What is so great about not having another drink?

[jenjram]

I am about to admit myself to a residential treatment center, but I feel like my life won't be any fun anymore without drinking. What is so great about life if we can't drink? I can't remember a positive memory in my past that didn't have alcohol involved..you have to admit, it is pretty fun. I haven't hit "bottom" exactly, but I am concerned about my drinking everyday. I just am afraid I won't want to give it up completely. That means no date nights without drinking, no vacation with drinking, no Christmas parties without drinking...etc...

How will I cope? How do YOU cope? Can life actually be fun and silly and flirtatious without a drink?

Thanks for your input!

[splendra]

Jenjram-

I like not having a hang over everyday and being fully in the here and now with a clear head and eyes. I don't hurt in the mornings and I feel like each day is an adventure. Drunks are boring and the only thing they have to look forward to is another drink and a hangover.

I like the fact that my kid knows that I am fully there for him. He has friends who's parents drink and take drugs and he sees how unhappy that makes them and he is very glad he doesn't have to live that in his life....

By the way I was a real drunk for 11 years a real party animal!!! I have been sober for 19 years and I am very very glad!!!

[twoboys]

Hi jenjram - I'm twoboys (mom of two of those little things that make alot of noise and come with a no-refunds policy) and probably the LAST person to be answering your question, because I'm right on that edge, myself. I've tried to be sober since July 5, when I first came here, but have relapsed about ten times since then.

But this is how I'm trying to look at it: Life is as it should be without a drink; going through life with a drink inhibits my ability to be the best, richest (in the important sense of the word, and I have been known to drop about $50/week on wine) and most fulfilled person I can be. I'm not the mother I want to be when I'm drunk; I'm not the wife I want to be; I'm not the friend I want to be when I'm drinking or hungover. One ironic upside to drinking this summer in particular was that whenever I have had to change plans with a friend (couldn't get up in time, forgot, etc.) I never made up an excuse. I said, I'm sorry, I'm just too hungover to go on that hike; I'm just too drunk this afternoon to go out tonight. Things like that. I'm not trying to hide my drinking from my friends. Does it sound off-the-wall to be proud I'm saying I have a drinking problem? I hope not, since I want to be as matter-of-fact with my friends and family about my struggle with drinking as I am with my allergies to flowers and dust. Because the bigger protective circle I have around me, the softer my landing will be.

But I digress. Your question is a legitimate one. I would answer it this way: It felt GREAT to wake up this morning without a hangover. It felt wonderful to be able to work around the yard. I loved walking to the library with my boys. I even enjoyed SpongeBob SquarePants (and believe me, I detest that guy!) because it made my little one laugh. And that's just today.

I wouldn't trade a day like today for a date night in a hot dress with the most expensive champagne in the house; not if it means embarrassing my husband with my drinking, blacking out (did you have fun if you can't remember the fun you had?) and feeling like #### tomorrow.

You can't find that on any wine list.

Good luck with your search. I hope you find your answers. And I hope I find mine, too.

[KelKel]

Hi Jenjram...
My drinking progressed to such an insane place that for me the benefit
of NOT drinking literally means I get to live instead of die.

[WeDoRecover]

Being clean and sober to me is about freedom. I'm not a slave to anything anymore. I have choices.

You might think your drinking isn't that bad yet but I promise you, stay out there for awhile, keep drinking, and see what happens. I'd put money on the fact that things won't get better. If they do, come get one of us and we'll drink with you.

[lulu70]

Hello Jen--What is so great about not having another drink? For me, what is so great is that I no longer feel like the world is against me and that I can't have fun without drinking. Also, for me, it would be another drink, and another, and another, and another, until I either passed out, threw up, wrecked my car, or worse.

you have to admit, it is pretty fun.

For me, it WAS fun.... a long time ago. It has not been fun for quite sometime. Once I take that first drink, I cannot control my actions or my life. I chose to no longer live that way.

Can life actually be fun and silly and flirtatious without a drink?

Since I have quit drinking, I have had more REAL fun than I ever had drunk. I have laughed like a kid until my stomach and head hurt. I have made REAL friends. Can it be fun and silly and flirtatious for you? That depends on your attitude. If you truly believe you cannot have fun without drinking, that is how it will be. If you believe your life will be better and more fullfilling without alcohol, life WILL be better and more fullfilling.

Good luck to you--

[bubblze30]

First I think you are looking to far into the future. Take it a day at a time. Sounds to me you are not ready yet. Sometimes it takes something awful to happen for us to realize its no good. See I started with alcohol and graduated to many other kinds of drugs. However, I remember getting drunk and ending up in mens beds I didn't even know, or blacking out and not knowing how I got from one place to another in my car waking up to go look for blood on the grill just in case I hit something or someone. Alcohol started a downward spiral for me very young. Yes it was fun in the begining the hanging out, the friends, the feeling but it did not last very long. It slowly took over. If you really think you have no problem (which I doubt from your words) then by all means continue to drink but I can not be sure about your future. Give the program a chance and see how it goes. I can in some sense understand because I was where you are today(in the thinking) I thought I could drink but I always got into trouble, Then when I started using drugs I thought I could drink without using drugs that didn't work. So thats was it for me I was an alcoholic and a drug addict who could not control my drinking or my use at all. Good luck with you and I hope you are one of the few that can control it because I am not one of them.

This post got me to thinking in another sense You said in your post you will not have any fun without alcohol. Does this not strike you as odd. Do you really think there is nothing fun in life without alcohol. Thats like a big sign saying life without alcohol is no fun. Sounds like something an alcoholic would say. oh thats right I am an alcoholic and I have said this also. Welcome to the crowd.

[Paulie]

One simple question...if it is so much fun, why are you concerned? why are you going to treatment?

[madmag]

Hi Jen,
For me, my life is pretty boring. But thats ok compared to what it was. Now, its calm and serene. Before, I was either drunk or worried about what I did when I was drunk..or too hungover to get out of bed. I always thought I was the life of the party, but being clean for 19 months and talking honestly with my friends, I have learned that I was not the life of the party. People were not laughing with me, they were laughing at me. And I always required a "baby sitter" so going out with me, was no fun for them.

Now I feel so much better. I guess the fun times really weren't so fun.

Good luck and God Bless.