crossroads.

[namommy]

Hello everyone, I have missed you all.

I have so much going on in my life right now that I barely have time to crap. I have been dealing with some new experiences and facing some crossroads in my life that are a little difficult.

First, I just wanted to let you all know that a good event happened in my life this weekend. I have been clean for 8 years, and on Sunday it was the first time since I have been clean that my family came to MY house. I have a good relationship with my entire family (very large) and I have been to their homes, but this is the first time they have ever been to mine. We had a great time.

Crossroads.
I am at a point where some major decisions need to be made, and action needs to be put to those decisions. I have been on disability for 3 years, and over the past 10 months have been working on going back to work. Well, this is my last month getting a disability check, and I lose my health insurance. This is not good, since I am right now only working part time and have no benefits. I asked my employer if I could go full time, but didn't recieve an answer and it doesn't look very promising. I realize that I need to start looking for a full time job somewhere before the end of the month.

I'm scared. I like the place I work now and would love to go full time there, but as I said, it doesn't look good. I am afraid of starting over in a new place, since I have had some bad experiences in the past at different offices. But, my higher power knows how I am with getting things like this started and has already placed some financial motivation in my path. We got hit with a few unexpected medical bills this month for my husband (we pay cash for him) and we are now broke. We had to borrow some money just to help pay the rent. Rent and bills are paid, but we have $0.00 in the bank. I know that I need to work full time in order for us to get by at this point. I also need to look for a job with benefits. I am very scared of this process.

Thank you for being there to listen to me.

[51anna]

Hi Namommy,

Well, I am glad that you had a good time with your family visiting your house. These kind of things mean so much more to me now than they ever did before.

You're right - needing money is a great motivator to make a change. I resist changing too and usually need some kind of motivation to push me to make a move. Changing jobs is always tough and stressful. Since you like your present situation so much, have you expressed to your boss that you love your job and need full-time work or will have to leave? If nothing comes of that then I guess you have to look around. Have faith that you will find the job that is right for now.

Love, Anna

[bubblze30]

Yes change is so scary for us. We get so comfortable with where we are and with what seems to be working that thinking of change sacares us. I try to believe when one door closes another opens. I am on didability myself. However before being accepted I had to try a sit down job because working at seven dunkin donuts at the same time was not possible anymore. I was so scared but once I got hired at toyota finacial things did fall into place. However it wasn't long before I found I could not do a sit sown job without pain. I feel your fears Namommy but I think once you get your feet wet(you have a great personality)you will be just fine. It's the initial step that's the scary part. You have already shared it now say a prayer and give it up to your higher power and believe that you will be ok. The more we believe we can make it the sooner we realize we will be ok. Prayers coming your way. Keep your head up and keep moving forward never give up and you shall never fail....

[Alice Wonder]

namommy money concerns are just downright stressful! i am glad you had a good time with your family though. i have you in my thoughts- something will give somewhere it always does....until then here is a hug! love-alice

[jenniferaz1980]

Honey this is normal and it is part of learning to live life on lifes terms. Keep the faith and rember you HP will never give you more than you can handle! (((((HUGS)))))

[namommy]

Thank you everyone.

Well, today I have to take a big step. I have asked my employer if I could go full time, but did not get an answer. I have to go in there today and tell them I need to know. I will just take it from there. We did manage to come up with a few extra bucks to get by with for the next 2 weeks. We also talked about the child support I get from my Ex. We never went to court, we just agreed on a minimal amount years ago when he was working for minimum wage, but now he is a union baker and makes good money and has great benefits and I think it is time for him to step up to the plate. I left him a message, but he still has not returned my call. I am sure that return phone call will turn into a good fight. It's not really him, he usually works well with me, but God forbid his wife not be able to drop everything at a moments notice and fly out to california for a week or 2. (I'm just a little resentful).

Well, I hope you are all doing well and thanks for letting me share my woes.

PS. I also forgot to mention that I am also afraid I will have EVEN LESS time to come onto SR than I have now.

[Becky B]

Yes, change is SCARY! the unknown is too, and I guess that's more what I dealing with. you're doing great. Something will workout for you. Keep your faith.
hugs, Becky

[namommy]

Well, I talked to my employer tonight. I let them know that I need to work full time, and I would really like it to be there. I explained my situation them. I still don't have an answer. The office managers have to talk to the doctors about it. However, shortly after talking to them, they gave me a list of benefit options and the cost for me to take into consideration. I am hoping that is a good sign. Even with that, I asked them what it means and they said they don't know. My husband and I sat down tonite and went over the benfits packages, our finances, and other options. That's about all we can do right now, and pray for the best. I'll keep you updated.

[wastedtime4me]

I hope it all works out for you {{{{{{namommy}}}}}}}}

[bliss]

Thanks for sharing. As much as I am afraid of things at times whenever I face them head on I am always pleasantly surprised since the fear goes away. Everytime I avoived it I felt a whole lot worse. You can do it. Conquer your fears.

[ButterflyChaser]

Namommy....

[namommy]

Just wanted to stop in to say "God works"

I talked to my ex-husband today about child support. I thought is was going to be a huge battle. He was very agreeable. He is actually going to double my child support payments. That is a good start.

Then my current husband called from work, he is in construction, and he finished a kitchen job today. The home owner called him aside and gave him a HUGE cash tip. He said to my H "Here, you did a great job, take your wife out to dinner tonite" Dinner? I don't think so. I need to keep my nails nice for the kind of work I do, I am going to the nail salon tomorrow. (my husband agrees).

Things are falling into place.

[ButterflyChaser]

That's awesome Namommy! wooooohoooo:

[namommy]

Well, today the office manager talked to the doctors. They asked me if I could give them 2 weeks to give me a definite answer, but they need to work out the logistics of it. The office manager told me that she feels pretty good that they are going to take me full time. They are talking about adding another schedule of patients for testing, and that I would be scheduled to do that on those days. Or, possibly contact lens patients. Any way it works out, is fine by me.