He left tonight....

[jpc2505]

He did it, he left me tonight. I went to a freinds house last night to think things over, and he told me if i went to her house he was going to leave...and he did. What is wrong with me? I called him, and begged him to come home. I pointed out that yes, I made a mistake, I should not have gone to her house..but when I mentioned the incident with the sword last week his response was he should have put it through my stomach. And I still called and begged for him to come home! What is wrong with me? I love him so much it hurts, and I just don't know where to turn. My old friends all still want to party, and I don't even want to think about doing that. I just can't picture my life without him. And this is his place, so I have to leave....I just can't even bring myself to pack anything. Why in the world do I feel this way? Am I crazy? I wish so badly I hadn't left last night, I should've just accepted things the way they were...or tried harder. What is wrong with me that I can't be alone?

[minnie]

jpc

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

The demands that this man is making are unreasonable and unhealthy. Your relationship seems to be based on destructive needs, rather than wants.

Please, and I say this with love, get out of the situation and get yourself some counselling to figure out the answers to your questions.

You can do this. We're all here to help, if you want help.

Love

Minnie
xxxx

[splendra]

(((((LISA)))))

I know the stuck feeling you are writing about. Living in your situation has made you very sick sweetie. How can we help you get safe? You need a change so bad. I wish I could come get you. You need some ((((((big hugs)))))) from people who understand where you are. If you could just call a shelter the people there know how to help you. They would help you get on your feet you would be helped to rebuild your life.

You do not need that man in your life. Come on Lisa, there are good men out there who would never put you thru this. I am sure you hurt don't believe the lie that what yuou are experiencing with this man is love because it is far from it. I want to send this message directly to your heart, you do not love this man....get this clear what you are experiencing is not love.......

love to you from another,

LISA

[51anna]

Hi Lisa,

I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now, but you must hang on and believe that things will get better for you.

This man is a sick person and is making you sick as well. This is not your fault and you are a good person who is trying to do the right thing. Is there any way you could get some counselling? It seems like that would be a good idea if you could.

You can do this and you can be on your own. I'm sure it's a terrifying thought right now, but it will work out. Just do what you need to do today and if you need to pack up and leave, then do that. Just get through this day and keep posting.

Love, Anna

[namommy]

Lisa,

I understand how you feel. I have been in abusive relationships in the past. The man I was with about a year before I got clean (I spent the last 6 months of my active addiction without a man) was very abusive. He didn't want me to go to sleep one night, he wanted me to go out and prostitute for money so he could get high. Anyway, he set the bed on fire while I was sleeping in it. It was very hard for me to leave him because like you, I thought it was love. It was just a sick dependency. I thought I needed a man to make me whole. I found out I was wrong. I came into recovery single, and I found out that I just needed a Higher Power and some self-acceptance and I became whole. Through this process I met a man who treats me like a queen. He has never laid a hand on me, has never slept with another woman while we have been together, he doesn't even call me mean things when we fight.

What I am saying is work on yourself, and you will meet someone who is right for you instead of just settling for whatever.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

love ya
Laurie

[cj.]

Many years ago, I married a man who was an addict and had violent tendencies. He was extremely jealous, controlling and mean.

Before we married, there were only hints of this, and I naively thought that I could change him and make him feel good about himself with the sheer power of my feelings of love for him. I was wrong.

The first day home from our honeymoon, he grabbed me by the throat, pinned me to the wall, and in no uncertain terms he told me that he now owned me and I had to do whatever he said without question.

I lived this way for six months until the day came when I had to flee for my life.

At that moment, all my illusions were shattered and I saw our relationship and him for what it was. It/he was sick, unhealthy and troubled beyond anything that I could change or fix. Somehow I was able to see that it would not get better, but only continue to get worse.

I got out and I hope you can do the same. No woman should have to live with the fear and anxiety that this kind of warped relationship brings.

You do have a choice. You don't have to wait for the day that you become seriously injured or, God forbid, dead. I hope and pray that you choose life.

cj

[wastedtime4me]

Morning{{{{{{{{{Lisa}}}}}}}}}}
I hope and pray we have gotten into your head more than his words have!!
I have been praying for your safety!!I know talking about taking these steps are alot easier said than done..when he isnt hitting you or threatening to.. it seems all rosey and makes you want to change your mind and stay.I really do understand.It probably is gonna be hard for you to walk out that door but you are worth it{like someone else said} anything in that house can be replaced except for one and thats,..YOU!!!!!!!!!!Please dont look back..Please leave before you no longer have a choice..I am afraid his anger is only gonna grow!!! You can post at a local library and let us know how you are..You dont have to lose touch with us!!It is free to log on at the library.They will usually let you on for 30 mins at a time..Please read these posts everyday many times over...This many women cant be wrong..right??We care about you lisa!!!Please take care of you today~~

[Paulie]

Remember what you said in your PM, you want to be happy. You have not been happy in a long long time.

Leave NOW, get to someplace safe. He is playing a game with you. He knows it is his place and he lives there, he knows it is you that has to leave.

I wish I could explain to you the feeling that I had when I finaly got the courage to leave the man I told you about. It is a feeling like no other feeling, a feeling of freedom. I would never again apologize to someone for them kicking me in the stomach, for them punching me in the arm. Why would you want to apologize to someone for them putting a sword threw a mattress you were laying on? think about it, it is wrong. That is not love, that is not a relationship.

Get to that shelter, TODAY.

[bubblze30]

Why do you have to pack? He left right why can't you just stay there? You will see in the future that everything happens for a reason and you are better off. I know it doesn't seem as if right now but it will just hang in there. If you can not afford to live there get a newspaper and find a roomate or move in with someone who needs a roomate. I am not sure of the living arrangment.

[dragonlady]

Thank GOD he's gone! Please take this oppertunity and get some help! You're better than that-you DON'T need a man!

[ButterflyChaser]

Gosh Lisa!!! You are going thru exactly what I went thru last year, if you go back to all the threads that I have started, or I can email it to you, maybe that could help you...it's titled, "it's not about Love, it's about Control!!!" go back and read that thread from me, & you'll see ......
I hope you are ok, and if anyone knows how u feel right now, it's me, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!! just feeling insecure!!!! sometimes old bad habits are hard to break! I pray for you, but remember...u do deserve much better, I know it's hard to see that right now!!!! PM me....