Fainting/shock

[nodope]

Real quick. I know everyone is super busy today. I just wanted to share a little guilt. I'm alright now, but I was going through it.

On Thursday my daughter was home from school. I yelled upstairs to her she had mail. She came down the steps, and fell. I saw her do it. She hit her cocyx bone, and had slipped about four steps. Didn't hit her head or anything. She stood up, and said "Owww. My tailbone". I went to check her, and she said "HELP!!! MOMMY I'm going out". Dead weight. Her eyes rolled back in her head.

Ladie, can I tell you I have NEVER EVER saw anything like that in my life. The color......like she looked like a person in those horror movies. WHITE LIPS. My mom kept talking to her. I called the ambulance. Here she went into shock. They did all kinds of tests at the hospital. We have more to follow.

Here's my guilt. In the ER after they had stabilized her she said "It wasn't the fall. It was when I thought Oh I could have just paralyzed myself" She then relays.......O.K. here it is......"The day I fainted in school, and you had to get me......it wasn't a movie on abortion......it was a movie on drugs, and they showed heroin overdoses......I thought that could be you mom". She started crying. Here when she fainted in school last month they said it was a graphic movie, but she lied, and didn't tell me it was about drugs.

I feel AWFUL. I looked at her on that gurney, and I said "Baby I am right here, and I will always be right here, and you will never, ever have to worry that will happen to me. That is impossible right now.

Apparently there is a condition similar to epilepsy where a person goes into shock from their own thoughts of harm or death to their loved ones or self. My dad died on Christmas morning of a massive heart attack a few years ago. She was only ten, and watched her beloved Poppy die. The Doctor said possibly seeing how quick one could die can trigger this thought process.

Ahhhh. Thanks for listening everyone. Boy do I feel awful, but I thought "Hey if I was out there I wouldn't even have been home when this happened". Just trying to keep going here. Hope everyone has a safe, and blessed day. Thanks again.

[rogersgirl6937]

nodope,

So glad that your daughter wasn't terribly hurt! And remember that the best amends we can make to anyone is to stay clean and change our old behavior. Grateful along with you that you were home when it happened.

Have a very Merry Christmas. God bless you!

Love and Fellowship,
rogersgirl6937

[nodope]

You are so kind Rog. Thank you for your concern.

You are absolutely correct that the best amends is staying clean.

I'm praying for your son as well as you, Rog. I truly hope he is doing better today. Let us know, please.

[namommy]

Hey Nodope,

I am glad to hear your daughter is OK. The wreckage of our past doesn't just affect us. It affects everyone around us. Like Rog said, the best amend is to stay clean and continue to recover. I went through issues with my kids as well when I first got clean. They are so used to me being clean now that those thoughts don't even enter their minds any more (we have talked about it). You will get there.

[mizeeyore]

Just a thought here, but shock and fainting are both a body's way of protecting itself from further damage sometimes. Sorta like a blown fuse, a type of overload protection. Some folks can't stand the sight of blood and pass out. When I break a bone, no matter how small, I'll vomit within seconds. Makes no sense at all, but that's what happens. I'm not sure I'd spend so much time feeling guilty as I would maybe offer her some tools to use in coping with reality to soften the impact a bit, maybe before she goes all the way to "out cold". And when you stop to think about it, aren't you glad you're clean and sober so that she has the confidence to call to you when she's in trouble? This may sound kind of wierd, but as a recovering alkie/addict, I worry about my daughter coping with the extremes in life by turning to drugs or alcohol. Given a choice between the two, I would almost be grateful if she passed out instead!! As a parent, I'm glad I have the wisdom of The Program to pass on to my kid, so that maybe she won't be the fourth generation alcoholic/addict.

[Paulie]

WOW the reality of the disease in our face or what?

I am with you on the amends, actions. I am glad she is OK.