I'm Scared

[lilmansgram]

please bear with me, i need support and i'm scared. i don't know if i'm an alcoholic - i like to drink and do so probably 5 nights in a 7 day week usually about 8-10 beers, sometimes more, sometimes less. it has not affected my life or my relationships. i feel good about myself and am successfully conquering clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. i have a sunny disposition, an upbeat attitude and am very outgoing - even without the liquor!

i went to the doctor today for a regular 3 month checkup. he does a blood test on me once a year as he is very diligent about his patients' health. i have hypothroidism, but worse, liver inflammation and he has advised me to quit drinking. there could be a myriad of reasons why the liver is inflamed, but most likely, it is the alcohol. it's not a bad thing to have to live life without a drink, but i don't know how i'm gonna do it.

almost everything in my life tends to involve alcohol. family functions, relationships, there's always alcohol around. how do i do this? how do i not drink? i'm not only afraid for my health, i'm afraid i just can't do this! i don't know what to do or where to go. i'm too embarrased to try anything like aa. i have a friend who has gotten help on the sober recovery al-anon board, so thought i'd try here.

how do i do this???? i'm so afraid!

thanks for listenin

[zoomer]

Welcome to SR. There is no real way to quit drinking or no full proof plan except to do it. If you have a hard time doing it,then it's always good to talk to someone about it. From what you wrote, thats a lot of drinking! I guess for me the best way to start is not to think about tommorrow,next week next year and just concentrait on today. This is a place to come to help people with all kinds of problems,but it is suggested to also seek outside help as well because this is not a free clinic,just a place to be around others with the same kinds of problems. Sence your working on the depression part, I would think you are working with some sort of shrink. Talk to them about your doctor's findings as well, they too might be able to help you with some sort of plan to help you stay "not drinking".

[Little Missy]

Hi lil! Welcome to SR. You drink like I used to girl!! It can be very overwhelming for us to think we can never drink again. That's why we all take it One Day At A Time!! There is a lot of strength, support, wisdom, love, and so much more here! Stick around, we do this - not drinking thing together!

Hugs to you,
Missy

[sherbear5104]

Hi Lil,
Welcome to SR. This is a great place to be, lots of great people who will share they're experience, strength, and hope with you. You have reached out, that's a good first step. We can offer you suggestions here. It is scary when we first stop drinking. The thought of never drinking again can be very overwhelming, which is why we take it one day at a time. Zoomer had a good suggestion with talking to your shrink. Maybe he/she has a worksheet to help you figure out what impact alcocol has had on your life. Keep posting here and let us know how your doing.
Sherry

[51anna]

Hi Lil,

Welcome! Don't think about never having another drink again. I looked at it that way and it scared me a lot too. It's too overwhelming. Just take small steps and don't drink just for today. If you stop drinking you will likely have to change some things in your life to adjust. For instance, I found it awfully hard to be around alcohol early on and, in fact, still would prefer to not be around it. Sometimes people have to change their friends and social activities. It's not easy, but when it's your life, it's so worth it. It can be done and you might feel even better.

Love, Anna

[KelKel]

Hi Lil
I want to share something with you, I hope that it will help you to realize just how serious alcohol abuse can be.
A few years ago I met a beautiful girl in a 28 day rehab.
She is now 37 yrs. old
and dying from liver failure, she basically does not have a liver left. She is on a donar list, but will not qualify for a liver as she is still unable to stop drinking. She has two small children that she has not seen in about a year.
I make myself think about my friend and just how sad and scary this addiction I have is. It could just as easily be me in the same situation. She has been one of my more painful teachers in life.
It does not have to get worse before you make a decision to stop drinking.
Keep hangin' around here....it is a great place to be and get the support you need....
My name is Kellie and I a major alcoholic!

[namommy]

Lil,

Just wanted to welcome you to SR. I think most of it has been said. Just keep reaching out and we will reach back.

Kel's post says alot!!

Love ya

Laurie D

[Dawn10]

Lil,
Just for today, decide that you cannot drink. Just for today, decide that for your health, for your family, for for YOU, you cannot drink. Then you will see you can do it. I encourage you to stay strong, find the Higher Power that will help you and guide you. We are here for you and you can do it. I want you to know that you are not alone.

[lilmansgram]

And I'm pretty sure I'm in hell!

First of all, thank you wonderful ladies for your words of encouragement. I've always treasured the advice of the sages who've BTDT! Internet message boards are a great place to start and the relative anonymity comforts me.

I've taken your advice and decided that for just one day I'm not gonna drink. I wish dh would get the beer out of the house. It mocks me! I'm trying desperately to keep my sense of humor about this. Usually that gets me through, but geez, today, my hands were shaking, my stomach hurt, I had a horrid headache. Is this the withdrawl? It stinks!

Had lunch with my best friend today after having a crying fit with her on the phone last nite. She showed up at the restaurant with 4 articles she pulled off the internet outlining my possible liver problems and new eating patterns I need to adapt along with positive inspirational quotes. She's a real gem, lemme tell ya'll! I really don't want to talk to anyone I actually know about this, except for her!

So now I've made it two days....is it cheesy to "celebrate" that? I really don't feel like celebrating, I feel like crying, but what the hey, two days is better than none!

Thanks so much ladies! I hope to get the courage to post on your other threads as well and get into the "community" more. I just feel like such a wreck right now, not sure I could do anyone any good. At least not until I get through the weekend!

Have a good evening!

[KelKel]

Hey Lil
Day one is worth celebrating!
Hope you are doing better.
Sounds like you were having some withdrawal symptoms...
Are they better now.
Sorry I did not reply to your post before now, it got lost in the shuffle.
Let us know how you are, that is why we are here.
No matter what, K?

[HHButterfly]

Hi! Hope youre doing ok. Hang in there and keep posting. Two days is definitely worth celebrating! One day is worth celebrating!

Heather

[Paulie]

You are doing great!!!It gets better - promise!

[namommy]

Every journey begins with the first step. We all started our recovery with our first day. 2 days is awesome.