Is this a good idea?????? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ButterflyChaser · 08-12-2004, 12:10 PM

Tell me..............I really REALLY need to get to meetings & I never will go cuz i always have my daughter. I know I can take her w/me and all, but

I really dont' want her to know, ya know? (me the typical dope head, trying to hide again!lol) Imagine that! lol A counseler once told em that reguardless, I may think that my daughter doesn't know what's gone on in my past, but "she knows" whether I know it or not! Is that true?
I need anyone's oppinions Please!!! Do you think it's a good idea to take her with me or no??

**Rowan** · 08-12-2004, 12:33 PM

How old is your daughter? My girls are 11 and 8, and I've been taking them regularly with me for 3 years now. I don't have a sitter, and don't want to use one to tell the truth (too much money). I bring books, sometimes colouring stuff, and sometimes a walkman to listen to during the meeting. They have gotten to know many of my friends and are welcomed warmly by the fellowship. I'm not saying my girls are THRILLED to attend meetings, but they do understand that I need to go, and they are pretty accepting overall. In the beginning I used to worry about what they may overhear at meetings that was inappropriate (btw I only take them to open meetings)
but I figured that it would be a lot worse if I was still drinking and had some questionable characters hanging around my home. When I attend meetings, they see me laughing and having fun with recovery, and that feels damn good.

KelKel · 08-12-2004, 12:38 PM

(((BF)))
Your recovery is A1.
Take your daughter....Rowan's plan of action is great.
In the end your daughter will respect you for addressing
your problems head-on...
I definately believe our kids are more intuitive than we realize.

JennieB · 08-12-2004, 01:28 PM

I agree with all the above as well. Bring them but bring something to occupy them with. some meetings actually have babysitters!
I too think they know what is going on.

bubblze30 · 08-13-2004, 11:35 AM

I think you should sit down and talk to your daughter first. Don't get into detain but tell her you did some stuff you are not proud of and you don't do it anymore but these places help you not to. Explain to her that they help and since she is always with you would she be ok with going with you. Have her bring a book to read or a walkman. In the begining I used to let my daughter color. Now she doesn't like when we go and I don't bring her often but she knows they keep me doing the right thing. Sharing your past experiences may help her learn how bad they are and you can tell her she don't have to experience them you can tell her all she needs to know about them...

ButterflyChaser · 08-14-2004, 11:29 AM

awwww. thanks you guys, you all made me have a tear in my eye, a tear of joy! made me feel good!
Rowan my daughter is 7.

I'm gonna do exactly your plan! It's true, better her coming w/me to meetings than to be Miss Speed Demon that I was going 24/7 non stop bitchin' all the time! Hell..I kinda like not running around like a chicken w/my head cut of anymore, my head feels great now! lol

08-12-2004, 12:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
ButterflyChaser Meow! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Posts: 1,023	Is this a good idea?????? Tell me..............I really REALLY need to get to meetings & I never will go cuz i always have my daughter. I know I can take her w/me and all, but I really dont' want her to know, ya know? (me the typical dope head, trying to hide again!lol) Imagine that! lol A counseler once told em that reguardless, I may think that my daughter doesn't know what's gone on in my past, but "she knows" whether I know it or not! Is that true? I need anyone's oppinions Please!!! Do you think it's a good idea to take her with me or no?? __________________ "If a Child feels Safe, Wanted & Loved, You are a Successful Parent!" ~~"A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers!!~~

08-13-2004, 11:35 AM	#5 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	I think you should sit down and talk to your daughter first. Don't get into detain but tell her you did some stuff you are not proud of and you don't do it anymore but these places help you not to. Explain to her that they help and since she is always with you would she be ok with going with you. Have her bring a book to read or a walkman. In the begining I used to let my daughter color. Now she doesn't like when we go and I don't bring her often but she knows they keep me doing the right thing. Sharing your past experiences may help her learn how bad they are and you can tell her she don't have to experience them you can tell her all she needs to know about them... __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

08-14-2004, 11:29 AM	#6 (permalink)
ButterflyChaser Meow! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Posts: 1,023	awwww. thanks you guys, you all made me have a tear in my eye, a tear of joy! made me feel good! Rowan my daughter is 7. I'm gonna do exactly your plan! It's true, better her coming w/me to meetings than to be Miss Speed Demon that I was going 24/7 non stop bitchin' all the time! Hell..I kinda like not running around like a chicken w/my head cut of anymore, my head feels great now! lol __________________ "If a Child feels Safe, Wanted & Loved, You are a Successful Parent!" ~~"A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers!!~~

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08-12-2004, 12:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
Rowan Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 8,913	How old is your daughter? My girls are 11 and 8, and I've been taking them regularly with me for 3 years now. I don't have a sitter, and don't want to use one to tell the truth (too much money). I bring books, sometimes colouring stuff, and sometimes a walkman to listen to during the meeting. They have gotten to know many of my friends and are welcomed warmly by the fellowship. I'm not saying my girls are THRILLED to attend meetings, but they do understand that I need to go, and they are pretty accepting overall. In the beginning I used to worry about what they may overhear at meetings that was inappropriate (btw I only take them to open meetings) but I figured that it would be a lot worse if I was still drinking and had some questionable characters hanging around my home. When I attend meetings, they see me laughing and having fun with recovery, and that feels damn good.

08-12-2004, 12:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,313	(((BF))) Your recovery is A1. Take your daughter....Rowan's plan of action is great. In the end your daughter will respect you for addressing your problems head-on... I definately believe our kids are more intuitive than we realize.

08-12-2004, 01:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
JennieB Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: ENGLISHTOWN, NJ Posts: 65	I agree with all the above as well. Bring them but bring something to occupy them with. some meetings actually have babysitters! I too think they know what is going on.

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