All My Life

[bubblze30]

All My life I was miserable. I lived in a drear relm of a life. I never smiled or if I did I was under the influence. I never knew what it was to be happy. I can honestly admit (altthough I love my daughter and would die for her) I was not even as happy as I should have been taking her home from the hospitol.Even going into recovery(I've tried quite a few times) I was never as happy as I seen others around me where. I never had that spirituality everyone talked about. I just never knew what they meant.
Today is different. I am not sure what happend. Over these past few months I have been a totally different person. I smile, I laugh. I love my daughter and love to go out into the world and do things with her. I don't fight with her, yelling all the time has stopped. I wake up in a good mood for the most part. I have my days but they are few and far between. I have faith in my higher power and truly believe things will be alright if I have faith. It works when I do. I see it. Before I did not.

Now I am not sure if its the medicine or the people here at S.R. Maybe its my women's group, or My Recovery skills group. Maybe its outside meeting or all of it combined. What I do know is its working. I am a totally different person. I have learned how to smile and to get out of bed. Sounds rediculous(get out of bed) but that was me. I am so greatful to be alive today. In the past I said why. I don't even have material things heck not even a couch to sit on, however I am having the best time of my life right nowe. The state I am in is so serene and peaceful. So happy and motivating. So damn so damn good. I have you women to thank for sure. When ever I am happy or sad I come in here. I sit in my living room on one of my kitchen chairs and type. Let it all out. My other groups are great but you are here twenty four seven. Whenever I need to talk cry laugh or just sit. Thank you ladies for your support and helping me find my happiness. I never knew there was happiness outside of using. Now I do and I owe that part of my life to all of you.

[Paulie]

Originally Posted by bubblze30

I have faith in my higher power and truly believe things will be alright if I have faith. It works when I do. I see it.

Yes it does. !

[Rowan]

Your message gave me the hope that I needed today. Thank you.

[wastedtime4me]

{{{{{{{{[bubblze}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Same here..you give me hope that it can be done!!!
I am very happy to see a happy post from you!!! I know life is like a rollercoaster..LOL..You sound happy today and that makes me happy!!!
I wish i lived close enough to walk to some water..other than the rec center..LOL.I love to be on the beach..If i could thats where i would "live" in the summer..Have a great time with your daughter..your makin memories that will last a lifetime!!! Also from another thread i think...You said your meds are workin..i know how that is..I am glad to hear your able to move around and have some fun!!! Congrats on the wieght lose..hopefully i am right behind you.....I had 2 bday partys in 4 days...I went overboard on cake and ice cream..Friday and saturday..were good days as far as not having any sweets...Lets hope today i wont go buy any either!!! We just sent out house payment and if he comes back from his trip and I went crazy spendin on junk food he will have a fit!!!Keep smilin bubblze..when you smile so does your lil girl.... :veryhappy

[KelKel]

Bubblze ...
Thank you so much for sharing your ESH.
I really needed to see it.
I am going to choose to have a serene day myself.