Need morale support... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

nyyfan · 10-12-2004, 07:28 AM

Hi,

I need some morale support. As I mentioned previously, my drinking started when I was suffering from postpartum. When I went back to work (3 days/week), I would drink on my days off. I haven't been by myself for the entire day with my 8 month old since last week - when my husband caught me. I haven't had anything to drink since Friday. I will be alone for the entire day on Thursday. I'm nervous as hell that I won't be able to control my urge. I have to though - and I want to. I see my therapist on Thurs during the afternoon so that is good. But I'm still very apprenhensive about being alone and not being able to control that urge.

Please share some words of wisdom with me.

Lara

bikewench · 10-12-2004, 07:49 AM

Lara...

There is someone tiny... and totally defenseless ...depending on you.

Your baby needs you straight.

Stay online here....
Go to a meeting...
Take your baby for a walk...
ask a friend to stay with you who knows what your trying to avoid...

Do whatever it takes....

You are in my prayers,....

Paulie · 10-12-2004, 08:18 AM

nyyfan -

Those are some great suggestions, I can only say DITTO. You can do this, just asking for help is a huge step in the right direction.

nyyfan · 10-12-2004, 10:05 AM

Wow - you made me cry! You're right - I need to do this for my daughter.

When my husband was talking about putting me in detox for a few days, I kept saying I didn't want to leave her. I have never been away from her for more than 12-14 hours. I couldn't imagine doing it for 3-5 days!

So, I'll just keep looking at her and thinking of your comments....that's enough reason.

I've been making a list in my head of the things I can do. I need to write it down to reinforce it.

I know if I can avoid walking into a store to buy something, I'll be fine home by myself. I know the minute I say it's alright to just buy something 'just in case' - I'm done. I guess I'll drive around or take a long walk if I have to just to avoid walking into that store.

jenniferaz1980 · 10-12-2004, 11:53 AM

Nyyfan -- I have to agree with the suggestions. Have you tryed any 12 step meetings? They are great help for many of us. If you get the urge calls somone. Anyone. There is also people here all day you can hop on and talk to us. You can also get a hobby. Paint Sew hell quilt if you have to. The first set is the hardest and you have done it by addmitting and askind for help.

((((HUGS))))

namommy · 10-12-2004, 02:16 PM

All of the above suggestions are great. I also want to add, PRAY.

If you don't have a higher power yet that you can call your own, you can borrow mine. He has enough love for both of us.

Hang in there, and just don't pick up, even if it is for a minute at a time.

nyyfan · 10-13-2004, 06:49 AM

Hi,

I'm going to a 12 step meeting tonight. It's 'women only' so I'm looking forward to going (wow - never thought I'd say I'm looking forward to going to an AA meeting!). I'm the type of person that once I make up my mind, I throw myself into it full force and want to know everything I can/do everything I can. So I'm going to buy the "Big Book". I asked my husband if I can pick him up from work tomorrow. That's usually my toughest time so if I know I have something to do - I won't worry about picking up.

Thanks for all your support!!
Lara

**51anna** · 10-13-2004, 07:02 AM

Hi Lara,

Looking for help is such a big step and I know you've gotten good advice. And you know you said you'd hate to leave your daughter for a few days so you've got to manage to get through Thursday without drinking. Keep yourself busy, pray and visit SR if you need to be inspired. You can do this!

Love, Anna

maslanyjean · 10-13-2004, 07:41 AM

IT WILL NOT HELP
please find a a sponser NOW!
Its life or death.
Your baby needs a sober mother.
and you are worth it!!
i used to bring my daughter to AA meetings
all the time.
if you cant get to one call a sober friend to spend the day.
with many hugs
jean

wastedtime4me · 10-13-2004, 08:45 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{nyyfan}}}}}}}}}}keeping you in my prayers !!!

Paulie · 10-13-2004, 08:56 AM

That is great Lara!!!

nyyfan · 10-13-2004, 09:14 AM

Jean,

What won't work?

Lara

nyyfan · 10-13-2004, 09:18 AM

Anna,

You are right - I need to get through tomorrow. I need to prove it to myself. I want a 29 day chip so bad. I know I can do this. I met a great woman at the Sunday meeting that will be there tonight. I hope to ask her to be my sponsor. We both have 8 month olds so I'm sure we have alot if common.

I already scoped out the meetings that are available tomorrow. One at noon and one at 6pm. If I'm obsessing at the gym, I will go to the meeting sweaty with my daughter. I don't care what I look like. I want to stay sober.
Lara

namommy · 10-13-2004, 01:55 PM

Lara,

keep up the positive attitude. If you have to, go to both meetings tomorrow. Hey, even if you don't have to, go to both meetings tomorrow.

