10/12/04 "Day Break"

[bubblze30]

Today's thought is:

Serenity

When I have recognized the things I can change and have had the courage to do my footwork, I will find serenity quietly sailing into my mind.

So often what takes the place of serenity in our minds is the constant chatter of internal conflict. We have internalized the voices of our parents and other authority figures. Each time we act or make a statement that aligns us with ourselves, we are likely to set off those voices. They tell us that we are unworthy, stupid, inadequate, ill prepared, or setting ourselves up for a fall.

I work by taking one step at a time to change the things I can. When I have made a movement in a good direction and am still besieged by inner torment, I will not interpret my discomfort to mean I have taken the wrong initiative. I will look to the next piece of footwork and take strength from my relationship to a higher power. When I have done all that I can and know it is time to turn the rest over to my higher power, I will be amazed at the silence that will settle inside me. Such peace restores me.

[bubblze30]

I was just discussing this with my womans group. How I believe my Moms and stepfathers coments about me eing stupid helped in my not finishing school. Also the words my ex told me about being to ugly no one would ever want me and to dumb. I remember telling him if I was so bad why are you with me. It resulted in a beating but so much of what we are told we eventually start to believe. I thank God everyday for the power to change and raise my daughter in a more positive atmosphere however still making mistakes from time to time very, very few now. I know over time I will get better I must for she deserves nothing but the best and so do I.

[bikewench]

The power to change...

Yeah? Well I'll be freaking happy when someone switches that over to "the power to change others... "

Hey God?? Ya wanna put a smile on my face... just for today? ;o)


Cause you know what God? I'm not getting it!

I'm just not getting it.