lost my job today

[kricket]

:newthread I am sitting here wondering why I continue this self destructive behavior. I have been through a treatment program and gone to meetings but eventually fell out of it. Even though I know I cant drink I still convince myself that it will be different this time. Probobly sounds familliar but what triggers me waybefore it happens would be nice to be able to see the warning signs of relapse. They say this happens way before you do it so what can I watch for? I've burned my bridges at work and almost at home and I do not want this to happen again. My drinking comes on in spurts, not an everday occurence, but when it happens I tend to binge drink to get it over with. I was a beuty consultant and feel like a complete looser for letting this happen because I loved waht I did....Please help!

[Paulie]

kricket -

Welcome to SR, I am glad you found us. I can only share my experience with you, and my experience in staying sober comes from working the program off AA and NA, working the steps of those programs. That is how by the grace of my HP I have been able to stay sober one day at a time.

What you are saying I believe 100%, the relapse starts way before we pick up the drink or drug. So what I wuold suggest to you is maybe back to some meetings. If you have gone through treatment I assume that you are familiar with the steps. For me it is the steps that help to work through all the stuff inside that gets me to the relapse point. As an addict, I had all kinds of stuff inside that I was carrying around with me, baggage that I had to let go of. I still work today on letting go of that baggage everyday.

Take it slow, one day at a time, get hooked up with face to face meeting suppport, get a sponsor and work the program. And keep coming here, this is a great place for friendship and support and a huge part of my recovery program.

This is just my suggestion from my experience, I am sure others will be by soon to share their experience and what works for them with you also.

[KelKel]

Hi Kricket
My name is Kellie and I am a full blown alcoholic. I am in my third day of sobriety. I have been in and out of recovery from my addiction for over 10 years. And yes I have lost a couple jobs due to my addiction.
I was relieved to find this site (SR). I have not been able to stop drinking by myself and have a hard time admitting that I can't do it alone.
You have taken your first step and I applaud you. How about going to an AA meeting? The people on this site are awesome and everyone wants to be supportive and to keep out addiction's at bay. So hang in there and know that this is a progressive dis-ease. It will only get worse unless you decide to let go and let others be there for you. :veryhappy
email me anytime.
Love & Light
Kellie

[51anna]

Kriket,

First of all you are not a loser. You have a problem.

I thought I didn't see the warning signals either when I would start to drink after stopping for a few days or so. But, I was in denial. The signs were there, I just didn't want to recognize them. For me, it would be negative self-talk. I would allow it to begin in my head and think that I deserved it. Then, the spiral would begin. I can't afford to allow myself to wallow. Take a close look and I bet that you'll see the behaviour that leads you to begin to drink. I understand what a mess drinking can make of your life, and I know that you can do this.

Love, Anna

[zoomer]

Hi Kriket, welcome to SR. I cannot add to what has already been posted,but this is a great place to be

[namommy]

Hi Kriket,

Also, the advice given here has been great. These people are wonderful and everyone has your best interest in mind. Get to a meeting, nothing beats the feel of a human hug.

Recognize your patterns, look back and think about what you were doing in the days, weeks, and months before your relapse. That has always helped me. And there are some days when it just happens. Basketball players think about basketball, we think about using.

The NA basic text has a chapter called 'Recovery and Relapse' one of my favorite lines is in the chapter, "Some days all we can do is to hold on to abstinece come hell or highwater". On those days, take it an hour at a time or even a minute at a time. You'll get it.

Love ya

Laurie D.