start learning the tools you will need for living with out alcohol. Embrace the opportunity. and by the way..."way to go on taking that first step to recovery".

[Cathy31]

Dee
Good for you! This is a great place, you will get lots of love and support here. Many of us know exactly what you're going through....thank GOd you have done the brave thing and checked into detox. Don't be afraid, it's a real opportunity for you. I am so sorry for what you had to go through, let's hope that at the very least it results in some wonderful healing for you.

Well done!! Keep us posted as to how you get on!

((((hugs))))
Cathy31