Having a bad day - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

LOST ANGEL · 11-02-2004, 11:06 AM

Hey Ladies, I need to let out what I'm feeling today, I'm having thoughts of using and I really dont want to but I cant seem to get it out of my head. My husband and I are going through some rough times, he wants me to fix things between us and I dont know how to. We have built us a wall between us and we are not communicating. I know I need to show him that I love him but I'm not really liking myself right now and thats makes it difficult to me to show him that I love him. Today is day 17 and I've been praying all morning to keep me strong today and not use.

ButterflyChaser · 11-02-2004, 11:44 AM

(((((((((((((((((Lost Angel))))))))))))))))

Congrats to you on 17 days!! You should be so proud of yourself! (I am

)
You & your husband need to "BOTH" fix things between ya'll. Can't be just you (1 person0 it takes 2!!
Good Luck...I hope you feel better

Paulie · 11-02-2004, 12:47 PM

Keep praying...keep talking about it. It will pass, get through today just hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to. Just don't use, it will make things worse. Make a gratitude list, read it over and over today. Sometimes when I make a list I am just grateful that Iwoke that day or that the sun is shining, the simpilest things can get is through the day, really they can.

Congrats on your 17 days that is GREAT and you should be proud of yourself. There is alot of things going on with your right now with 17 days clean.

What kind of support have you set up for yourself? surround yourself with supportive people.

things will get better with your husband, the wall didn't go up in one day, and it will slowly come down.

Just don't use today!

Vela D. · 11-02-2004, 02:10 PM

Congats on your 17 days.
Go to a meeting, get some phone numbers, get a sponsor.
Maybe you all can go to couseling together to save your marriage.
Whatever happens don't pick up.
I'm not having the best time in life right now, but if I don't pick up then I have a chance and so do you.

Keep commin back ! Keep commin back !

Love you,Vela

**51anna** · 11-02-2004, 02:46 PM

Hi Lost Angel,

Congratulations! I hope you can be patient about fixing the problems between you and your husband. You're still fairly early in sobriety and it might take a little time. I hope that your husband will accept that it took two of you to create the problems in your marriage and it will take two of you to fix things. You need to concentrate on your sobriety and things will fall into place.

Love, Anna

LOST ANGEL · 11-02-2004, 02:52 PM

Thanks ladies, I keep telling myself just 5 more minutes then just 5 more minutes, lol
But I'm still clean today. The gratitude list sounds like a great idea, I'm going to give it a shot. And yes I'm going to a meeting tonight and I cant wait to get there. As for my husband I know it takes two but I do have to say that he has been doing all the trying while I've been going back and fourth on my recovery for 2 years now. I know he's losing patience with me and our marriage and I have a wonderful husband that I have just let down over and over. I dont want to loose him and our marriage.

namommy · 11-02-2004, 06:21 PM

I am glad to hear you are hanging on. Congrats on your 17 days!!

One thing that I hold onto when things are getting bad, "As long as I don't pick up, there is always HOPE". Do you have a Basic Text? If so, read the Recovery and Relapse chapter. It helped me early on.

wastedtime4me · 11-02-2004, 07:33 PM

Congrats on your 17 days~How did your meeting go?I hope it helped you get through your rough spot~
Sometimes hubby's can be very insensitive to what we are going through and try to push~Have you tried counseling?Tell ing him you need to go very slow because you dont want to relapse?
I am not in the best of relationships so i may not be the one to give advice here but i want to help.I sure can feel your pain~
Post again soon and let us know how you are doing!
{{{{bighugs}}}}

cj. · 11-02-2004, 08:44 PM

((((( LOST ANGEL )))))

Congrats on 17 days!!

Hang in there, don't use and you will find that your problems will become victories one day.

cj

bubblze30 · 11-03-2004, 05:59 AM

You will have times in your life you want to just say fu** it. The thing you need to know is if you follow these feelings you will be back to square one. If you fight the feeling and work through your problems you will find it makes you stronger for the next temptation and you will also see you can handle stressful situations with out the use of a substance it's a great feeling not to use. When it passes you will see the rewards.

