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08-14-2004, 03:51 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 2
| Hanging on w/ all my might
I'm new here but not new to recovery. I've been battling addictions since I was 13 and I'm 35. I never had consequences, or at least ones that were so big like the ones I have now. My kids were taken in April and I had 3 months then relapsed. I know why I did. Exactly why. It involves a poor relationship with my mother, no money, and a man. I am feeling very discontent, very ashamed, very afraid and living in pure fear. The good thing is that I got a job and start monday. I'll be working from home doing sales. That is really the only positive I see at that scares me. I have no money, my bills are all late, even rent, and I tested dirty so now my reunification is delayed. I got a new sponsor and will work with her to get my :shakin in line. I have always participated on mommy support boards but I'm thinking that I need to be here. Meetings are great but I need more sometimes and need more women friends. Anyways, I'm Christine and looking forward to meeting some women. |
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08-14-2004, 05:02 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass
Posts: 1,355
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Welome to the womens board. You will find alot of great women with similar situations. For me I am thirty one. I lost my daughteer when she was fifteen months old. I finally got cleaned up and got her back a week after her fourth b-day and still have her by the grace of god. I also started using alcohol at thirteen and progressed to even more dagerous drugs heroin at twenty one or two. I am here to let you know that no matter how bad it has gotten it is possible to get clean and stay clean. I was no angel I could have gotten my daughter back sooner but cocaine and heroin were more important to me. I sold my body my posessions and desgraced my family and friends. I am back in my families life, but talk only once a month. I was so bad I had to leave the city I was in. I visit but not often. I know I can never move back. Sorry I am babbling I just want you to understand its possible to over come the strings of addiction. It is possible and with this site you will find some honest and sencere women. For me I needed inpatient then a half way house and onto a three quarter house. I had a slip since I got her back but got right back on track and now have three + yrs. Its been a bumpy road and alot of ups and downs. I have very little but my bills are paid and my daughter is fed and clothed. I just these past few yrs learned how to pay bills. Always depended on a man to do it. I am a single mom now and making it on my own and I am happier then my best day using. Hope to see ya in here more. You can be an asset to many others trying to get and stay clean. Including myself. You are not alone..
__________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger" |
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08-14-2004, 05:27 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Administrator  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 22,845
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Hi Christine, I'm glad you found SR. It's a really good place to find support and understanding. I'm Anna, an alcoholic. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. Boy, do I know all about living life in fear. When I look back at my life, almost all my decisions, big and small, were based on fear. I've been working hard to change that since the beginning of this year and it sure isn't easy! It's scary sometimes to be out in the light! Good luck with your new job. Just keep moving ahead and you'll be fine. Hang around and get to know us. Love, Anna
__________________  And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver |
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08-14-2004, 09:51 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| kimmer  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: california
Posts: 42
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welcome christine, youve got two posotives, the job and coming here. (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))), with hard work (youve done it before) it will all work out. may god bless you and hold you
__________________ Kimmer |
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08-14-2004, 10:04 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: May 2004 Location: toronto, ontario, canada
Posts: 224
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Keep moving forward and work hard with your sponsor. Remember to take it one day at a time and all will work out. No matter what don't drink. Do what ever it takes. You can do it with the help of your support group and this board. My prayers are with you
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08-16-2004, 12:04 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Meow!  Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Posts: 1,020
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:35: Hello Christine & welcome to the BEST place you could ever go on the web!! hehe (((((((((((((((((((((christine)))))))))))))))))))) )<----giving you big hugs! :spectacle
__________________ "If a Child feels Safe, Wanted & Loved, You are a Successful Parent!"  ~~"A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers!!~~  |
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08-16-2004, 09:13 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Headed in the right direction.  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 257
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Hi Christine! I'm Carrie, I'm an alcoholic. There really is hope for you...for us all! Keep working with your sponser! I'm glad you have a job and that today was your first day. I keep thinking the first day is usually sort of tough, because, well, all the learning starts there...but hey...somebody's got to be making the money and it might as well be you, right? :-) Anyway, as you can see from the previous posts there is a lot of support here! A lot of us have done things that aren't so good for our kids. But as for me, I took action, made some tough choices and stuck to this plan. I gave in to it totally, comitted totally. That is the only way I could make it work. And believe me, I needed it to work!!
__________________ Each day of your life, as soon as you open your eyes in the morning, you can square away for a happy and successful day. ~ George Matthew Adams |
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