Keeping you in my prayers.

maslanyjean · 10-13-2004, 02:20 PM

nyyfan
did i say wont work?
i reread my post it didnt say that.
sorry misunderstanding.
hugs jean

bubblze30 · 10-14-2004, 07:00 AM

nyyfan, You just hang on tight. If you want it bad enough you will do it. Think of all you will be missing if you drink. Yes you are with her but not metally, emotionally or spiritually. I lost many months with my daughte because I started using heroin after she was born so the first year and a half minus a few months was almost a blur. Either I was to messed up to care for her or sick. I wish I could change it but it's gone foreva I can never get it back. However, you can. You can have the memories, you can share your sober self with your child. Making memories you will remember forever. No one can ever take that away but yourself. Each time you want to drink think of your worst day drunk falling over nasty, icky, puky, yukky, drunk. Do you really want your beautiful daughter to see her mother like this or do you want her to look into your clear beautiful eyes with a smile that will last her a lifetime. She needs you and wants you to be sober. Look at her she loves you and needs you please do this for her if you can't do it for yourself. Have you talked to a dr. about medications yet. There may be something out there that can change your life and you will only need it temporarily. As for taking the time in detox. I would give five days away from my daughter to give her a lifetime of sobriety over staying out of detox and drinking. So if you can't do it alone remember it's five days verses a lifetime of sobriety. You and your daughter a worth it!!!!

Make a plan. Like a schedule of different things you can do also I would have some phone numbers available if the urge gets to strong. Does your family know(mother?Father?)if so have there numbers handy or sisters brothers friends the more support the better. There is so much support out there. Programs and groups and meetings your are not alone and maybe meeting other moms who are going through it or went through it may help you a greaat deal. Have you looked in or around your area for support groups. These may save your life. Hope it went great.

10-12-2004, 07:28 AM	#1 (permalink)
nyyfan Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: boston, ma Posts: 18	Need morale support... Hi, I need some morale support. As I mentioned previously, my drinking started when I was suffering from postpartum. When I went back to work (3 days/week), I would drink on my days off. I haven't been by myself for the entire day with my 8 month old since last week - when my husband caught me. I haven't had anything to drink since Friday. I will be alone for the entire day on Thursday. I'm nervous as hell that I won't be able to control my urge. I have to though - and I want to. I see my therapist on Thurs during the afternoon so that is good. But I'm still very apprenhensive about being alone and not being able to control that urge. Please share some words of wisdom with me. Lara

10-12-2004, 08:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	nyyfan - Those are some great suggestions, I can only say DITTO. You can do this, just asking for help is a huge step in the right direction. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

10-12-2004, 02:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,711	All of the above suggestions are great. I also want to add, PRAY. If you don't have a higher power yet that you can call your own, you can borrow mine. He has enough love for both of us. Hang in there, and just don't pick up, even if it is for a minute at a time. __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. --Anonymous

10-13-2004, 06:49 AM	#7 (permalink)
nyyfan Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: boston, ma Posts: 18	12 step meetings Hi, I'm going to a 12 step meeting tonight. It's 'women only' so I'm looking forward to going (wow - never thought I'd say I'm looking forward to going to an AA meeting!). I'm the type of person that once I make up my mind, I throw myself into it full force and want to know everything I can/do everything I can. So I'm going to buy the "Big Book". I asked my husband if I can pick him up from work tomorrow. That's usually my toughest time so if I know I have something to do - I won't worry about picking up. Thanks for all your support!! Lara

10-13-2004, 07:02 AM	#8 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,030	Hi Lara, Looking for help is such a big step and I know you've gotten good advice. And you know you said you'd hate to leave your daughter for a few days so you've got to manage to get through Thursday without drinking. Keep yourself busy, pray and visit SR if you need to be inspired. You can do this! Love, Anna __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

10-12-2004, 07:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
bikewench Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada Posts: 1,440	Lara... There is someone tiny... and totally defenseless ...depending on you. Your baby needs you straight. Stay online here.... Go to a meeting... Take your baby for a walk... ask a friend to stay with you who knows what your trying to avoid... Do whatever it takes.... You are in my prayers,....