LOST ANGEL · 11-03-2004, 09:45 AM

Ohhhhh, I made it, today is day 18 and I feel so much stronger today. My meeting last night was wonderful, I got re-fueld again. Bubblze, you are so right, I would have had to go back to square one and I DONT want to do that. Also I do feel stronger today because I worked through it yesterday. You guys really helped me out, I would really like to know about the basic text, is that the big book???

wastedtime4me · 11-03-2004, 11:01 AM

Congrats {{{{{{{{{{lostangel}}}}}}}}on Your 19 Days!!!!!!!!!! You May Need A Name Chane Now..lol

**Phinneas** · 11-03-2004, 01:59 PM

Yes, the basic text is the Big Book. If you don't have one and have not read it, I recommend you run, don't walk to the nearest store and buy it. It really explains a lot and will help you immensely in your recovery. Keep going to meetings. I am so proud of you for reaching out for help when you fely like using. That's huge and it worked, didn't it?

I lost my husband because of my addiction and of all of the other devestating things that happened, that one has been my most overwhelming regret. I hope and pray you don't have to go there, too. The best thing you can do to prevent it is to stay sober and really work an honest recovery program. I'm rooting for you!

jojo

LOST ANGEL · 11-03-2004, 02:18 PM

Thanks JoJo, I really appreciate you sharing about your husband. Thats my biggest fear because I KNOW I would regret it. I do have the big book, actually I've decided to keep it in my car so its always with me. The part that you said I should read, is that the chapter "A Vision of Recovery"? that you mentioned earlier. Sounds good to me!

namommy · 11-03-2004, 04:16 PM

Lost Angel,

The Basic Text is the Narcotics Anonymous book. If you get to a meeting, they sell them there, or if you don't have the money, they will give you one.

cj. · 11-03-2004, 04:25 PM

(((( LOST ANGEL ))))

Just to set the record straight, The Basic Text is not The Big Book.

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous addresses the 12 Step program of AA.

The Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous addresses the 12 Step program of NA.

Both are seperate and distinct programs of recovery.

cj

11-02-2004, 11:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
LOST ANGEL Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: SANTEE,CA Posts: 21	Having a bad day Hey Ladies, I need to let out what I'm feeling today, I'm having thoughts of using and I really dont want to but I cant seem to get it out of my head. My husband and I are going through some rough times, he wants me to fix things between us and I dont know how to. We have built us a wall between us and we are not communicating. I know I need to show him that I love him but I'm not really liking myself right now and thats makes it difficult to me to show him that I love him. Today is day 17 and I've been praying all morning to keep me strong today and not use.

11-02-2004, 11:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
ButterflyChaser Meow! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Posts: 1,023	(((((((((((((((((Lost Angel)))))))))))))))) Congrats to you on 17 days!! You should be so proud of yourself! (I am ) You & your husband need to "BOTH" fix things between ya'll. Can't be just you (1 person0 it takes 2!! Good Luck...I hope you feel better __________________ "If a Child feels Safe, Wanted & Loved, You are a Successful Parent!" ~~"A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers!!~~

11-02-2004, 12:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	Keep praying...keep talking about it. It will pass, get through today just hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to. Just don't use, it will make things worse. Make a gratitude list, read it over and over today. Sometimes when I make a list I am just grateful that Iwoke that day or that the sun is shining, the simpilest things can get is through the day, really they can. Congrats on your 17 days that is GREAT and you should be proud of yourself. There is alot of things going on with your right now with 17 days clean. What kind of support have you set up for yourself? surround yourself with supportive people. things will get better with your husband, the wall didn't go up in one day, and it will slowly come down. Just don't use today! __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

11-02-2004, 02:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Vela D. One day at a time ! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 29	Lost angel Congats on your 17 days. Go to a meeting, get some phone numbers, get a sponsor. Maybe you all can go to couseling together to save your marriage. Whatever happens don't pick up. I'm not having the best time in life right now, but if I don't pick up then I have a chance and so do you. Keep commin back ! Keep commin back ! Love you,Vela __________________ Easy does it !

11-02-2004, 02:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,030	Hi Lost Angel, Congratulations! I hope you can be patient about fixing the problems between you and your husband. You're still fairly early in sobriety and it might take a little time. I hope that your husband will accept that it took two of you to create the problems in your marriage and it will take two of you to fix things. You need to concentrate on your sobriety and things will fall into place. Love, Anna __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

11-02-2004, 02:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
LOST ANGEL Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: SANTEE,CA Posts: 21	Thanks ladies, I keep telling myself just 5 more minutes then just 5 more minutes, lol But I'm still clean today. The gratitude list sounds like a great idea, I'm going to give it a shot. And yes I'm going to a meeting tonight and I cant wait to get there. As for my husband I know it takes two but I do have to say that he has been doing all the trying while I've been going back and fourth on my recovery for 2 years now. I know he's losing patience with me and our marriage and I have a wonderful husband that I have just let down over and over. I dont want to loose him and our marriage.

