gggrrrrr.... just need to vent!!!!!!!

[wastedtime4me]

morning girls
I had a bad start to my day..so i am puttin it down here and letting it go!!!
i have beemn reading codependant no more..well i just finished it last week..
so i have been totally practicing what i learned..i tend to obsess over alot of things and make myself crazy...I have been tellin myself ALOT lately...its not my puzzle to solve..i have done my best ..now let go and such!!!
i have come to realize that i feel responable for everyones feelings around here...it has felt so good lately to release those thoughts and not carry the world around on my shoulders..
i have been teaching my son to drive//he has been doing real good...well he tends to think he knows everything and i know nothing!!! a trait he inherited from his dad...i thought we would have problems with me tryin to teach him something but all was going well.till lately he has started givin me lip on a few things i tell him while drivin,,,to the point i told him get a new instructor then...his dad wont even take him out!!!! so he knows if i stop he wont be driving!!!!!!!!! this morning he backs out and our driveway is kinds narrow ...he runs over the step..instead of pulling up and trying again..i see him just about to hit the house...i say stop pull up and try again...not yelling or anything..i say dont turn the wheel this time..real hatefull he says...i didnt...gggrrrrr...i dont like to send the kids to school in a bad mood..so i get a grip...and say ok dont worry about .tire isnt flat..try it again...then he makes it past the step all the way at the end of the drive...i say stop the way your going ..your gonna hit another car...we live on a main street have to back out into turn lane then wait then go..he flew off the handle at me like i did something wrong..so i tell him put it in park if you dont want to listen to me.and ill drive..welll that ticked him off to the high heavens...i drove them to school..daughter gets out with an attitude....we arent even late...but she has been doin this lately over alot of stuff...then i let him out and he says love you alomst like a grumble...ggrrrrr/ it usually eats me up all day when they go to school in a funky mood .i worry about them not bein in the right mindset to learn..and take all the blame even though..rationally i know i have done my best!!!i dont have anyone to talk to so i came here to lay this down and walk away from it...i did nothing wrong and im not gonna let it ruin my whole day!!!!! i dont like giving lectures before school.etc..i wouldnt want to be sent off for the day like that..so thats what i do...now afterschool thats a different story :argue: ...i am gonna tell him..this is it!!!!!!! you dont want to listen to me on how to drive MY car...then wait another year and get your license the best way you can...on YOUR OWN!!!!! i did my best this morning..i didnt lose my kool...if they both have a bad day..thats their chose...im not responsible for everyones feelings!!!!!!!!! i am choosing to not have a bad day!!! im not gonna let anything or anyone push me over the edge and make me use today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok i feel better just being able to type this out...have a greatfull day!!!!!

[CarrieSueBee]

Hey Wasted...I think you did nothing wrong! And hey, if he said "I love you" that is more than you can ask from a lot of teens. They feel it, they just don't know how to express it very well!
All you can do as a mom is try to teach them when to stop, put the car in drive, pull forward and try backing out again! You did that. If you live on a busy street, then he needs to know that. You ahve better judgment right now from your YEARS of driving experience. He has things to learn still. Don't let it bother you if he gets moody learing these lesons/ Oh, and one other idea, maybe if you back the care into the driveway...then a new learner can have an easier time pulling out forward..into the busy traffic. Maybe that is a place to start, until he gets good at backing out of long driveways.
I'd be concerned about your daughter....she is out of sorts...and you don't know why? I'd explore that. I'm NOT saying anything is your fault, but more like....see what is going on in her life. What kind of pressures is she dealing with? School, boys, drugs, drink....Hmmm.... same pressures we all had at that age. Perhaps she needs a mother's advice. Just a thought.

[bubblze30]

Sounds to me you are picking up some really great tools in recovery. You are doing a great job with you children and your recovery so pat yourself on the back and let this go and move on with your day knowing you did all the best you can in all situations. I hope your day gets better. Talking to him later instead of fighting with him when it was happening is the best thing you can do because you both have time to let out your frustrations and coming into a new converation with a clearer mind. I truely think you are doing an excellent job myself. Hey one question though where did you get that aviator it kinda looks just like you?

[wastedtime4me]

{{{{{{{{carriesue}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{bubblze}}}}}}}}}}}
i can always come here and gain what strength i need to get through the day!! thanks for the good ideas..i .have a hard time backin that car up myself right now..i still have the cast on from surgery..i will have hubby turn it around tonite though...i figured if i made him back out ..he would get used to it..maybe not such a good idea afterall..gonna end up with the side of my house bashed in..lol..your very perseptive carrie..she is going through a rough spot..i know it isnt drugs/alcohol though..she is just fed up with everyone not gettin along around here...her dad and brother are quite a bit alike and her and i are alike..so she gets fed up..we dont yell at each other all the time or have big fights ..just an imbalace you can feel when you walk in this house with us!!! we have gone to counseling...things are better than it used to be ,i guess but its still not right and it really upsets her...i will talk with her this evning,,,unless she forgot about it already..she is 13..lol some times i worry then see her and she is over it!!!thank you for your encouragement girls...i really need to hear that today...it takes alot for me to hold my tongue and speak when i have calmed down...i used to just fly off the handle...still do at times but i dont want tio be that kind of person,so i work very hard on that...
bubblze..go to recovery follies on here..you will see."make your own avatar"then just follow the link...its alot of fun and pretty easy...my daughter and mom says this looks like me too..lol..well i have to get going to my appts..bubblze i will answer your email when i get back...take care and have a great day...so far other than physical pain...i am having a good one...not giving myself any other option!!!!

[namommy]

Remember, They are TEENagers. It is normal for them to be moody. They have so much going on inside them right now, they don't know which end is up. Remember how it felt? Hormones raging everywhere, not sure if you are a kid or grown up. I let mine have their moods, as long as they don't get disrespectful. Especially the girls.My son is just starting, he's not too bad YET.

Just remeber, not only did you do NOTHING wrong, but they are going nuts on hormones, and as teens they tend to think they know everything. It's their job to drive us crazy. :

[ButterflyChaser]

((((((((((((((((((((wt4u)))))))))))))))))0 You are in my thoughts & prayers!!!
Tell me one thing?....Is that book really good? Is it worth reading? Hope all is well!

[wastedtime4me]

thanks{{{{{{{{{{namommy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{butterfly}}}}}}}}}}}}}
your absolutely right namommy...i just tend to want to control everything and its been alot of hard work on my part to remind myself...everyone isnt gonna act the way i want them to...i had a talk with him last night and told him if he doesnt like the instructor then hand over his temps and try again in one year when he is 18...he didnt want to drive this morning..im gonna pick them up after school and have him drive then..i spoke my peace its over...i just know how he can be and this learning how to drive thing is not gonna make me all stressed out...my daughter was fine by evening...yes bf that book is worth the read!!! i learned alot from it..i saw myself on many pages in there...lol..the key is to incorporate the things you learn into your everyday life..i want to change so i am willing to do the work...i got it at the library though..couldnt afford to buy all those books i have read...lol.

[bubblze30]

Sounds like you are having a bit of a better day.

[wastedtime4me]

i certainly did have a much better day...i even took a nap...i havent been goin to bed early enough ..then getting up early was kickin my butt..now i hope i dont stay up late tonite...lol

[Sandy Marie]

{{{{hugs To You Wasted}}}}

[namommy]

WT4M,

My oldest daughter will be 20 next month, about a year ago, she started to turn human again. So hold on to the hope that they do come back to us.

[wastedtime4me]

thank you for posting that..i tell myself he will come around when he is a lil older..sometimes i wonder ...lol