coping with a clean christmas

[clancy!]

Hi girls,

I know this sound really lame but im finding my clean christmas so dull, im really depressed.My partner is working so i'll be alone.There are invitations I could have taken up but I know there will be people using and drinking there.A week or so ago I thought 'no problem, ill just read and watch tv play with my camera and stuff....but now suddenley im so fed up.its so quiet and ive just got nothing to do and no one to talk to!! How pathetic and loserish does that sound?? Im just kicking around an empty house! This is tough,I hate christmas,i dont mean to be intimidated by the stupid day and didnt think I would be...but....: (

[clancy!]

I an hear the words' gratitude list forming on paulies lips right now.... okay, ill go and make one.. tsk,tsk... my partner will be home on boxing day then his children are comming over for a few days,which will keep me busy...! oh I have loads of things to be grateful about! I need some motivation! im so lazy right now! I need a rocket under my ass!

[Anna]

Hang in there Clancy! I hope you enjoy your Christmas and you can look forward to Boxing Day and a busy time.

Love, Anna

[Paulie]

(((Clancy))) you are a smart girl. Yes, gratitude. I am alone today to, lonely and kinda depressing. Everyone has something to do but me. I could be at my moms...but I will be there later tonight. So here I sit also. Quiet house. but you know what clancy? I am grateful cause I know I will be of sound mind tonight to enjoy both my family and my husbands family and tomorrow I will wake up without any kind of hangover or feeling sick from doing dope and not sleeping.

Yes....we may be alone today....but the payoff for spending today alone far out weights the lonlines..

You are doing great kiddo.

[Paulie]

Clancy -

This thread just put a rocket under my ass to get up from this computer and do something for myself.

thank you!

[Runnerchick119]

i understand how you feel, whats christmas without eating and eating? Im not sure Ive never had one since Ive was little. Its sad that I want christmas to be over because all of the parties and such are messing up my eating and recovery- mostly because I am letting it! Stay strong- I will keep you all in my prayers

Merry Christmas!! :xmasp

[Mouse]

Hi all, I am new here & need to share. I too am alone tonight & have been for the last three weeks. What has been brought to my attention is that whatever it is we all "used" was because we felt alone & lonely. The books say we must get out & work with another to get out of our loneliness....Something like that anyway. And that is what I have been doing, staying in contact with others in recovery, lending an ear, a hand or simply just being with others gets me out of myself. I am truly grateful for every day C&S, but know one said it would be easy every day. Thanks for letting me share & helping me grow today.

[rogersgirl6937]

Clancy,

Enjoy your Christmas, alone or not! Things could always be worse. I'm writing from the hospital room of my 17 year old son who went into kidney failure on Tuesday. His blood pressure has been sky high and so has his pulse rate. He started dialysis on Wednesday. He hasn't been able to keep anything down until yesterday. But, praise God, this morning his BP and pulse are within normal ranges. I'm surrounded by my other children, family members, and friends as we struggle through this. They don't even know why it's happened. But, thanks to my Higher Power and this program I don't have to use this as an excuse to use. And I am even feeling a bit of serenity. I'm sorry you're alone during the holidays, but you still have us! Say a prayer for me and my family as you bounce around today, will you please? Have a blessed Christmas!!

Love and Fellowship,
rogersgirl6937

[clancy!]

RG,Sorry to hear that your son is poorly. I will pray for his speedy rcovery. Hope you have a reasonable day.xx

[clancy!]

Oof! well ive gotten thru today with my sobriety intakt....yay! its been okay really i did some meditation and yoga this afternoon,it helps me to be kalmer....I hope you all have had a great day...spesial love to Paulie, grin, you are a wise lady Paulie,I wish I knew you in person.
hugs

[possum1]

Greetings to you all .. well, I guess it is Christmas in America today. We had ours yesterday and I am so glad it is over! A love it and hate it at the same time. This is my first post. I am a little too depressed to introduce myself properly. suffice to say I am married to a workaholic, i am on anti-depressants, have six gorgeous children (two are stepchildren) no financial issues but weight issues since I was a teenager (ie nearly 30 years) and I cannot fight it anymore. I have so many books on diets, exercise, (how not to diet!), been to forums, workshops, tried weightwatchers, pills and potions oh this is boring .. I wish you all the best for the following year 2005, as I get to know some of you

[Live]

Clancy,
I too have been alone and feeling lonely today. I am not going to deny my feelings.
I did some nice things for others this morning. But I will be glad for tomorrow. It is hard knowing that all my family are gathered together, here and there. I kept hoping one of them would email me. I feel forgotten. I envy you the yoga. I am going back to my usual MO...to bed with a book. Sleep. Oblivion. One day at a time, and tomorrow is another.

Condolences to Rogersgirl. I am glad there has been an improvement. How scary. Sending you prayers and hugs.

[saac]

rg and 1 my prayers are with you. Christmas is rough on everyone in different ways. This site has helped my stay sober for 9 days now. I love it and the people are great. If I wrote a grateful list it now would be so long. As if I wrote a list 10 days ago there would not be half of what there is today. Not that I wasnt grateful but the clouds in my head would not let me see that. I had more hate for others and myself to see the big picture. Some of it I want to see and I have found that some of it I don't want to see right now. But never the less I can see

[clancy!]

live, why dont you try a little yoga?

it has been a life saver for me, and learning how to breathe properly is the foudation of good health,really! Yoga is easily adapted to any physical limitations you have,it is not about perfectly executing the full poses, you go as far into a pose that is comfortable for you,never,ever to the point of pain or discomfort - it should feel good.Even wheel chair bound people can benefit from adapted poses. The associated breathing exercises alone are incredibly beneficial,its a marvellous source in recovery, along with meditation,which is wonderful to do after a session. if you have an animal,watch how they move and stretch - Ive learned so much from my dog Dylan,believe it or not!! give it a try-have a look on line to see what resources are available. I reccommend a proper teacher if you have physical limitations tho.

hugs xx

[rogersgirl6937]

Clanc,

Hope you made it through the holidays in one piece. I wish there was someplace in the hospital where I could try to do something, even some simple stretching. I'm sure it would help with the stress, but there isn't.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. You are greatly appreciated! You are my main source of recovery right now cuz I haven't been able to get away to a meeting since last week.

God bless you all.

Love and Fellowship,
rogersgirl6937

[jazpoppy]

White knuckled it as much as I could, but gave in to some percocet, feeling mighty low, but will keep starting over until I get it!!! How are you Clanc?

Jaz

[clancy!]

I am ok, not bad. I had one small bloop with my taper on boxing day, an extra pill,oops.since then ive gotten back on track but it kind of depressed me that i gave in,even just a little bit.back to toughing it out now...its a long ole journey huh?

Im so upset over the earthquake and attendant tsunamis though.I have visited and loved most of the stricken areas,I was there on the east coast of india only a few weeks ago,now the people i met could be dead.Its very hard to grasp the sheer scale of this disaster.Apart from giving a little money there is not so much I can do,i hate that helpless feeling.Its a very sad time for our world.