11-02-2004, 06:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,711	I am glad to hear you are hanging on. Congrats on your 17 days!! One thing that I hold onto when things are getting bad, "As long as I don't pick up, there is always HOPE". Do you have a Basic Text? If so, read the Recovery and Relapse chapter. It helped me early on. __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. --Anonymous

11-02-2004, 07:33 PM	#8 (permalink)
wastedtime4me ~FEELS SO ALIVE~ Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: In A sTaTe Of HaPPiNeSS Posts: 643	Congrats on your 17 days~How did your meeting go?I hope it helped you get through your rough spot~ Sometimes hubby's can be very insensitive to what we are going through and try to push~Have you tried counseling?Tell ing him you need to go very slow because you dont want to relapse? I am not in the best of relationships so i may not be the one to give advice here but i want to help.I sure can feel your pain~ Post again soon and let us know how you are doing! {{{{bighugs}}}} __________________ ~WaStEdTiMe4Me~

11-02-2004, 08:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
cj. Mending Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Atlantic Canada Posts: 300	((((( LOST ANGEL ))))) Congrats on 17 days!! Hang in there, don't use and you will find that your problems will become victories one day. cj

11-03-2004, 05:59 AM	#10 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	You will have times in your life you want to just say fu** it. The thing you need to know is if you follow these feelings you will be back to square one. If you fight the feeling and work through your problems you will find it makes you stronger for the next temptation and you will also see you can handle stressful situations with out the use of a substance it's a great feeling not to use. When it passes you will see the rewards. __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

11-03-2004, 09:45 AM	#11 (permalink)
LOST ANGEL Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: SANTEE,CA Posts: 21	Ohhhhh, I made it, today is day 18 and I feel so much stronger today. My meeting last night was wonderful, I got re-fueld again. Bubblze, you are so right, I would have had to go back to square one and I DONT want to do that. Also I do feel stronger today because I worked through it yesterday. You guys really helped me out, I would really like to know about the basic text, is that the big book???

11-03-2004, 11:01 AM	#12 (permalink)
wastedtime4me ~FEELS SO ALIVE~ Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: In A sTaTe Of HaPPiNeSS Posts: 643	Congrats {{{{{{{{{{lostangel}}}}}}}}on Your 19 Days!!!!!!!!!! You May Need A Name Chane Now..lol __________________ ~WaStEdTiMe4Me~

11-03-2004, 01:59 PM	#13 (permalink)
Phinneas Forum Leader Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy Posts: 2,596	Yes, the basic text is the Big Book. If you don't have one and have not read it, I recommend you run, don't walk to the nearest store and buy it. It really explains a lot and will help you immensely in your recovery. Keep going to meetings. I am so proud of you for reaching out for help when you fely like using. That's huge and it worked, didn't it? I lost my husband because of my addiction and of all of the other devestating things that happened, that one has been my most overwhelming regret. I hope and pray you don't have to go there, too. The best thing you can do to prevent it is to stay sober and really work an honest recovery program. I'm rooting for you! jojo

11-03-2004, 02:18 PM	#14 (permalink)
LOST ANGEL Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: SANTEE,CA Posts: 21	Thanks JoJo, I really appreciate you sharing about your husband. Thats my biggest fear because I KNOW I would regret it. I do have the big book, actually I've decided to keep it in my car so its always with me. The part that you said I should read, is that the chapter "A Vision of Recovery"? that you mentioned earlier. Sounds good to me!

11-03-2004, 04:16 PM	#15 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,711	Lost Angel, The Basic Text is the Narcotics Anonymous book. If you get to a meeting, they sell them there, or if you don't have the money, they will give you one. __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. --Anonymous

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11-03-2004, 04:25 PM	#16 (permalink)
cj. Mending Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Atlantic Canada Posts: 300	(((( LOST ANGEL )))) Just to set the record straight, The Basic Text is not The Big Book. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous addresses the 12 Step program of AA. The Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous addresses the 12 Step program of NA. Both are seperate and distinct programs of recovery. cj

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