This morning, I seen someone I used to know, me!

[Becky B]

Good morning ladies, and thank you all for your continuing help and support in recovery. I hope I can help someone out there too. I just wanted to say somethings that I've realized since being sober.

This morning, I seen someone I used to know. She was me in the mirrow. It was just a glimpse of her, but she was still there. I thought I'd lost her forever. I even wanted to kill her sometimes, but she's there. She's me and I love her. "Be true to thy own self".

I don't know if this makes sence to anyone out there, but it does to me. I wanted to die, but now I want to live. I want to be that person I use to know. I know I will always be an alcoholic and that's ok, but I don't have to drink anymore.
hugs, Becky B
went to 4th AA meeting today. Felt good!

[FMario]

Hi Becky.
I hope that you can conquer the alcoholism. I have just registered on this site today, and I have been sober for about 12 hours now. Do you have any suggestions on how to get through this without going to a meeting? I am in the public eye and can't risk my occupation. I am in desperate need of help. How good do you feel after stopping the drinking? I know that I feel horrible every morning after, and yet still keep on doing it, thinking "a couple of drinks won't hurt". Those couple of drinks turn into 20. My health is slowly deteriorating as a result of alcohol and I want to cut it off RIGHT NOW! Any tips??? secret9secret9@hotmail.com
Thanks,

[Becky B]

Hi, glad you reached out to us. I live in a small town outside a major city. And, my husband is a doctor in this small town. I was reluctant to go to AA too. I tried everything, but couldn't make it work. I am in the public eye too, but AA is what it is.
Alcoholics Ananymous. Look at the Anonymous...you know the meaning of that word. We keep who we are and our meetings to ourselves. Reach out! Take the first step, find out where and when the meetings are. Call the help line. Do a search on the net. There is someone waiting to help you. No one has to know. We're all here for the same reason. We come from all walks of life. please reach out.
hugs, Becky B

[namommy]

Becky,

Reading your post this morning made me smile. That is so cool. I can remember the first time I looked in the mirror, and wasn't afraid of what was looking back. The first time I saw me. That is such an incredible feeling. Keep up the good work, and keep going to meetings.

Love ya

Laurie

[CarrieSueBee]

Horray for Becky!! It is so nice to uncover the "true me" isn't it? I felt like an archeologist...slowly uncovering the real me. I DO know what you are saying.
Bless you and your 4th meeting today! I'm 43 days sober and am so thankful for AA! It really keeps me plugged in to sober energy and it really puts things in perspective for me.
Congratulations on catching a glimpse of the REAL you...she is there...keep seeking her!

[Paulie]

FMario -

Welcome to SR. You can stop, and asking for help is not a crime. You would be surprised how many people in the public eye are in a program. Annonymous, yep that is the key word. I have used a 12 step program to get/stay sober so far to, but I know there are other ways, not just my way. Just try to get through today, one hour at a time, don't put extra pressure on yourself by saying you will never drink again. I learned along time ago to never say never. I have seen people say never over the years Ihave been sober and they have died. I stay sober just one day at a time and that is what I suggest to others.

Stick around here and get to know people there is a great deal of friendship and support here.

becky - What you said brought tears to my eyes. I remember my first xmas sober, I got a pass from the rehab I was in to go home. I was sitting in my moms kitchen (I had no home of my own) laughing about something with her and my aunt came down the hall crying she hugged me and said something like "it is so good to hear you laugh". I had not laughed, really laughed so for long. It was at that moment that I started to feel like 'me'again. So I understand exactly what you are saying.

Keep taking it slow, one day at a time and things will be okay.

[51anna]

Becky,

Keep looking for yourself, everywhere you go and everything you do, keep searching and you'll find the real you. It's a long journey, but one that's full of wonder.

Love, Anna

[boop64132]

Congrats Becky!
Yes it is nice looking in the mirror and like what you see.
And its even nicer knowing who is truly looking back at you.

[ButterflyChaser]

(((((((((((((((((((((becky))))))))))))))))))))

[bubblze30]

It makes alot of sence to me. For a long time I couldn't even find myself in the mirror. I looked and looked even early in recovery. It took along time to see me again. Matter a fact its been over the last year and a half that I see me and like no love me. I may be fat but I love me I don't care about the weight because I see a healthy loving caring and honest person who is trying to be the best mom and friend she can be. I take care of myself and goto dr.s instead of blowing them off. I see a theropist and I am at the happiest point in my life. This is a great post thank you very much for helping me remember finding myself.

[wastedtime4me]

becky how are you doin???
i can relate to this post as well..i am still working on getting to know the real me though...