10-12-2004, 10:05 AM	#4 (permalink)
nyyfan Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: boston, ma Posts: 18	Wow - you made me cry! You're right - I need to do this for my daughter. When my husband was talking about putting me in detox for a few days, I kept saying I didn't want to leave her. I have never been away from her for more than 12-14 hours. I couldn't imagine doing it for 3-5 days! So, I'll just keep looking at her and thinking of your comments....that's enough reason. I've been making a list in my head of the things I can do. I need to write it down to reinforce it. I know if I can avoid walking into a store to buy something, I'll be fine home by myself. I know the minute I say it's alright to just buy something 'just in case' - I'm done. I guess I'll drive around or take a long walk if I have to just to avoid walking into that store.

10-12-2004, 11:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
jenniferaz1980 New and Unsure Join Date: May 2004 Location: phoenix az Posts: 191	Nyyfan -- I have to agree with the suggestions. Have you tryed any 12 step meetings? They are great help for many of us. If you get the urge calls somone. Anyone. There is also people here all day you can hop on and talk to us. You can also get a hobby. Paint Sew hell quilt if you have to. The first set is the hardest and you have done it by addmitting and askind for help. ((((HUGS))))

10-13-2004, 07:41 AM	#9 (permalink)
maslanyjean Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: CATASAUQUA PA Posts: 8	Please DONT DRINK!!! IT WILL NOT HELP please find a a sponser NOW! Its life or death. Your baby needs a sober mother. and you are worth it!! i used to bring my daughter to AA meetings all the time. if you cant get to one call a sober friend to spend the day. with many hugs jean

10-13-2004, 08:45 AM	#10 (permalink)
wastedtime4me ~FEELS SO ALIVE~ Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: In A sTaTe Of HaPPiNeSS Posts: 643	{{{{{{{{{{{nyyfan}}}}}}}}}}keeping you in my prayers !!! __________________ ~WaStEdTiMe4Me~

10-13-2004, 08:56 AM	#11 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	That is great Lara!!! __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

10-13-2004, 09:14 AM	#12 (permalink)
nyyfan Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: boston, ma Posts: 18	Huh? Jean, What won't work? Lara

10-13-2004, 09:18 AM	#13 (permalink)
nyyfan Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: boston, ma Posts: 18	Anna Anna, You are right - I need to get through tomorrow. I need to prove it to myself. I want a 29 day chip so bad. I know I can do this. I met a great woman at the Sunday meeting that will be there tonight. I hope to ask her to be my sponsor. We both have 8 month olds so I'm sure we have alot if common. I already scoped out the meetings that are available tomorrow. One at noon and one at 6pm. If I'm obsessing at the gym, I will go to the meeting sweaty with my daughter. I don't care what I look like. I want to stay sober. Lara

10-13-2004, 01:55 PM	#14 (permalink)
namommy Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Never, Never land Posts: 2,711	Lara, keep up the positive attitude. If you have to, go to both meetings tomorrow. Hey, even if you don't have to, go to both meetings tomorrow. Keeping you in my prayers. __________________ I came into this program to save my a** and found out it was attached to my soul. --Anonymous

10-13-2004, 02:20 PM	#15 (permalink)
maslanyjean Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: CATASAUQUA PA Posts: 8	nyyfan did i say wont work? i reread my post it didnt say that. sorry misunderstanding. hugs jean

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10-14-2004, 07:00 AM	#16 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	nyyfan, You just hang on tight. If you want it bad enough you will do it. Think of all you will be missing if you drink. Yes you are with her but not metally, emotionally or spiritually. I lost many months with my daughte because I started using heroin after she was born so the first year and a half minus a few months was almost a blur. Either I was to messed up to care for her or sick. I wish I could change it but it's gone foreva I can never get it back. However, you can. You can have the memories, you can share your sober self with your child. Making memories you will remember forever. No one can ever take that away but yourself. Each time you want to drink think of your worst day drunk falling over nasty, icky, puky, yukky, drunk. Do you really want your beautiful daughter to see her mother like this or do you want her to look into your clear beautiful eyes with a smile that will last her a lifetime. She needs you and wants you to be sober. Look at her she loves you and needs you please do this for her if you can't do it for yourself. Have you talked to a dr. about medications yet. There may be something out there that can change your life and you will only need it temporarily. As for taking the time in detox. I would give five days away from my daughter to give her a lifetime of sobriety over staying out of detox and drinking. So if you can't do it alone remember it's five days verses a lifetime of sobriety. You and your daughter a worth it!!!! Make a plan. Like a schedule of different things you can do also I would have some phone numbers available if the urge gets to strong. Does your family know(mother?Father?)if so have there numbers handy or sisters brothers friends the more support the better. There is so much support out there. Programs and groups and meetings your are not alone and maybe meeting other moms who are going through it or went through it may help you a greaat deal. Have you looked in or around your area for support groups. These may save your life. Hope it went great. __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

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